If one’s goal in life is to be a writer of comic books, I just can’t imagine what would be a higher pinnacle of success than living and working in Metropolis itself, writing the adventures of Superman! Yep,
working at DC Comics looks like a dream job, all right. Yet Pete still can’t find a woman and he doesn’t know why.
25 thoughts on “Town Without Petey”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
Well, let’s see. You look like you haven’t slept in three days, you’ve barely mustered enough energy to show concern for another person, and while your job as comic writer would be considered cool in some circles (at least in worlds where female geeks are acknowledged to exist), the unbelievably awful sub-Silver Age ideas you churn out would not be. Yeah, you sound like a real catch to me.
Substitute “people” for “women, and this conversation is a near-verbatim replica of one that reportedly occurred between Andrew Lloyd Webber and Alan Jay Lerner. Batiuk is certainly reaching far and wide for sources of plag–er, inspiration.
Isn’t New York famous for its hookers? Of course, it would help if Pete waved around bills larger than the One.
A: They both instantly disliked Pete.
Q: What do women in New York and regular FW readers have in common?
At least with Pete it’s mere dislike. With the ever smirking, always annoying Boy Lisa it’s definitely more like “hate”. Whenever he appears you know you’re in for some epic dullness, evidenced by this week’s snoozer of a video conference which is already a ponderous slag after a mere two days. At least he avoided resorting to another dopey stroke joke, though.
Well, with a face that looks like it kissed a moving subway train, and a personality to match, this is no great surprise. And believe it of not, most women are turned off by a guy standing there with his arm around an underage boy.
Mopey Pete is creepy in Ahia. How the Hell do you THINK he’d be received in NYC?
And as for Boy Lisa — Two days in a row – Christ, what an asshole.
Guess that when Pete moved back to NYC…..the movers forgot the box with the blow up dolls.
If yesterday’s comic weren’t such a crap bomb, I would cut today’s installment some slack. But, no, Batiuk just has to have someone fighting Les for most hateable character.
Tom…. Dude… Just… You don’t know how to do jocular teasing. Just stop right now.
This is why every single one of your characters is an asshole.
He works for DC comics, right? AKA those guys who can’t resist upskirt shots of teenage heroines? Golly, Pete, I can’t imagine why you don’t have babes at your beck and call!
This was stolen from an old episode of M*A*S*H. Except on the show, it was a funny line.
At the risk of sounding obsequious, I laughed out loud when I saw today’s blog post title. I’m still waiting to laugh out loud at Funky Winkerbean.
Given Creepy Pete’s history, I’m suprised the police haven’t taken an instant dislike to him too.
Hey Boy Lisa, I wouldn’t get too cocky. Your wife is probably playing hide the salami with some lawyer from Cleveland.
Meanwhile, Darin has grown a lantern jaw, possibly to impress his comic-book writing buddy.
Diva: At least Silver Age comics were goofy in all the right ways. Most revolved around “Superman’s turned evil” or “Jimmy Olsen has mutated into a 30-foot tall prairie dog” or something like that.
OK, so what is Batiuk implying?
That hot girls don’t go out with guys, because they’re into comics?
I’m no great beauty, but I’m willing to bet that if I was in a bar
and told a women that I draw Superman, one of the most
popular characters in American history…I would definitely be scoring.
If I seem to remember Stan Lee and Jack Kirby used to tell stories of how women were all over them back in the 60’s and 70s because they wrote and drew Spiderman.
Dr Worm: This was stolen from an old episode of M*A*S*H. Except on the show, it was a funny line.
Great catch, Dr! Readers, see for yourself:
I have an absolutely horrible feeling that we’re going to be reintroduced to Chien, who is reintroduced as a “reward” for Mopey Pete being a sadsack loser.
Mopey Pete, the reason why you can’t find a woman, ignoring the obvious reasons, is because you’re not meeting anyone you went to high school with. Only super special Les is allowed to hook up with someone outside his high school class, and that was with the damn secretary at his work, so it’s not as though he really cast his line way out there either.
You can see where this is going. Pete’s woefully single and a new female character was added a month back. Yes, Darrin’s going to set Pete up with his half-sister Kerry, who it will be revealed lives in New York. Pete will get to join the Fairgood family. Poor Pete!
@The Dreamer: interesting theory. I can see this leading to a similar Skype chat a few months from now:
Pete: “Darin, thanks for introducing me to Kerry, we are so in love! I have never been so happy”
Darin (with wry, douchey smirk): “That’s great Pete. I’m just glad you didn’t mind cleaning up my sloppy seconds!”
Snuffy Smith has a trademark of at least one character sticking its tongue out in every strip. I much prefer that over the douchebag smirk trademark in FW.
@ The Dreamer: Luckily for Pete, it won’t connect him to Darin’s bloodline anyway, since Darin is linked to Lisa. Speaking of rampant inbreeding, didn’t I read somewhere that Cory’s real father is also Frankie?
Darin: “So Pete….you told me you write “Superman”…is Grant Morrison your pen name or something?”
Pete: “Oh, yeah, it totally is. I also sometimes go by Neil Gaiman, Brian K. Vaughn, Stan Sakai, Kurt Busiek, Andy Runton, and Gail Simone.”
Darin: “…the last one sounds like a woman’s name.”
Pete: “Don’t be stupid! Comics are for BOYS, not GIRLS!”
Always remember: whatever prediction you make re: future FW plots will inevitably be more entertaining than what will actually happen. It’s the Golden Rule of Act III and if it’s ever violated the entire Funkyverse will implode upon itself in sepia-toned all-black panels with those little corner things. It’s known as “the uneventful horizon”, a point in comic strip space-time so densely packed with despair, ennui and lack of effort that even smirks cannot escape its grasp. Fortunately, there’s little risk of anything entertaining or well-thought out happening in Act III anytime soon, so we’re all safe for now.
The rule is when predicting an FW plotline, the least interesting thing will always be the correct one. It also works with Mary Worth, too. In one storyline, there was a kidnapped girl, and for weeks we hypothesized if “Thugs McKidnapper” was actually her estranged biological father, given that he was taking out to diners instead of murdering her. And he even let her get ice cream!
As always, TF, your subject line makes up for having to read the comic.