Just back from a business trip and frankly cannot muster the energy to snark on today’s strip…have at it!
Filed under Uncategorized
Tagged as basketball, bricks, Bull, Cayla, Les, Linda
Not sure about Ohio, but here in Wisconsin the grass is not green this time of year.
Also, how far away did they park? It’s daytime in the first panel, and nightime in the second.
The time lapse is due to Bull having to clean up the gym. You know, pick all the gum off the bottom of the bleacher seats, fold the bleachers away, scour the locker room. Budget cuts are ruining his life!
Unless Crayola is a lot younger than Goatee Boy (eww), not much chance of her squeezing one out. But I wouldn’t be surprised if this whole idiotic girls women’s Lady Nannygoats basketball episode was a drawn out setup to start a “let’s have kids” discussion between Not-So-Ebony and Ivory.
If she did have a kid, it would probably look a lot like Principal Nate. Just sayin’. And it better be a girl if it wants to play sports. No boys sports in this town, apparently.
So did Bull grow a foot taller, become 20 years younger, and lose 50 pounds for the last panel? And did his blubber transfer to Goatee Boy?? Solid work, BatArt.
If they did try to have a kid at their age, there’d be a greater risk for the poor thing to have birth defects (which would no doubt please Batiuk no end), or even worse, have Les’s looks and Cayla’s personality.
Neither of the girls is a product of the two of them together, so odds are any hell-spawn will not be able to help out Bull. Since he can’t show them playing for Westview anymore, I guess each new basketball season will be filled with the people lamenting they are no longer there. God forbid TB doesn’t run a story arc about girl’s basketball every winter. Next up, outdoor band practice/Wally washing dishes at Montoni’s with his therapy dog.
Perfect timing….. Les and Crayola pop a kid and by the time she/he plays BB at Westview,Summer will be outta ksu and on staff there.
Les do another time warp again.
You know that episode of The Simpsons where Homer voices a despised cartoon dog named Poochie, and his suggestions for improving the character include “Whenever Poochie’s not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking ‘Where’s Poochie?'” This is what it would look like when that line of thinking is put into practice.
By “ponies” Bull of course means Miller High Life in the Pony bottles, and, apparently, in a quanity sufficient to dull his senses to the point where he doesn’t know he’s coaching a girls’ basketball team in Westview and can therefore keep a shred of athletic dignity.
Miller in the Pony Bottle? Have one. Or several.
TheDiva: Holy cow, I had the exact same thought upon reading this….uh, “comic” strip. “Where’s Summer?”. Hopefully Summer dies on the way back to her home planet.
I will tell you this: if Les & Cayla have a child (ugh) I’m on the first reasonably-priced bus to Ohio with a five gallon can of gasoline and a box of matches.
Batiuk interviewed by the North Ridgeville (Ohio) Press.
NRP: Is Les Moore your alter ego?
TB: Yeah, probably.
NRP: Is Les Moore your alter ego?
TB: Yeah, probably.
TB also shares his (dismissive) opinion of the Comics Curmudgeon.
I don’t know what to make of this quote:
“So I aged the characters, and they are in their young adult life […]”
“Are,” not “were.” Are these obese, balding, gray-haired folks supposed to be “young adults”? Or is this canned chatter that he trots out for every interview?
Note, too, that the “about this comic” still shows the Act II cast. Maybe in his mind that’s when the strip ended. Maybe Tom Batiuk ceased having anything to do with Funky when Act III began, and we’ve been disparaging the wrong person’s work this whole time.
NRP: Do you read the Comics Curmudgeon blog? (The blog is excessively snarky and continually takes Batiuk and “Funky Winkerbean” to task.)
TB: I don’t pay attention. I’ve got a lot of things to do; I’m pretty busy working and I really don’t pay attention to those things.
Oh, heeyeah, RIGHT. Who are ya kidding, Tommy Boy? Mister Touchy? Mister Sensitive? Mister Cease and Desist?
Everyone knows he lurks here and on Josh’s site. And I’d bet the kids’ tuition for K*nt State that more than one wall has been punched and more than one cat has been kicked following a good healthy skewering at the hands of those who comment about his dreck. This is a guy who has his lawyers on speed-dial, lest someone offend the mighty board of directors at Batom, Inc Worldwide Corporate Headquarters.
Another belly laugh from:
NRP: What’s your cure for writer’s block?
TB: Don’t know (chuckling). I’ve been very lucky. I don’t know, I’m just one of those lucky people, writing is very easy for me, so it hasn’t come up. It never really comes up unless somebody asks me about it.
People who get writer’s block are different from Swishy Tom. They have some kind of filter that prevents them from writing the first piece of nonsensical bullcrap that pops into their head. If you’ve read Wankerbean at all in the past several years, you know he has no such filter. “Yeah, I have no problem with writer’s block — NOTHING stops me from writing whatever thought pops into my pointy, ponytailed little head. Ever. It’s called writing. If you’re not a syndicated cartoonist, you wouldn’t understand.”
It was kinda cool the way the interviewer slipped Comics Curmudgeon into the interview. Probably would have been followed by a Baba Booey reference if Tomahack didn’t briskly walk away at that point.
