Rusty
February 5, 2013 at 6:30 am
Fred must have been a pretty great father to be awarded no custody or even visitation rights for the daughter. So let’s not talk about it, shall we?
And either Fred didn’t care enough to go to court to fight for the right to see his own daughter, or…or what? What reason could Kerry’s mother have to keep her away from her father? While it’s impossible even to guess how old Kerry must be, clearly she reached adulthood some time ago, and would have been free to pay Fred a visit anytime before his stroke. Whatever the reason for their estrangement, it’s simply forgotten as quickly as it is brought up, in classic TB narrative mode.
Son of Stuck Funky 
So this woman has to be in her early 40s? Old enough to come see her father any time she wanted to, no matter how her mother felt about it.
It’s Westview. The only way a separation of this level could ever be remedied is if a greater tragedy superseded it.
I thought that was a nice save by Darrin, though. Which I guess means another tragedy is coming.
This is so dumb, but stupidly enough, this sort of thing happens in real life. I daresay Funky is being sort of realistic.
I think I’ll come back next week when Funky is being hilariously bad rather than quietly aggravating.
Shame story telling Tom….kerry is spawn pre-Durwood arrival by several years.
Next you’ll be telling us she is the Kent State women’s basketball coach.
Looks like it was Fishstick who couldn’t carry eggs. Fred certainly showed he has the needed high octane.
Boy, Fred really pursued that relationship. “I invited her over to talk, but now Fred can’t speak! Still, they have a lot of catching up to do.”
I seriously don’t recall Fred and Anne looking this haggard just a couple of months ago after the Royal Wedding. Did the stroke take that much out of them, or does Batiuk just hit all of his characters too hard with the aging stick?
SON OF A WHORE, this narrative makes no sense! Oh well, at least it’s funny. Right?
This is so dumb, but stupidly enough, this sort of thing happens in real life. I daresay Funky is being sort of realistic.
Sorry, but if Kerry were a “we must never speak of her” baby from a few decades in Fred’s past, she probably wouldn’t be coming over to see Fred, and Fishstick certainly wouldn’t casually respond to her arrival with “oh hey, glad you could make it.”
It’s pathological.
WTF ? bathack
“HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME FRED? HELLO?? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? HELLO? HELLLLL-OOOOOOO?????”
“Plsssss killllg mhffff…plsssss killllg mhffffff.”
What a Long Estranged Trip It’s Been: You said it, TFH. This one is just indigestible sap masquerading as “story”. And it’s laughably awful indigestible sap, too, just gratuitously horrible. This isn’t “writing” nor is it “art”: it’s lazy cornball crap heavily dusted with faux-profoundity and salted with old lady tears. This is so bad that if TB posted on his blog that he’d been hacked and today’s strip is a fake, I’d almost believe him. Today’s strip doesn’t merely insult the reader’s intelligence: it pulls its hair, spits in its eye and knees it in the groin repeatedly before stealing its wallet. If I ever got paid for “writing” something this lousy I’d wear a disguise and avert all eye contact while trying to cash the check.
So now Fred’s a good guy again? All that crap about crushing Ann’s dream of being a sportswriter, that’s all been swept under the rug and forgotten about… like a certain someone who just showed up at the front door? Okay, then.
Ann: “Kerry’s mother never wanted her to see your father.”
Darin: “….um, so?”
Ann: “What?!?”
Darin: “So what if she didn’t?!? Yeesh, if Dad sired her before marrying you, she’s got to be…what? Forty one?”
Ann: “And disobey her mother! BAH! You’re just another evil kid yourself, aren’t you Darin?!? Children MUST be obedient to their parents! Unless their parent is EVIL, like Becky’s mom.”
Darin: “So…Fred’s bitter ex wife isn’t evil?”
Ann: “Heck no! Haven’t you been paying attention? Fred sucks! I envy the girl for getting FREE of that worthless sack of sh-”
Darin: “….*grin*…Mom, you’re a regular spitfire.”
Ann: “…why, thank you, Darin.”
****************************************
Fred Fairgood: Barely glimpsed cameo character in his own arc.
Look at today’s strip, and then ask yourself, “Was O.B. Dan right about saying goodbye to Daddy Dearest, or what?”
You know, I realized that this is probably the incredibly botched introduction to the Lisa Coda, as Darrin realizes that he, too, has a father who he has never met. So he goes and hunts down his bio dad to reconnect, despite never having met him and only knowing that said bio dad raped his bio mom when she was a teenager. (He knows that, right? With all her addiction to drama, Lisa HAD to tell him that, right? Right??)
You know, sometimes adopted children don’t want to meet their biological parents, and a situation like this would most likely be one of those times.
Charles if she didn’t tell him I’m sure TB will have a video, Lisa the Prophetic, left called, “So you’re ready to meet your rapist father”.
Would anyone be surprised that we never hear from or about Kerry when/if this arc concludes on Saturday?
Charles, are you suggesting that Fred Fairgood is… a rapist? ‘Cuz if not i will.
Darren: “What horrible crimes must a man have committed to be estranged from his own daughter, his ex-wife who he once-…”
Anne: “…”
Darren: “Wr….wry word play!”
