Withering Heights
January 18, 2013 at 5:00 pm
…[H]ospital treatment is nothing like day-to-day business at, say, a pizza joint. Things do not happen on the patient’s schedule, and there is much less certainty than, “Hey, I thought I said no anchovies!” So Batominc actually has the patient’s and the family’s point of view down.
And I guess that’s what’s happening today, as the neurosurgeon updates Ann and Darin on Fred’s status. Barring any glaring errors such as Pmc commented on yesterday, the surgeon’s summary to me sounds fairly straightforward and jargon-free. Certainly, a former high school teacher would be able to make sense of it. We’ll give Ann a break since she’s obviously under stress.
“So there’s going to be some residual aphasia,” says the doctor with complete certainty, prognosticating before his patient has even regained consciousness. Apologies to the three of you readers who picked “Survives, eventually makes full recovery” in this week’s poll. The Wikipedia defines aphasia as “the disturbance in formulation and comprehension of language.” Which equals, you guessed it: “Boxcar!” Pure comedy gold. Can’t wait for a frustrated Darin to yell at Ann, “Is he crazy?”
Son of Stuck Funky 
Given Batboy’s indifference to his own characters/timeline, etc. I half expected todays strip to feature a hale and hearty Fred running in a marathon- or perhaps competing in the Annual Westview Spelling Bee…
“Never mind your inpenetrable medical jargon and mumbo-jumbo, college boy! Answer me: will my beloved Fred ever be able to make that stupid joke about “helping with the delivery” again? Will he remember where our old apartment in the seedy side of town was? OK, that’s about it, no further questions.”
I was understanding it till Doc got to TPA. I would’ve ask him more about it. I’ve never heard of it. I would not have waited for him finish talking and said a snarky response. And she had to blurt out a punchline yesterday, too.
So Jessica decided to go back to being a “roomie” because she is no where in sight .
Maybe she was just going to follow Durwood but got lost and ended up at the KSU women’s games yesterday…. oh BTW they “lost” again.
Kent State (2-15, 0-4) put on a huge first-half comeback but it was still a 59-44 loss at Ball State.
Well, now we know why Fred and Ann got a starring turn showing off all the old neighborhoods after the Wedding of the Century. Because Batiuk needed the readers to understand which character was being afflicted next.
It’s a safe bet the creator had a family member suffer a stroke about 12 months ago, that’s his muse.
Hat tip to Andrew from yesterthread…Worst 5 Comics of 2012. You’ll never guess who made number 1!
“Never mind that! Will this strip ever be funny, poignant, or interesting again? Or will Tom Batiuk wish us into the cornfield?”
Ann: “You evil, stupid Doctors with your JARGON and MEDICINE! Where’s Les Moore when you need him? My adopted son’s step father is a better man than you’ll ever be!”
Darin: “Um, c’mon Mom, let’s go home and get some re-”
Ann: “I saved the sports! I made my girls play every day, even if they slipped on a fishstick! I used to work in a lighthouse where kids were abused! And. It. Was. Funny!”
Darin: “…Mom…”
Ann: “I’m Mrs. Ann Eight-Track Fairgood, Young Man! Remember that! REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111ONE!”
Doctor: “Also, he’ll need to be treated with kindness and understanding.”
Darin: “Certainly.”
Ann: “KISS MY @$$, DOCTOR NO-NOTHING!!!”
*****************************************
Meanwhile, back at home…
Jess: “Hmmm? Oh, no Les. Darin can’t come over to watch Lisa’s VHS tape for if an adopted parent has a stroke. ….*…YES, REALLY.”
Fred going to be crankshit of funky town with his mixing up words, hurray arn’t we lucky ?
When this happened in FOOB, it was depressing, insensitive, occasionally used as set-up for cutesy puns.
Good thing Funky Winkerbean is never like that!
“Residual Aphasia” – Another great name for a rock band. So is this the MOTHER of the lady who lead Slumber’s Lady She-Goats girls basketball team to the World Championship over the Marfan Lady Woman’s Mammoths, led by “big girl” Brandy Bowleg? BatHole aged her another 15 years. Sounds like she has a blockage in the part of the brain that understands simple explanations.
Hope you aren’t allergic to dairy, because BatHump is going to milk this for all it’s worth. BOXCAR!! %#&!$%#!!!
I get now…I really do. Fred and Ann were happy, so God (TB) strikes them down proving that … “endings have to be earned.” Summer was a star in her high school, but now she’s a bench warmer in college because she hasn’t earned her ending yet (which will probably be bone cancer in her leg requiring amputation).
*shakes head* Ann and Fred will probably earn their ultimate ending as a murder-suicide.
Why do I continue to read this stuff?
OMG, I’m the lead-in quote! Squee!
And Batominc earns another “Really‽” from me. Really. He’s cribbing from Lynn Johnston. ¼ inch, my buttocks!
@Señor Tortilla (yesterthread) asks: “On a side note, what are those weird question marks?”
Those are interrobangs.
Lots of swearing, calling Fishstick Annie by old girlfriends’ names, and revealing secrets about the child molester at the youth center – comedy gold just waiting to be mined.
