…asked nobody, anywhere, ever. Except, of course, in the Funkiverse, where who wouldn’t want to work in a comics shop? Screw the postal service, with their generous salary and benefits! If I can’t be Tarzan, why, this job suits me just fine!
Jason
December 18, 2012 at 8:09 pm
…is Harry trying to sell a comic book to Sarah Palin?
I think with the mousy brown hair with the unruly lock in the front, she looks more than a little like Susan…speaking of missing characters whom we wouldn’t mind seeing again.
Contest update!
I wish I could be like Oprah and say “You get a mug! And you get a mug! And…” but failing that, I’m happy to announce that our own Merry Pookster wins the coveted mug from the official Funky Winkerbean CafePress store! Thanks to everyone who commented!
I wish I could be like Oprah and say “You get a mug! And you get a mug! And…” but failing that, I’m happy to announce that our own Merry Pookster wins the coveted mug from the official Funky Winkerbean CafePress store! Thanks to everyone who commented!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Oh, you kids, with your crazy “eastern time”. In my day, midnight was midnight, and contests ended at midnight!
You’re just stalling so you can keep commenting until your silly “eastern midnight” rolls around.
I’m not sure what’s going on with Crazy Harry’s mouth in panel three, but it is not natural. It looks like someone tried to give him a Glasgow smile, botched up the job and gave up halfway through.
From the 1/4″ Desk:
Comic Book sales gross about 40%…and new Marvel issues are $3.99.
So that is $1.60 per sale, .
Sell 1,000 comic books and DSH has tidy $1600.00..oh and minus shipping-rent-utilities, wages, SSI and other overhead expenses.
Just saying…..
Oh man. I’m trying to envision a scenario where an adult male would tell an adult female that his “dream” was to “be Tarzan”, but I’m just not that imaginative. I’m also having a tough time figuring out if Purple Jacket Woman is “zinging” Harry there in panel one or whether she’s serious in that Westviewian “exists strictly to set up punchline” kind of way. sadly it’s most likely the latter.
All I do know for sure is that this arc is wildly unrealistic in one indisputable way: this many women would never frequent a real comic book store in one week, especially not one as creepy as the Korner.
TheDiva: Or a Glasgow smirk.
Come on, Crazy. If you’re going to tell the woman something absolutely insane like being Tarzan is your dream, you at least owe it to her to stoop over, run around on all fours and jump out the window, making ooking noises vaguely reminiscent of the feral boy in The Road Warrior.
Batiuk botched the punchline, however, because it’s obviously supposed to be the woman responding to that with “And my dream is to have a good thermos!”
Btw, how is the actual punchline a punchline? Of course it’s your job, you stupid asshole. What, did you think she might have thought you just wandered in here off the street to ring her up at the register?
Woah, I’m an idiot. It was already midnight EST. I just assumed the contest hadn’t ended yet.
Also: from now on, I will greet every random clerk with: “Has working on a (whatever) store always been your dream?”
Also: from now on, I will greet every random clerk with: “Has working on a (whatever) store always been your dream?”
Just don’t try that stuff with wait staff! You don’t want your Outback Cheese Fries served with a little something extra…
I have to hand it to Batom Inc. (or should I say, I stand in line?) – just when I think this story line has reached its nadir, it finds a way to keep plunging downward.
Jeez, that’s two days in a row I forgot to include a link to the strip!
Congrats to Merry Pookster for winning the SoSF giveaway. And a belated congratualtions to TFH for the 1000th post. (Don’t know how I missed entering yesterday, but like they say about the lottery – you have to play to win).
I remain fascinated about the economic model that supports the town of Westview. It seems that everybody either works at the high school, a pizza place or a book (not any book, but comic only) store. And everyone thrives. I guess John Keynes got it wrong after all.
I immediately interpreted the woman’s question as sarcasm after dealing with Crazy’s creepy and awkward “salesmanship.” There was a line in Breakfast Club when the smartass kid asked the janitor how one BECOMES a janitor. The janitor was smart enough to put the kid in his place. Crazy responds that he wanted to
have sex withbe Tarzan.Yeesh. BatYucky aims for “sentimental and endearing” but hits “creepy and demented.” If he had said fireman, astronaut, or even cowboy, I’d take it. Not a lot of job openings in the Tarzan field.
And how contrived can you get? Nobody would ask this question out of the blue, unless Crazy had been rambling on about how thrilled he was to be there while trying to make the sale. Did you see that? I didn’t. Way to force it like a constipated poop, Batty.
Alice Cooper: It probably goes without saying that any form of “smile” in the Funkyverse would be mangled beyond all recognition.
By the way, I also thought the customer might have been Station Wagon Susan is disguise, maybe poking around Wankerview looking for Les, maybe trying to figure if he was “back on the market.” (My advice: Stick around, Susan.)
Then I realized that Batdroppings could draw only three kinds of women: fat, homely, and Susan.
As for Sarah Palin jokes, what, have all the Dan Quayle jokes been used up? Still might even be able to lay hands on some Nixon jokes on eBay. Christ.
