Hats a Fact, Jack

Before we really dive into the insanity that is today’s strip: isn’t Dinkle retired? Is he still on the schools’ payroll? Get a load of him, strutting right into the high school like he owns the joint, not displaying one of those clip-on ID’s that TB painstakingly draws on every teacher. Where my kids go to school, this would be verboten.

As would be the wearing of hats by students. While it’s clear that these students are just arriving to school on a cold morning, we haven’t seen Owen without that stupid chullo stuck on his head since before Halloween. (Okay, once.) So, do you reckon TB went to a mall somewhere (would have to be about a year and a half ago), noticed a couple kids wearing these hats, and made the assumption that this is what “all the kids” are into these days?

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0 responses to “Hats a Fact, Jack

  1. Confuzzled by Funky

    I try to avoid reading Funky let alone using brain power to post my remarks. Yet, this time I have to. The last time I walked into a public school I had to empty my pockets, go to through a metal detector, then sign my name, and pick up a visitor pass. I know Dinkle is a legend at the High School but how out of touch is Batiuk?

  2. flappy

    maybe batshit seen Tim & Eric skit “Rats off to you”

  3. JynnanTonnyx

    Playing devil’s advocate, I will say that chullos are really comfy and warm. There are worse fads.

  4. sourbelly

    Yeah. Observational humor doesn’t really work when the observation has no basis in reality. It’s like a stand-up comic saying, “J’ever notice how the kids these days all have three heads?”

  5. Here ya go, Flappy! “Rats Off to Ya!” (hey! It’s “Flo” from the Progressive Insurance commercials!)

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Check out the last panel, there’s a student’s head blocking our view of Becky’s pinned-up sleeve. That almost never happens.

    I’m a little disappointed by this strip, I kind of thought those stupid annoying hats were Owen’s trademark. So he’s either a trend-setter (ha) or a blind conformist, in addition to his numerous other shortcomings.

    Thanks to TB for helpfully including the word “band” right next to Dinkle’s withered old head in panel six. Because for a few long seconds I had absolutely no idea who he was supposed to be. Check out the floating head over the title, thoughtfully gazing over his realm like some sort of instantly-recognizable iconic comics figure. Like he kind of used to be before everyone aged thirty years.

  7. billytheskink

    I keep picturing the lone non-conformist, front and center there in panel 2, jumping out of the strip a la The Ring.

  8. John

    1) Harry: “Hmmm. Better swagger on into the school. No need to sign in or get a visitor’s badge. They know me. Oh, walkin’. I’m definitely walking!”

    2) Samara: “….seven days.”

    3) Harry: “I walked in here with such purpose, but I suddenly feel like gawking at all the tender, sweet teens on display here. Oooh. I feel mildly naughty doing so.”

    4) Harry: “Now I think I’ll cock my head and look pensive. Or a bit constipated.”

    5) Harry: “Is it just me, or are the kids at the lockers translucent?!? Wild.”

    6) Becky: “Harry, what the heck are you doing here?”

    Harry: “Oh, I just felt like visiting.”

    Becky: “Uh-huh.”

    7) Harry: “Hats.”

    Becky: “…hats?”

    Harry: “I just wanted to observe that they are something that exists.”

    Becky: “That, or the children in school are gradually being replaced by carnivorous sentient alien reptiles from planet Drakon. Of course, that would be silly.”

    Harry: “What an odd thing to say.”

    Boy in Shades: “She suspectsssss….”

  9. John

    billy: Blast! I type too slow. *g*

  10. Charlene

    For every ten kids I see, five are wearing chullos and five are bareheaded. But isn’t FW set in Ohio, where it hardly gets cold enough for a hat?

  11. Helskor

    While waiting (in vain) for new story arc ideas, Batiuk apparently likes to doodle chullo hats on his sketch pad, over and over again. Bricks and chullo hats.

  12. Even when it’s in the 20s here, most of the kids waiting on the school bus that I see in the morning barely have coats on, let alone hats. The ones around here would rather be cool than warm – and from my now-distant youth, I remember that feeling. So … in Westview, chullos must be cool?

    Anyway, there are only four kids without hats on – two, if you don’t count the hoodies. That dark-haired girl in panel 1, and that big bruiser over by the lockers in panel 4. I guess Westview teens are lucky the latest fad is so affordable.
    But seriously: if so many kids are wearing them, how can Dinkle never have noticed before? And given that one of the “code breakers” is right in front of him in panel 1 there, does he plan on turning her in?

  13. ps – @Charlene: You say “But isn’t FW set in Ohio, where it hardly gets cold enough for a hat?” I’d hate to live where you do, if you don’t think the teens and twenties Fahrenheit are cold enough for a hat!

  14. bayoustu

    There must be some mistake- I think I actually saw a few students SMILING!! Fraud! Calumny! Malfeasance!

  15. Merry Pookster

    I liked see the group shot(s) of all these Westview students.
    Now I know where our manual labor of the future is coming from.

  16. Hey Pookster, I’m glad you mentioned “group shots”! I stumbled upon an old Flash animation that used to be on funkywinkerbean.com. It shows the Act II cast (relatively happier times) and includes one or two characters who I can’t recall for the life of me:

    I will find a permanent home for this gem somewhere on the site.

  17. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$

    Yes, indeed there is a dress code, Harry Dinkle. Even the Angel of Death in Panel 4 has adhered to this policy and is sporting a death’s head adorned chullo. You have a right to look behind your back, Harry. Death’s coming for ya.

  18. O.B. Dan

    Yes, Dingleberry is retired. No, he’s not on the payroll. But he won’t go away. And he never answers the door when it’s Masky knocking.

  19. Jimmy

    I guess it depends on your location, but I wouldn’t blink an eye walking into a school hallway like that in Colorado. Half my college students wear those hats in class, and my wife has a couple.

    As for TFH’s video clip, I always found “Tom Goes to the Mayor” extremely grating.

  20. Jimmy

    My above comment seems to come off bitterly, but I didn’t mean it that way at all. Here’s a lesson: proofread your comments before looking like an ass.

  21. Beanie Wanker

    Okay, let’s take inventory. Per BatFart: Teens are ignorant, lazy, devious cheaters, texting away on their smartphones, addicted to “vendo” food and “pop,” AND they slavishly follow every ridiculous fad (viz. chullos) that comes down the pike.

    Did I miss anything?

    Batom, Inc. – Building a Better Tomorrow (as long as it doesn’t involve teenagers)

  22. flappy

    thanks for linking video TFH,i love all tim & eric shows

  23. You’re welcome, flappy! I actually never watched Tim & Eric, but I’m a big fan of Stephanie Courtney (“Flo” from Progressive) and will confess that I watched that clip over and over.

    Jimmy, your comment was certainly taken in the spirit in which it was intended. I’m just really surprised that in Colorado of all places, anyone who’s not a student would be able to freely walk into a school without raising alarm after Columbine.

  24. I could be wrong, but I think Jimmy meant he wouldn’t blink an eye because the students look normal, not that nobody would blink an eye if a stranger walked into the hallway…