December 15, 2011 at 11:38 pm
…So the thing sat in Summer’s tape storage shelf for over a decade when Summer finally decided to give him a tape for his birthday (was it his 30th? That might make a little sense, but not enough).

December 16, 2011 at 2:40 am
Was there some sort of “Do not watch until so-and-so date” note on this videotape? If so, why? Why would Lisa want Darwood to wait X amount of years before viewing it? That makes no sense.

This birthday celebration could plausibly have been Darin’s 30th, allowing for Westview’s chronosynclastic infundibulum aka Batiuk’s ever-more-confounding time jump. According to the Meet the Cast page on the official FW site, Darin’s pushing 30 (we just don’t know from which side). But the videocassette is just marked “Darin’s Birthday”. Maybe they make him watch it every year? That would be nutty. Anyway, the party’s (finally) over, and the tape is rewound and returned to the Lisa Library.

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  1. Epicus Doomus

    So Lisa’s “back on the shelf” for another year, eh? How very symbolic. None too soon, either, because this arc seemed to drag on forever. At least her appearance last year on the white courtesy phone at the airport was funny (sicko!), unlike this maudlin trudge through the forests of sap. Then again, the Lisa character was always as boring as watching paint dry. Hopefully they stored the rest of the Lisa tapes next to some powerful rare-earth magnets or something. We can only pray that Derwin doesn’t transfer these tapes to DVD with his technical wizardry, or it might be another three years before they’re obsolete.

  2. confuzzled by funky

    my only reaction is uuuuuhhh….

  3. $$$Westville Oncologist$$$$$

    Panel 2- Darrin thinks to himself as he places the tape on his bookshelf.

    “Whew thank god that’s over with!” What a crappy birthday gift from androgynous half-sibling. Well..on the plus side I can save my DVR space and use the tape for recording Jersey Shore this week!!

  4. Makes you wonder what other events she could have made tapes for.

  5. billytheskink

    Serious Leno chin in panel 1…

    And, Epicus, of course Durwood will transfer the tapes to HD-DVD; using an app he wrote originally just to gobsmack Tony no doubt.

  6. Jeffcoat Wayne

    I hope there’s a trash can below frame in Panel 2, otherwise today’s strip makes no sense.

  7. John

    Lisa: “So one more time, Darin…”

    Darin: “Oh gawd.”

    *fifteen minutes pass*

    Lisa: “…happy birthday! Also, visit Lisa’s Legacy Fund-dot-com.”

    Les: *off camera* “It’s dot-ORG.”

    Lisa: “Well, how the hell am I supposed to remember THAT, genius?”

    Les: “One would think you’d use your free time to memorize such important facts.”

    Lisa: “My…free…time. My. Free. Time. MY FREE TIME?!? Why, you little $#!+, you lousy rotten @#%^&*(!!!””

    *the tape cuts off at this point. Our last image of Lisa flushed with rage, quivering in anger that her only outlet to her future children is through her incompetent, clueless dolt of a husband. Darin breathes out a sigh of complete and utter weariness. Twelve hours, spent watching a rambling, miserable tape by a wretched woman. A woman trying to convince herself that trite lines she heard in movies and cliche “pushy mother” quips would somehow…do something. It’s all so very depressing. He can’t even blink in shock when he sees a URL hovering in front of the dusty shelf where they keep these fragile, ancient relics devoted to Saint Lisa.*

    Darin: “I need a drink.”


    Darin: “Huh? Oh, hi Les. …*…alright, alright. Hi, “step dad”. Yeah, it’s done. What? ….*…um, NO, I -don’t- want to eat at Montoni’s. YES, I’m QUITE SURE. Listen, Mom’s whipped up this great cake and….STOP CALLING HER “ANAL”! It’s ANN! YEESH!”

  8. John

    Is it just me, or do none of those “Darin expressions” look like they’re being performed by the same character? It looks like a group of completely different men who happen to share the same hair color.

  9. Jason

    So I looked through all the pictures on the “meet the cast” page, and I’m left with only one question:

    Who are these people, anyhow?

    Seriously, hardly a third of them ever show up in the strip.

    Jason: I almost never offer “spoilers”…but one of those missing characters makes his first Act III appearance next week. Stay tuned. –TFH

  10. Flummoxicated

    I just checked out the “Meet the Cast” page too…Bull and Crazy are 46? What the hell? I had no idea 40 was the new 70.

  11. Beanie Wanker

    I was also very concerned to see the tape labeled “Darin’s Birthday.” Not Darin’s THIRTIETH Birthday, or anything like that. Really makes me wonder if they are forced to whip that tape out EVERY year at this time. Maybe they’re at the point now when they have everything Propped-Up-And-At-Death’s-Door Lisa said memorized and they’re starting to mock it a bit. That would account for why Summer was in the room at the begining of the tape but has since left the room — She left in tears after Blondie Bananahead scrunched his hair into the shape of Lisa’s chemo wig and did his “dead on” Lisa impression. Doesn’t matter. Summer will yank it off the shelf and cram it down everybody’s throats again next year.

  12. @John: Darin: “I need a drink.”

    I’m sitting here sipping my sangiovese, and it hit me: no one drinks in Westhell. They only used to, and then only badly.

    Does anyone know if the Batomic corporation is, itself, an alcoholic?