Anne: “Wry wordplay!” (smirk)
It’s like BatHole dropped this huge pile of horse shit when Kerry (appearing to be a college-age student) first appeared on the doorstep, and has been furiously shoveling ever since.
Reader: “Wait. Fred has a 19 year old daughter?”
TB: “Uh no. Hello! She’s about 40.”
Reader: “Whatever. News to us. Never heard of her.”
TB: “Fool! That’s because they made a pact never to speak of her.”
Reader: “So they swept his DAUGHTER under the rug…? WTF?”
TB: “Obviously you aren’t a syndicated cartoonist. Criticize me when you get your own cartoon published. Her mother ORDERED her not to see her father.”
Reader: “But now she’s almost 40! Still has to take orders from a bitter, psychotic mother??”
TB: *superior smirk*
Reader: “Ow, my head hurts. So why does she look like a kid? And how did she change her coat while standing on the porch?”
TB: “I don’t respond to beady eyed nitpickers.”
TB waddles off.
Does anyone have the feeling that Annie is lying to Dipstick’s face about now? I do!
“Darwin, Fishstick, I don’t know why you can’t understand Daddy Fred. I understand every word he says. In fact, he just told me unequivocally that he wants to change his will right fucking now!
“Kerry, I know you are an adult now and can make your own decisions, but I still advise not going and visiting your father until he’s either lost his cognitive abilities or he’s dead.”
“Why, mother?”
“Because he’ll make that *@#s joke about how he ‘helped with the delivery’ when you were born!”
TB’s scenario makes total sense when you think about it…
As Inkwell indicates, there’s some pretty weird shit that takes place in real life, and something like this is not outside the realm of possibility – it’s certainly nothing like having a long dead character making phone calls from the hereafter. For myself, I’m going to sit back and see where TB goes with this. I suspect it’s just going to be another leaf on a branch of the FW character family tree which will never be visited again.
<>
Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile.
(sorry, meant to reply to Inkwell’s comment)
Meanwhile here is the current standings…and guess what? UO women svck more then KSU women basketball:
Mid-American Conf All East
Miami (OH) 6-2 14-7
Akron 5-3 14-7
Bowling Green 5-3 14-7
Buffalo 5-3 7-14
Kent St. 1-7 3-18
Ohio 0-8 5-15
The columns are all messed up. Did I do that?
So kind and gentle for Westview principal Fred must have been a violent and abusive husband. why else would his ex- have insisted that Fred have NO contact with their child at all. There’s something dark and sinister about Fred that we have not found out about.
My God…I’m actually starting to miss the Les Moore strips. You’ve done it Batiuk..you’ve finally broken me. I want to see Moore of Les. Arrgh!!!! Now I’m making awful puns!!!!!!!!!! My soul is destroyed…..
I expect a horror story about the abusive Lighthouse Center, which story will end both abruptly and unsatisfyingly.
In other news, @guerino tweeted me expressing disbelief that there are blogs devoted to FW snark. I educated him. Satisfyingly.
Why did Fred want to adopt Darrin when he didn’t even try for *visitation* rights with Kerry? Also, again what was the purpose of the Sunday flashback, what does Bull have to do with this?
Nothing else is going to happen: this IS the “big climax” of this arc. The rest of it will consist of Boy Lisa sitting there with a perplexed look on his stupid face while his idiot wife coos and gurgles like the blank slate she is. “Kerry” will never be seen or mentioned again and the Fairgoods won’t be back for another four or five years, guaranteed. This Batom character is once again demonstrating why his stupid comic strip is so loathed and reviled by anyone with a semi-functioning brain. Anyone referring to him as a “writer” should be indicted for fraud, I’ve written checks that were more compelling and entertaining than what passes for his “best” work. And so have you.
Fred is like the character in “Johnny Got his Gun”, blinking his eyes as “SOS” and “Kill me” in Morse Code
Fred is a sexist! He didn’t want to know Kerry at all, but he adopts Darrin and spoils him to death. He wanted a son and not a daughter. Darrin needs to disown Fred and establish a relationship with Kerry.
Fred is a sexist?
You’re being very swift to drink the Tom B Kool-Aid, Dreamer.
Up until a few weeks ago, “Kerry” was an unnamed throwaway gag Tom forgot about for decades and Fred & Ann were the sweet, happy couple who raised the Son Of Lisa the Holy.
We have -only- Ann’s word on ANY of this bizarre crap, and her recent actions make her a dubious source of info at best.
But hey! Feel free to join Tom in pointlessly crapping on a peripheral character for now reason but to generate filler until we reach Lisa’s Story 3: The Shoe Rises
Panel One
Kerry: “So…let’s talk about your wife. You treat her like a roommate, she claims she’s making a documentary…I would say she’s cheating on you.”
Darin: “Hmm, I guess.”
Panel Two:
Kerry: “You don’t really have feelings for that airhead anymore, but you like me, right?”
Darin “…uh…” (he’s sweating)
Panel Three:
Darin: “What have I gotten myself into this time?”
Kerry: “Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”
Yeah, this scenario looks like it’s going from “bizarre plot twists” to “disturbing” really quickly. I really hope that I don’t see anything like the hypothetical dialogue above.