Good strategy Fishstick Annie! Vascular surgeons just love it when people are smart asses with them. Fred’s bound to get the best care possible now, I just know it.
Just more of BatHack’s 1/4 mile from reality. Is it too early to vote for the worst comic of 2013 yet?
Back to the post office bombing conversation from yesterday for a bit. Les’s answer that “education is the answer to everything” is shorthand for “spirit crushing property taxes on these Westview shitholes is the path to world peace.”
That doctor looks too much like Les (with an especially creepy mustache) for me to be comfortable with.
Ann’s upset and worried for her husband of I-don’t-know-how-many years, but not so much so that she can’t bitterly snipe at people who are trying to help her.
If I were the doctor, I’d explain it with a condescending puppet show. “And the TPA fairy said, ‘I will wave my magic wand and make the blockage go away!’ But the evil Clotty said, ‘That’s what you think! I will sit right on Fred’s speech center and make sure he never speaks clearly again! His wife will never know the difference! Haw haw haw!'”
Ha ha, doctors speak in fancy medical jargon to justify their outrageous fees! That joke’s never been done before: *smirk!* Why give the doctor a funny look? Just turn around and ask Darin — I’m sure he has an app for that.
I’ve recently started reading J.K. Rowling’s first non-Harry-Potter novel, “The Casual Vacancy.” The book starts with a character suddenly dying of an aneurysm, then explores the effect his death has on the community. In one early scene, a nurse (Ruth) and her husband Simon (a very crude man) are having breakfast with their children (Andrew and Paul) as she explains to Simon what an aneurysm is:
“What’s ananeurysm?”
“An. Aneurysm. A burst artery in the brain.”
…
“Couldn’t they do anything for him?” asked Simon. “Couldn’t they plug it up?”
He sounded frustrated, as though the medical profession had, yet again, bungled the business by refusing to do the simple and obvious thing.
Andrew thrilled with savage pleasure. He had noticed lately that his father had develeoped a habit of countering his mother’s use of medical terms with crude, ignorant suggestions. Cerebral hemorrhage. Plug it up.
Somehow, I get the feeling that Batiuk would read this chapter and be on Simon’s side…
The most disturbing thing to me is that Tom thinks -this- world of cold, passive, bitter smirkers is “a quarter-inch-removed from reality.”
Is this all he gets out of real life? Nothing but pain, dullness, and mean-spirited sniping?
The very authors (and I use the term LOOSELY in Tom’s case) who feel that promising the Moon is only setting readers up for disappointment fail to realize that promising readers only a quarter-way, dreary, dim almost-average measure is hardly likely to inspire much of anything in them.
A 1/16th response at most, because nobody sane actually WANTS that sort of garbage.
Yes, bad things happen. Constantly. All the time. Unrelentingly.
But to see that as the only realistic outcome is to deny everything good, loving, forward-thinking and admirable about humanity.
Which may be the real reason Les is his favorite character. A passive-aggresive self-loving sentimental “creative genius” who is ultimately sensitive only to his own pain. Whose rewards in life all just sort of happened. Who actively resists enjoying any of them in the belief the Universe itself will snatch them away.
This is what he sees as wisdom? This is what he sees as reality?!?
I swear, I think we’re better off not knowing the true motives behind Tom’s current arcs and themes. I get the feeling he has no true connection to his creative powers anymore. And he’s taking out his unspoken frustration at this on us, the reader. : P
I’m calling it now: Tom is one of those people who feel the way to help a kid dealing with his parent’s divorce is to give them a copy of ETHAN FROME and say “Hurts, doesn’t it?”
TFH: Great title today…you never fail to come up with something, regardless of how crappy the source material may be.
Note to all snarkers: Please stop posting FBOFW strips…I’m begging you. It just brings back too many unpleasant memories. I’ve spent the last ten years forgetting that thing ever existed.
Epicus, did I post a FooB strip? Sorry. Sometimes I get confused about which one I’m reading. Are they the same strip? No wait, one takes place in Canaduh and the other in Ahia. But they’re both written by the same 60-something year old woman, right?
I am still kind of surprised that Batom Inc. is cribbing off of Lynn Johnston. It’s easy to see that his creative well has LONG run dry, but…really?
I’ve mentioned this before but “back in the day” our local newspaper ran FW & FWOFW RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER! It was a deadly one-two sucker punch of bad melodrama, depressing developments and annoying preachiness. That newspaper editor must have had a really twisted sense of humor, or maybe they just preferred to group all the misery porn together.
I disliked the insensitive-medical-professional-jargon-inflicted-on-distressed-family-members trope when it appeared in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” But BtVS ultimately lead up to the episode “The Body,” which I consider one of the greatest moments in television, so I am willing to forgive the previous use of the cliche. I doubt that Batiuk will pull off anything redeeming. He tackles “serious topics,” he surely does; and why do I think a newspaper cartoonist should have anything worthwhile or edifying to say about these subjects? More to the point, why does he?
@John, 1:17 post – this is the best analysis yet of why FW is a failure. The author has no insight into the human condition, or the means by which ordinary humans cope with it.
John,
FW is “sinners in the hands of an angry cartoonist.”
If your doctor is still wearing a pornstache and Heinricj Himmler glasses- RUN!!!!