Actually, Beckoning, if there’s one thing newspaper interviews with Nationally Syndicated Cartoonists has taught me, it’s that they -love- screwing with the interviewers. See, they know that no normal person actually pays attention to the funnies these days. Not really. So they feel free to make up all kinds of spurious crud, because they know the typical journalist doing a fluff piece on a comic strip will NEVER fact check, EVER.
Just look over at For Better or For Worse. Over the years, as Lynn’s been asked (for instance) on why she made Lawrence gay, her answers have gotten more bizarre and outrageous.
At first, it was because her RL former brother-in-law is gay.
Then, she claimed a cousin died of AIDS and the only thing people talked bout at the funeral was that he was gay.
THEN it became her ode to a FBoFW gay teen fan who’d corresponded with her who died of AIDS.
Then it was based on concern over the murder of a gay man.
THEN it was because she personally witnessed a “gay-lynching”.
Different, contradictory explanations, all. But she -never- gets called on it, except in the tiny niche community that still CARES about this outdated horse n’ buggy entertainment form!
So, yeah, Tom just spews out whatever phony baloney he feels like! He knows most people aren’t even sure which character IS “Funky Winkerbean”, let alone the current state of their lives.
Oh, the cushy job of an aging, unedited Nationally Syndicated Cartoonist…
On one hand, I find it difficult to believe that BatQuote doesn’t at least glance at the various comic strip snark blogs out there. But, on the other hand, if he is indeed aware of them it certainly hasn’t inspired him to step up his game, as FW has deteriorated quicker than Fred Fairgood during “Act III”. My gut feeling is that he doesn’t give a shit and this is all just an easy (easy, easy) paycheck and nothing more. Or he has a folder full of King’s executives at a Tijuana donkey show or something.
Not buying the “Les as alter-ego” bit 100% either. If that was true he’d never be able to leave the house without risking a severe punching.
I’m pretty sure that Les having offspring is one of the signs of the apocalypse.
If children conceived separately by Les and Cayla can be high school basketball stars, then surely their combined spawn will pop out of the womb ready to lead next season’s team to immediate victory…. At least, that’s what Batiuk expects us to believe that Bull believes. Or am I missing an interpretation that’s even dumber?
All this discussion of Les Moore’s offspring has perforce made me think about Les having sex. So I thought, why should I suffer alone?
John: Exactly, every interview I’ve ever read re: FW made it blatantly obvious that the interviewer not only wasn’t a regular FW reader, they probably had NO IDEA what FW even was going in. They read the usual blurb about “addressing real life issues and etc” and assume it’s some sort of “Doonesbury”-esque kind of thing. If they ever DID read through a few years worth of FW’s (which would take maybe fifteen minutes), their first question would be the same one we’d ask…”how do you sleep at night?” followed by “they pay you HOW much?” .
Listening to Tom Batiuk being interviewed about comic writing is like listening to Idi Amin get interviewed about civil rights.
I used to think 9 Chickweed Lane was the worst comic. It isn’t. Brooke at least attempts humor. Batty has the worst strip – period.
NRP: What do you say to critics who say your work can be depressing or morbid?
TB: There are moments. Lisa died and she did that only one time, so it’s not like she died every day in the strip, so I think it’s a bit of a stretch.
Lisa only died once, you guys. I could have resurrected her and killed her again if I was really morbid, but I’m a glass is half full type.
Yep, and she only got blown up that one time, and her cancer was cruelly misdiagnosed only that one time, and Funky became a suicidal alcoholic only that one time, and Becky only lost one arm that one time, and Wally was a forgotten POW only that one time, and Fred had that stroke only that one time. Man, that Batom is a piece of f*cking work, what a character.
Vowing hideous revenge on Mr Withering Heights for making me visualize Lester having sex. Gaaaaa! I CAN’T UNSEE IT!! Imagining his pubes receding Nixon-like on top, with a goatee underneath. Erkk. To paraphrase Brain-Dead Fred, “HLLLLLLP MEH!!”
I’m sure Les calls out his own name during sex.
I think I’ll try to think about baseball now.
To be honest, I don’t blame TB for not paying attention to a place like The Comics Curmudgeon, if indeed that is the case. I can only imagine that if you let that sort of criticism get in your head, you might lose the trust in yourself as a competent writer that you need to avoid writer’s block. I do find the way he phrased it a little weird, though. He speaks as awkwardly as he writes! Either that or he’s a liar.
BTW: “Lisa died and she only did that one time”? Yeah, sure, Tom, that’s how you explain it. Perhaps if her death and her legacy wasn’t a major portion of the strip’s last ten years I might be willing to buy your horseshit. Lisa’s been dead for nearly six years now (sixteen in your strip time!) and yet her name has popped up all the time every single year since then. It’s like clockwork. If I really got annoyed about that and had enough free time, I’d compile a list of all the semi-major living characters he’s had and compare their number of appearances to “dead-that-one-time” Lisa’s. I’d bet that that dead woman’s had more spoken lines in the last two years than anyone outside the ten most commonly-featured characters.
As for today’s dumb strip, it sort of reminded me about how virtually no one’s had a son in this generation. We have Cory, Funky’s *adopted* son of an absent bio-dad, and Wally, whose appearances are so rare even TB can’t remember how old he’s supposed to be.
Wow. Just wow. I don’t even want to read that interview because it’s probably so full of bullshit that it would want to make me punch a wall. The only thing that’s closest to the truth is Les Moore being Tom Batiuk’s alterego, which I can believe.