Buckets of Lame

Linda is on a roll this week, isn’t she, folks? Apparently, since Sum’ Mo’ and Special K moved up to Kent State (currently 3-23), the Lady Scapegoats have reverted to their own losing ways. Linda comes out with yet another idiotic idiom that no one’s ever used. Cayla gamely provides the straight line here, trying to make sense of what Linda means by “empty the bucket time”.  I was kinda hoping she meant the old Harlem Globetrotters bit…now that’s funny!


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24 responses to “Buckets of Lame

  1. S.P. Charles

    So Cayla has to be told what this means even though she was a high school athlete, and her daughter was a star basketball player for at least the past 4 years?

  2. S.P. Charles

    Am I correct that Les hasn’t spoken a word all week?

    I’m guessing Cayla finally got tired of his smirky pontificating and ripped his tongue out.

  3. Evidently I’ve found favor in the eyes of the Lord. I can’t get it to load.

  4. Helskor

    “…and the water is full of cholera germs, but most of the players contract pneumonia and die before the cholera can kill them and the point guard slips on the water, hits her head and gets permanent brain damage and has to give up her basketball scholarship and has to bus tables at Montoni’s instead until she dies of tetanus poisoning from a dirty fork and her parents stick their heads in a gas oven in despair and their house blows up and kills everyone on their block and…”

  5. Beanie Wanker

    Linda McBadhair is keeping up quite the snappy running commentary on this high school girls basketball game. Somebody needs to remind her it’s barely a sport, at least one not nearly interesting enough to watch or comment on.

    She’s quite the wordsmith. Isn’t she the one who told us last season that Brandy Bowleg was “a big girl?” Maybe SHE wants to be a sports “writer” too. As a math teacher, she can tell us what the uniform numbers add up to. That would be interesting. More interesting than reading about high school girls basketball, anyway.

    Raise your hand if you thought “bucket” was going to be a pun about the basket, aka hoop. Yeah, me too. BatSports probably didn’t realize that was an option.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Actually, someone needs to throw a bucket of ice water (or rocks) in the face of whomever is responsible for agreeing to continue to pay for the “right” to syndicate comic strip content this feeble, stupid and just plain bad. Whoever that person and/or persons might be, they’re either confused and think FW is actually something else entirely or they’re clearly the victim of some sort of sick, twisted extortion/blackmail-based scam. Otherwise there’s simply no other way to explain this comic strip’s continued existence.

    This one is pretty obviously an old “outtake”, probably from last year’s big basketball arc, where BatFraud has simply (nod to Beckoning Chasm) filled in the word balloons with any random dialog that would fit. Third arc of the year and he’s plumb out of ideas already. Again. Just remarkable.

  7. Smirks 'R Us

    I think I see the Lady Scapegoats problem. Instead of youthful, energetic high school students, they have been using lunch ladies or school secretaries like the clearly exhausted dark haired gal in p2. Of course she’s exhausted, she’s 60! It’s called “drawing” Bathack. Nice job. And just stop with the lame Linda jokes already. The p2 Cayla setup dialog has been particularly awful this week, even by your lofty standards.

  8. BeckoningChasm

    @SP Charles – Les had to explain a joke in Monday’s strip. Other than that, yeah, oddly silent, like Banquo in his chair.

    A better question would be, why is Les even here? Linda could have explained her joke just as easily as Les. Les has contributed nothing all week.

    I think Tom Batiuk was just going through withdrawal, and just had to shoe-horn Les in somewhere to keep the shakes at bay.

  9. Sgt Saunders

    I have this theory. Rather, my analyst, Dr. Chomsky has this theory that BatCo, Inc. has us all known and digitally tracked so that he draws one excruciatingly bad strip for us – the only one we can access – and another, more benign strip for all the BatFappers to mount on their refrigerators. Poor Doc, he’s groping for sanity in an insane world where people heap praise on just the type of maddening nonsense as is served up by BatCo, Inc. today. “Empty the Bucket.” Right. More like “Scrape the Bottom of the Barrel.”

  10. Anyone else get the impression that Westview’s perennially failing sports teams (The Glory of Summer excepted) is just another example of Batiuk’s exacting petty revenge? “The jocks were all mean to me in high school! In my strip, the jocks will all be dumb losers and the band will be awesome and win everything! That’ll show ’em!”

  11. billytheskink

    I’m half-surprised the poor dark-haired girl sporting an expression best described as “Westview” there in the middle of panel 2 didn’t make her way into the title banner.

    She’s possibly the best example of the Westview expression since the downtrodden hoodie kid who used to be the permanent fixture in the original Stuck Funky title banner.

  12. bobanero

    When I first read this strip, I also thought of the old Harlem Globetrotter’s gag. But after thinking about it more, I’m feeling more like Mr Creosote in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life:

    Maître d’: Ah, good afternoon, sir; and how are we today?

