Who Cares!?

Let’s start with the assumption that anyone, anywhere even gives a shit about “the nightmares of comic strip artists and writers everywhere.” And Pete: aren’t you a comic book writer? At least in his goofy dreams, the Pro-Crasturbator has found a woman who doesn’t despise him: in fact, she lunges horizontally at Pete and appears to flutter from his neck like a scarf. So pleased with this attention is Pete that the trademark bags under his eye momentarily disappear.

17 thoughts on “Who Cares!?”

  1. OK so what’s her name brings Pete all this way to stop him? Oh yeah its a dream–so it doesn’t have to make sense. Next week maybe we will have Funky appearing naked before the chamber of commerce and it was just a dream.

    Sorry for the visual.

    Oh and FIRST!

  3. Batom Inc. writes his strips one year in advance – hardly the actions of a procrastinator. And as many fine readers have pointed out, the LOTL always inspires Pete to write something stupid, thus conquering his deadline and keeping his job. What I’m saying here is, THIS IS STUPID!

  4. Whatever malaise struck Batyuck a year ago when he wrote this strip… must only be worse today. Oh lord, by next year could there be less coherant strips even?

  5. And Pete: aren’t you a comic book writer?

    Maybe to a hidebound literalist like yourself.

  6. Batiuk really has his finger on the pulse of today’s younger generation. Cracker Jack job, Tommy. Now it’s time for me to 23 skidoo.

  7. Reading these strips is like watching the creepy guy on the bus masturbate and being forced to watch every bit of the action.

  8. I’ve got a feeling that after Pete turns this story into DC he’s gonna become the Amateur-Crastinator.

  9. Guys, I hate to be the one pointing this out, but Pete’s line is actually in keeping as a “procrastinator.” Also, it would be cool if Dale were actually working for TLOTL for precisely this reason. I can’t believe I put any thought into today’s strip, I guess this cold is worse than I thought.

  10. TomBat, when I said “can this strip get any worse?” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

  11. Pete: “Well, when you put it that way, this is the first time I’ve known the touch of a woman in over twenty years!”

    Dale: “….uhm, did I mention I’m actually a genderless android replicant?”

    Pete: “…oh. Are you sure?!? Everyone woman I meet has some excuse! “I’m an android.” “I’m a nun.” “I’m a hermaphrodite.” I’m actually a Reptoid from Planet Draconia!” Yeesh, would it kill one of you gals to break down and date me?”

    Dale: “Yes, it it would, you droopy-faced vat of fail.”

    Pete: “….huh?!?”

    Dale: “I said : Jenkies! Wherever did Flash go?”

    Pete: “HUH?!?”

  13. Forget about nightmares about being late. Battybutt needs to start having nightmares about being a talentless boob.

    Maybe when he’s done here, Supermopey can go resurrect Summer’s basketball career.

  14. Still makes no sense to me why “the Pro-Crastinator” and LOTL would be enemies, seems to me that LOTL is a good “person” for a lazy, sleepy-eyed guy like Pete to know. But whatever, nothing in the Funkyverse ever makes sense to me anyway.

    Wouldn’t it be fun if BatSnooze ever came totally clean during one of those interviews? “Yeah, I have one or two “exciting” things happening this year, but for the other fifty weeks it’ll be the usual cruise-control mode, with tons of boring garbage that goes nowhere fast”. He always makes FW seem a hell of a lot more interesting than it actually is in real life.

  15. @Westview Oncologist: Reading these strips is like watching the creepy guy on the bus masturbate and being forced to watch every bit of the action.

    Yeah, “forced” to watch.

  16. Is there anything about Pete’s little costume that suggests procrastination? It’s just a blue shirt, blue tights, blue gloves, and a blue cape. Sure, it’s festooned with P’s, but come on. How about a little effort? This is a visual medium, after all.

  17. He always makes FW seem a hell of a lot more interesting than it actually is in real life.

    It is pretty weird, and maybe it’s that he has real enthusiasm for it in the conceptual stage, but when he actually gets around to writing it, he’s either no longer excited or he realizes that it’s not as good as he conceived. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with his ideas per se; it’s the execution that’s lacking. They could be interesting, but he writes them in the most desultory, perfunctory way. Les’s wedding could have been a lot more than what it was. Hell, it should have been, but it came across instead as “well damn, I said it was going to happen, so I might as well get around to it I guess.” So we’re stuck with strips about Cayla’s butt and Fred driving through the old neighborhood.

    I also think he alternately (or both) likes his characters too much or has them too locked into the stereotypical role he wants them to play, so they never really grow or reveal anything. That was the thing that struck me when I reread the “Lisa is dying” strips: that he can’t move away from what he idealizes Lisa as in order to see her as a character who can grow or change through her experience, even if it’s negative.

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