I’m Bad, I’m Nationwide

Les is in mad demand. The Widow Darling has heard of Les’ success and wants him for the “Today” Show. Les’ friends are beside themselves with glee. Susan appears to slip her hand into the back of Les’ skull and work him like a ventriloquist’s dummy.

If it’s any consolation, the Puppies Behind Bars arc should kick in after next week. ‘Til then I’m sure we can look forward to more gritty, true-to-life New York street scenes, and maybe cameos by Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera, drawn so you can’t tell them apart.

Comments Off on I’m Bad, I’m Nationwide

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0 responses to “I’m Bad, I’m Nationwide

  1. This is the one story line that TB sticked with. He may not complete any of the others but he stills with this one.

  2. Sgt Saunders

    Once again, Susie-Q is right behind Les, her fingers dancing merrily through the greasy kid’s stuff that is Les’ vampire hair while Cayla continues to migrate out of the panel altogether, her ethnic features being the only bit of her that we’re allowed to see. Meanwhile, “Melons” Apple continues to deteroiate, her hair looking like she’s just survived a six-way sexytime with every member of the cast in P1. Funky and Summer look especially satisfied.

    And the Today Show. Really? Les will be wedged between some family with 30 kids and a soccer coach who taught his dog to pray. With any luck, Matt and Meredith will be drawn to vaguely resemble humans, and come off looking like Cary Granite and Ann Marg-rock, while Les maintains his standard cartoon-vampire look. Overall, TB’s egomania is taking on a life of its own, like some mad steam engine barreling down a five-mile grade with a lunatic at the throttle. It can only end in disaster, which, when you think about it, is par for the Westview course.

  3. davidorth

    What the hell is Apple Annie holding? It’s too big to be a cell phone but too small to be an iPad.

    Awesome rant as always, Sarge!

  4. Epicus Doomus

    What IS the deal with Cayla? Do her and Les have some kind of weird backwards cuckolding thing going on or what? What’s going on with Susan’s neck, Olive Oyl much? Les couldn’t handle the Raunchy Rush Hour with Radio Ron, what makes everyone think a national TV show appearance would be a good idea? What’s up next for Saturday, a call from the Nobel prize committee?

  5. davidorth

    What the hell can Jan Murdoch Darling and Intern Chinpubes possibly be saying to eachother?

    “Hey, Rog, you won’t believe it; I actually know someone who lost a loved one to cancer!”

    “Amazing! Tell me more!”

    “She got sick and died!”

    “Wow, that’d make some book!”

    “It gets better; he *did* write a book about it!”

    “We’ve got to get him on as soon as possible!”

  6. S.P. Charles

    I’m sure TB’s forgotten, but Jan does have a connection to all this: she’s Lisa’s son’s mother-in-law.

  7. O.B. Dan

    Please, just kill me…kill me now, make it quick and painless, unlike following this strip, which is a long, slow, painful death…

  8. Man, you people are on fire today, good snark!

  9. billytheskink

    “Les Moore will NOT be a “blurb paramour” for anyone; not the blonde reporter of unknown age, not the local television personality who reads while she drives, not Ron Radio, not the those ungrateful cub scouts, and certainly not the Today Sh… Wait, did you say the Today Show? Like the one on NBC? Well, that’s different…”

    For those waiting on a Matt Lauer cameo, check the screen behind Jan’s head.

    What the hell is Apple Annie holding? It’s too big to be a cell phone but too small to be an iPad.
    Well davidorth, let’s examine what we know. Too big to be a cell phone, too small to be an iPad, her name’s Apple, she’s a bit behind the times in technology… She must be holding a Newton MessagePad.

    Last week J. Geils, this week ZZ Top. Icing on the snark cake (which is outstanding today, folks).

  10. Sean D

    Yeah, Les will be interviewed by Matt or Merideth in the strip, but in the real world we all know he’s voted “Most Likely To Be Bumped From Hour Four When Kathie Lee Goes Long Telling A Cute Story In The First Segment.”

  11. Jon

    Summer lives. And Funky is stunned.

  12. Sgt Saunders

    Matt and Meredith? Think again. Les will be appearing on the Hoda and Kathie Lee Booze it and Lose It Hour of Female Power, making Lisa’s favorite Zombie Diced-Tomatoes-Suspended-In-Lime-Jello dessert. He will stagger out of Studio 1A, just battered on wine, get mugged again and fall asleep on Lisa’s bench in Central Park all before noon. Succubus Lisa will appear shimmering and hovering over the bench. She is Not Happy.

  13. TB keeps on repeating the story of Les’s John Darling book as if he never lost that manuscript that Apple “coco for cocoa puffs” Annie found/hoarded for about 13 years.
    What was that about saying a fib long enough to the point people start to believe it?
    The Today Show will give ’em softball questions on national TV and there will be a pulitzer in here somewhere.
    My only hope is that this will lead to OB Dans TGF and put us all out of our miery.

    While in San Antonio this week I was pleased to see that FW is not published there.

    God Bless Texas.

  14. O.B. Dan

    Summer lives…[she]will appear shimmering and hovering over the bench. She is not happy.

    Yep, she lives, and will always own the space SWS and Cayla would like to fill. And she is happy, not sad at all.

    But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here…

  15. Sgt Saunders

    “Summer lives…[she]will appear shimmering and hovering over the bench. She is not happy”.

    “Succubus Lisa will appear shimmering and hovering over the bench. She is Not Happy.”

    Playing fast and loose with quotes so readily accessible, oy…or did you mash the quotes together to make a fresh, new point?

  16. Epicus Doomus

    Get a load of Funky there in the background. All that good news seems to have stunned him into a state of near-hysteria. Or he snuck a few swigs from Sunday’s champagne bottle.

    If Annie lugged around Lester’s John Darling manuscript for over a decade wouldn’t it figure that she must have read it once or twice? Certainly Darling’s wife had to have been mentioned in this so-called book. So why would she be asking Les if he knows who she is?

    Whoa, felt dizzy there for a minute, serves me right for attempting to make sense out of FW’s unique take on “reality”.

  17. Sgt Saunders

    I felt dizzy too, just reading that. Les seems to be living in a world where “Fallen Star” got published. Whomever published it must have dropped him like a bad habit, because he had to get Apples to shill Story of L. for him in order to finally sign a contract with KSU Press. I’m starting to think we’re still in Funky’s coma.

  18. I have really enjoyed the discussion today. I missed that whole Apple Annie script theme, whenever it happened. More mysterious to me is how the Today Show staff suddenly hears about Les’s book, which is currently known mostly to afficionados of Montoni’s in Westview.

    Maybe Apple Annie contacted all the major news media…but for a fairly obscure author to be called up so suddenly by the Today Show seems far-fetched. If the impetus came from Mrs. Darling, and she has been following Les’s career closely….well, maybe….

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