    Mr. Creosote: Better.

    Maître d’: Better?

    Mr. Creosote: Better get a bucket, I’m gonna throw up.

  13. Continuity errors in movies are easy to explain: for practical reasons, they are shot out of sequence. Now let’s have a beady-eyed nitpick at panels 1 & 2.

    Once again, the Cheshire teen next to Cayla appears and disappears. In front of Les, a blond boy in a blue shirt instantaneously morphs into a completely different curly brown-haired guy in a green shirt.

    It’s attention to detail like this that keeps the Pulitzer noms a-coming by the bucketful.

  14. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$

    Panel 1 – Jesus Christ, is this the second o0r third straight strip to start with a morbid phrase based pun???

    Panel 2.. First Kerrie inappropriately touching Darrin…now Bull is practically sniffing that poor girls hair. Space issues, people!!!

    Panel 3 – I literally had to read that sentence six times to figure out what Linda meant….and I still don’t know what the hell she means!!!!

  15. Jimmy

    Buckets of Lame makes me think of “Box of Rain“. I prefer that song to this comic strip any day.

    Also, don’t you think it’s time to update the Les-o-Meter?

  16. Jimmy

    Wait, I think I was reading the Les counter incorrectly. Does this mean something terrible (i.e. good for Les) is bound to happen in April?

  17. Charles

    Mocking the art…

    Second panel, dark haired white girl. Yeah, that’s a high school basketball player. Sure.

    Two, wasn’t Bull retconned into an actual NFL OLine prospect, who got contacted by the Cardinals? And yet there he is, being towered over by a high school girl. Either he was the shortest OLine prospect in NFL history or that girl is over 6’6.

    Oh well, at least Cayla’s role as the person who feeds whoever’s talking the straight lines, even when it makes her look stupid, has remained consistent. Too bad she has no other personality.

  18. Duane

    Why can’t Les, Crayola, and Linda go to track meets instead of girl’s basketball games? At least at a track meet, Les might get gored by a javelin.

  19. Merry Pookster

    Tom Batyuck has truly created a miserable place to live.
    Meanwhile Al Capp’s “Dog Patch” seems like it was a sophisticated social center of high intellect and lovable characters.

  20. John

    Cayla: “So, um, Les…I kind of thought now that you and I are married and our daughters are at college…well…I thought that our ‘Date Nights’ would get a little more…special.”

    Les: “What? Don’t I take you to Montoni’s after every single one of these games?!?”

    Cayla: “…um…yeah…about that…”

    Linda: “….cold water…it comes from drinking fountains….”

  21. BeckoningChasm

    I think “Buckets of Rain” is a Dylan song, but I’m not sure.

    I’ve figured out why Les has been silent this week. See, it shows how he, and only he is the only one actually watching the girls play. He, and only he is the only one who takes their athletic endeavors seriously enough to pay close attention, without trying to assert superiority via smirk. He, and only he is the only one who truly cares about the team. He thus proves his superiority to all around him, without so much as a word to sully his god-like air.

    If you’ll pardon me, I’m going to go give a technicolor yawn.

  22. jp

    *Buckets of Rain* is indeed an old Dylan song. And though it’s prolly been thirty-five years since I’ve heard it…(without resorting to teh Google)
    Buckets of rain, buckets of tears
    got all them buckets coming out of my ears
    Buckets of moonbeams, in my hands.
    You’ve got all the love, honey baby, I can stand.
    (I was such a Dylan geek in high school!)

  23. Beanie Wanker

    I think it’s interesting that BatTick made such a big flowery fuss about Slumber and Qaranameesha getting full girls woman’s ladies basketball scholarships to K*nt State, but has all but ignored them since they started school last October (!). He showed one K*nt State game, and these two schmos were keeping the bench warm.

    But now we’re seeing the current collection of Wankerview misfits for an entire week (plus)? I wonder if this week’s hastily prepared dreckfest was a last minute substitution for a scrapped K*nt arc, owing to miserably awful performance by this year’s real K*nts.

    I bet Ponytail Tommy sometimes kicks himself (or has his pet bear, Ayrhead, kick him) for sending the two lovers to a “real” school instead of some made up Ahia school. I mean, if it were a fake school, he could have the two freshmen be the stars of a team that’s tearing up the league. The WLNBA would be tracking their every move from Day One. How can he feature them, playing for the college girls basketball equivalent of the ’62 Mets?

    Really painted yourself into a corner with that, eh, Batwrite?

  24. Jimmy

    I learned something today. I actually saw Bob Dylan perform two or three times (once with the Dead), and I don’t even like Bob Dylan.

    Guess I should have known the reference.