Creepy creepy. And speaking of which, I whipped up this thing. Unfortunately, I wanted Funky to have “look of horror” on the last panel, but it didn’t end looking like I wanted. I like the first panel, though.
IF TB is going to continue to insist on drawing Crazy with that Corythosaurus tuft of hair rising above his forehead, then I’m going to have to imagine this is a storyline about Denver The Last Dinosaur working in a comic book store.
[img]http://billytheskink.com/fwdenver.PNG[/img]
It makes the story a little more realistic, I think.
Congratulations, Merry Pookster! Let us know if drinking from that thing gives you a permanent smirk.
Excellent work, Señor Tortilla. But would Flunky be horrified, or would he just dimple-smirk knowingly? I mean, he’s gotta know what’s going on up there. Shit, Batyuck is the only one who doesn’t know Skunk Head is intensely creepy. Even his characters know!
Oh My… I wish to that all the those who made this special moment possible:
Al Capp, Ernie Bushmiller, Walt Kelly, Chic Young, Berkeley Breathed, Bill Watterson, Ned Riddle, Short & Whipple, Gary Trudeau, George Herriman, Rudolph Dirks….. These all set the comic strip standard that TB has failed to even be mentioned in the same company.
Yes… I do put bourbon in my coffee mugs.
This would have been better had Batominc been trolling for recognition. It would also explain all the lopsided smirks in this strip.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/pGxwH.jpg?1[/img]
She: Harry, why don’t you shave that beard? It makes you look so old!
He: Well, I have to keep it, to hide my problem. Bell’s palsy!
Quote: But would Flunky be horrified, or would he just dimple-smirk knowingly? I mean, he’s gotta know what’s going on up there. Shit, Batyuck is the only one who doesn’t know Skunk Head is intensely creepy. Even his characters know!
I’m sure that Funky knows of DSH’s vices. But while Funky believes it’s only porn, DSH enjoys a twisted mix of bunch of other things best left unsaid. Let’s just say it would horrify the author of the “Shades of Grey” series.
Gut ripping laughter for the Bell’s Palsy sendup.
Is Harry’s horrifically misshapen facial contortion meant to indicate pride and pleasure in his job?! Strange how he never exhibited any such tendencies while toiling away at the gig he’d hoped to make his “life’s work”! Maybe that’s why he was fired-laid off-retired-cast adrift on an ice floe!
TB forgot how to draw smiles years ago. But now, judging from Crazy’s bizarre facial contortions lately, it appears TB’s forgotten how to draw smirks as well. FW without smirks is like Mary Worth without platitudes!
Woman: “Has working in a comics shop always been your dream?”
Harry: “No, m-”
Woman: “Last night I had a dream that my hair turned into squid tentacles, covered with blinking eyeballs!”
Harry: “…*…um…”
Woman: “But that hasn’t always been my dream. I used to dream about aliens. Freaky, big-eyed aliens. Like the one they used to have on that book by whatshisname?”
Harry: “I d-”
Woman: “Superman is an alien, isn’t he? But he looks human! What’s up with that? Would we still like Superman if he had big eyes?”
Harry: “Listen, I-”
Woman: “Say, Superman and the Doctor are both aliens who look human…and Mister Spock just has pointy ears…is there a connection? Hmmm? Do you know?”
Harry: “AAAAARGHH!”
**********************
Sometimes, I can’t help but wish the tables would turn.
I’ve thrown a few ideas out there re: “re-booting” FW in the past. So how about just making this thing all about comic books, every day? Few would notice or care, it’d be too obscure and boring to snark on and it’d give comic book geeks an actual comic strip of their very own. Win-win for everyone. Hell, it’s pretty much going in that direction anyway, right?
Epicus — Setting the strip in a collection of stores and apartments (Montoni’s, Comix Corner, and Darin&Jessica’s) with a sitcom-lite premise and lots of nerd-centric humor? That could work. Of course this almost guarantees that the strip will return to insufferable Les, Owen and Cody at Westview High for the next 4 months.
Now that i think about it, there is a webcomic on that: The Rack, “a comic strip about a comic shop.” Not great but what are ya gonna do..
The thing is, comic book stores have gotten an incredibly bad reputation (especially ones that sell single issues and the like). You want to see the only place I knew that was a small comic book store and sold other things like trading cards?
This place…and yes, it was as sketchy on the inside too. Ratty carpeting, mysterious backrooms…
The worse part is, T.B. almost plays it straight. Let’s not mince words–DSH John definitely looks the part. What’s missing is this dark undertone about DSH John that suggests something bad.
Sorry if i sounded critical in my previous comment about “The Rack:” it was something i used to read along with the blog of the writer/creator which i haven’t kept up with for a while (hence my rather late reminder of a strip that echoes what Funky has been aspiring to for the last few weeks). In my effort to be not overly enthusiastic i appear to be overly dismissive, so let me just say it is a well-done strip that is still appearing/being updated, and if you are interested in the humor to be derived from working in a comics shop it is something you may enjoy.