Westview is truly a town without pity, as Owen finds no takers for the thawed and bleeding bird he’s schlepping from door to door. As a parent, I’ve been around my share of fundraisers. People tend to be inclined either to give, as long as it’s for a good cause; or not, in which case they simply refuse to answer the door. The folks in Westview, though, insist on asking pointed questions of the seller, before finally declining to buy. And forget about how that turkey was raised, ma’am: its thawed carcass has been conveyed through the streets of town for the last three days tucked ‘neath the arm of a hippie. You do not want that turkey.
23 thoughts on “Dolt with a Poult”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
“Duh” is right (what a perfect panel THAT one is). The obnoxious, rude and disinterested jerk-off is having a tough time peddling thawing “band turkeys” to the local rubes (who are subjected to this every year which makes one wonder why they even bother answering the door in the first place). Ha-f*cking-ha.
And that wordplay-based (guffaw) “joke”…wow, talk about low standards. I MIGHT have laughed at that when I was four or five years old, but even that’s a stretch. I mean come on man, you ARE still getting paid for this, put a little effort into it, you know?
beware batack,Rex morgan doing boob cancer but with strippers,maybe Lisa had daughter in van ?
HE’S WALKING AROUND WITH ONE FUCKING FROZEN TURKEY AND…
Sorry. We’ve learned something about Owen. He’s a filthy, unfunny idiot. With no guidance from the One-Armed Wonder or any other member of this cash-strapped, achievement-bereft school. Everyone in Westview sucks, forever.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s go to Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If nothing else, this arc cements Owen’s status as a feckless miscreant without value to society. In other words, a standard FW character.
Maybe it’s Stockholm Syndrome, but I’m actually starting to enjoy this week’s excuse for a story arc. A smelly, retarded teenager in a funny hat wandering alone through a bleak suburban landscape with a frozen turkey, failing to communicate with the few people he encounters. It wouldn’t make a bad graphic novel or webcomic (if someone other than Batiuk were writing it).
Satchel from Get Fuzzy just called and said that this misunderstanding gag is lame…
1/4 inch
I gotta give this one to Owen. What kind of self centered jerk off would ask a kid selling band turkeys this kind of question?
The thing that looked successful about the strip with Maddie selling band candy you linked to in yesterday’s post? Not only was she cute and talkative, she was wearing a band uniform.
Helskor, maybe it’s Batomic’s take on “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy.
I’m not sure if he’s trying to portray Owen as sullen and stupid or just stupid This isn’t a good joke but I think it’d be funnier if the second panel was wordless and showing Owen using his limited brain skills to figure out what the lady meant and them coming up with the punchline – as Baldrick did time and time again in the Blackadder series. But it would appear that Batuik has lost whatever comic timing he had. Taking yourself (not the work) too seriously can do that to a person. What matter little things like comic timing when you are showing the world how miserable things are?
Why do I think this entire week would have been completely hilarious if Owen were towing that band turkey behind him in a little red wagon? It’d be more realistic too!
This week has cemented it for me, however. Owen’s going to be the new kid star of this comic. He has a nice combination of things TB admires and feels contempt for. I suspect Owen will show up every time he needs a feckless teenager, which will be often. Later, Cody, who he respects a lot more than Owen because of his superficial resemblance to author avatar Les, will become more prominent and that’s when we know another time jump is in store.
Maybe on Saturday, Owen will finally snap and lob a frozen, 14-pound turkey at Becky’s head. QLUNQ.
Huh, he beat a joke to death in just 3 days. That’s got to be some kind of record, right?
@Professor Fate: About the “Duh…” in panel 2: Two days ago we had a wordless panel 2 ruined because Batominc used the wrong punchline (“Something” rather than “$25”). Clearly Batominc misidentified the wordlessness of panel 2 as the point where the joke failed, and did not want to repeat that mistake—which is weird, because repeating “gags” like band turkeys, raining on the band, “Becky’s mother is a harridan,” and so forth don’t give Batominc any pause at all.
I think the last few storylines are attempts to kill us all. We’ll be out driving, for some reason we’ll reflect on the latest Funky Winkerbean, the sheer tedium of it all will make us fall asleep at the wheel and we’ll die in a fiery crash.
I guess to give him credit, that’s one way to handle criticism.
Withering Heights: harridan is a great description of Becky’s mother
“How were these turkeys raised? Catholic, of course. Now just buy it – or better yet, TAKE the fucking thing! Got comic books to read and skateboards to ride. And quite frankly, I’m tired of delivering these goddam retarded lines Bat Hole wrote for me.”
That’s why i come here. Every day beanie, thediva, TFH… someone makes the punchline that really works in Batiuk’s sad gallery of despair and bad timing.
I’m beginning to wonder how to create a fully-crowdsourced comic strip. Something like “Dysfunctional Family Circus” maybe? Pluggers? Well no, not that…
Ponytail: “How were the turkeys raised?”
Owen: “Well, the entire community chipped in to give them a decent education and a good home, but then they had to go and lose their heads!”
Ponytail: “….”
Owen: “….”
Ponytail: *snerk* “Okay, that was actually sort of funny. Have a buck.”
Owen: “Thanks!”
Owen is just practicing up for next year when he goes to Kent State and is the team manager for the women’s basketball team, a job he takes because he’s madly in love with Summer Moore. He has to practice ‘making a sale’ if he’s to ever bed Summer.
How was this turkey raised? Well, it was conceived in the back of a van but adopted and raised by a loving but geeky couple.
Actually, how the turkey was “raised” becomes a moot point after some chullo headed dickface carries it around the neighborhood all afternoon after thawing. It could have been sent to the finest boarding schools in Connecticut, then graduated Summa Cum Laude from Harvard. It’s now a rancid, bacteria laden bird, and if you eat it, you will die.
Which is exactly the sort of thing Battyboy’s masturbational fantasies are based on.
You know given that Becky usually does this sort of thing..how the turkey’s were raised is not that out of place a question.