Hell in a Bucket

Crazy Harry: “Cool story, bro. Now get your ass behind that counter and rustle me up my free cup of coffee. This mail ain’t gonna deliver itself.”

Yes, Tony has long been known for his wacky marketing ideas. But maybe the world was ready for a Bucket of Pizza. Someone in Michigan apparently had the same idea…40 years ago…


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0 responses to “Hell in a Bucket

  1. Jeffcoat Wayne

    I’m confused. If Montoni’s is right now celebrating its 40th anniversary, then what’s this business about Tony’s dad opening Montoni’s? Was that 40 years ago, or is he referring to some sort of original Montoni’s and the current Montoni’s we know is actually part of a franchise? Is that even possible, considering this place has never seemed to draw a profit? I’m confused.

    I’m confused.

    I’m confused.

    My head is broken.

    … and I’m confused.

  2. Louder

    I wish I could come up with some cute, snarky, thing to say about this week’s run by TBatHack, but all I can say is that it’s been pure crap. Worthless hackory at its worse.

  3. Chyron HR

    “I came up with a few firsts of my own, like starting Famous Original Montoni’s across the street and driving him out of business. Ha ha!”

    Fun Funkyversary Fact: If you look very closely, you will see that Tony Montoni once had a thick mat of pubic hair growing from his scalp. And never un-see it.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Les is plumb out of stories involving Lisa and pizza at the moment, so it’s back to how Tony took a thriving, family-owned Italian restaurant and ran it into the ground with his adorable brand of cranky idiocy, or something. Man, for an anniversary retrospective type of deal, this has been really weak. The regular arcs are more interesting than this. Imagine saying THAT in any other context.

    I do like how Harry is hanging around BS’ing with the gang and ignoring his full sack of mail, though. You go, Harry: stick it to the man!

  5. TheDiva

    How has this place lasted forty years again? Oh yeah right, only functioning business in town.

  6. Merry Pookster

    1972 was the first pizzeria in Westview?

  7. flappy

    how lucky can we all be,free batshit wallpaper for our computers at funkys web site

  8. sourbelly

    Louder: Yes, this is a tough week for snarkage. I was really expecting a lot more out of these 40th anniversary strips. But this stuff is just…bleh.

    At least we still have the pubic coffee steam emanating from Funky’s cup. That’s…something. Right? No? OK.

  9. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Even if it is free, that wallpaper is way overpriced.

  10. O.B. Dan

    I’m trying so hard to figure out this 40th anniversary of Montoni’s, which his (hopefully) smarter father opened some time prior to that forty-year mark.

    My head hurts…

  11. Beanie Wanker

    The bucket o’ pizza idea was sheer marketing genius compared to Doucheweed’s ultra-hipster iPhone app. That was the answer to a question nobody was asking, and the solution to a problem that didn’t exist. Hell, Papa John’s will let you order a pizza from your local franchise by going to a website, but for me, it’s so much quicker to pick up the phone and call it in.

    Yet BatDork probably thought it was the most original, brilliant idea since the transistor.

    On the other hand, no account slackers like Durrhey tend to come up with these elaborate but useless ideas with little practical benefit.

  12. Helskor

    The creepiest part of this week’s strips are those fake, queasy smiles Batiuk drew on Les and Funky. You can tell he’s not used to drawing characters who aren’t smirking supercilliously or staring dumbly in despair.

  13. billytheskink

    So even a 40th anniversary banner can’t draw any customers to Montoni’s… I don’t think we’ve seen anyone buy anything from Montoni’s in months, throw out the main cast characters and it’s probably been years.

    Since we’ve been looking at old artwork this week, I thought it might be interesting to scan and post this strip from October 30, 1999 that I found in an old comics page that my father used as packing material.
    Note that in this part of Act II: Funky was not yet on the wagon, Li and Lin had not yet been run out of town by Toxic Taco, Les was still wearing a windshield on his face, and Lisa was wearing a wig because of the you know what.

  14. bobanero

    Now if you bread and deep fry the pizza slices before you put them in the bucket, you may be on to something.

  15. dollyllama

    “That was the answer to a question nobody was asking, and the solution to a problem that didn’t exist.”

    Which is exactly what you would expect from someone who is homesick for a place he’s never been.

  16. Dreamer

    Westview is based on Akron, and I feel fairly sure that there *was* a pizzeria in Akron prior to 1972.

  17. Flummoxicated

    Dreamer: As someone who grew up in Akron, you have no idea how it pains me to think that, even if it’s only in the strange world of TomBat’s head, Akron = Westview!!

    In fact, I the main reason I dislike FW is because it gives the wrong impression of my hometown. Akron has some problems, but it isn’t the hellhole that Westview is.

  18. Charles

    Wow, that picture of Lisa from 1999… has there ever been a character whose appearance has changed so dramatically in comicdom? I mean, jeez, looking at the earlier ones, that 1999 one and her “Dead Lady of Perpetual Visitation” visage (which, admittedly, is how she looked before her cancer took a turn for the worse) and it’s impossible to buy that those three figures are supposed to be the same character.

    Also, I’m curious. Have you ever seen a woman who has a hairstyle that might be the model for Lisa in her teen pregnancy strips?

  19. Jeffcoat Wayne

    I don’t remember the full Act II backstory/retcons, but are Crazy Harry and Hairy Linda on a date in that 1999 scan?

  20. Beanie Wanker

    Can’t explain why Dead Lisa looks different every time you see her. Also can’t explain how Cayla went from a Fine Sistah to a tanned white soccer mom. Can only guess that BatPutz sucks ass as an artist.