I Guess Some Seniors Were Left Behind

TheDiva
March 31, 2013 at 10:27 am

…As a former victim of bullying and a mom who worries what her kids will face in school when they get older, I’m insulted that Batiuk continues to treat this topic as lighthearted fun. On the other hand, I know that any attempt on his part to treat bullying and the tragic consequences thereof with the seriousness it deserves would be infuriating.

Not hard to see where Batiuk’s going with this. Having shortsightedly used up almost his entire new cast of teen characters, he’s pulled misfit goth girl Alex off the bench and retconned her back into a teen. Not only that, she’s the target of bullying, which only only yesterday TB was playing for laughs. And her fellow misfit Owen will be cast in the role of her white knight. Perhaps he and Cody will construct a robot to attack her tormentors.

37 thoughts on “I Guess Some Seniors Were Left Behind”

  2. This has GOT to be an April Fools Day joke!!

    I usually like to give someone the benefit of the doubt, since I know tone is hard to convey in print, but I sensed so much smugness from TB in that last paragraph, that it left me feeling with a “Well fuck you too” feeling!!

    I bust my ass in a factory 40+ hours a week, commute to said job, have an 8 year old daughter and all the stuff that entails and I still have time to read SOSF, so lets not have any of that “I’m very busy” bullshit…”I have my lawyers for that”…GAAH…I just want to piss in his open mouth!!

  3. My Dinner With Funky, abridged:

    Q: What has been the response so far to these (snicker, snort) “classic” strips finally collected in one place?
    A: Many longtime fans have been letting me know how refreshing it is to go back to those more lighthearted strips. I wonder if they’re trying to tell me something? Naaaah.

    Q. So Centerville is sort of like Shelbyville to Westview’s Springfield?
    A. What? I don’t understand that reference. Say something about Fibber McGee and Jungle Jim Toppers, things people have actually heard of.

  4. Q. …of The Complete Funky Winkerbean. What has been the response so far to these classic strips finally collected in one place?

    A. The response really has been great. Many longtime fans have been letting me know how refreshing it is to go back to those more lighthearted strips. For them, it’s like attending a high school reunion.

    Really? Reading the old books are that depressing, eh Tom?

    Today and yesterday’s strip indicates all that sucks about todays FW: Batuik manages to combine the worst of strips where the characters don’t age with the time jump/time loop.

  6. Those neanderthals! They roughed her up so bad, they completely ruined her fishnet stockings! Sheesh, some people!

    I guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out why she’s the target of bullying — for being overweight? the tattoos? the fact that she’s a 40-year old who still hasn’t graduated high school?

    And I think we all smell the rotting corpse of a forthcoming romance between Alex and Owen. That’s gonna be gross in more ways than I can list.

  7. So if TB knows his fans likes the lightheared stuff why not go back to it? Granted he won’t have as much attention but then if when he wants to have story lines with drepressing things they would be more powerful.

  8. Dear lord. I am crossing my fingers that the Starbuck Jones spin-off is just a joke by Batiuk (if so, it’s the best joke he’s ever made), and even if it’s not, having it get cancelled because it would be lifted off of B-grade Silver Age storylines with uncompelling characters.

    Unfortunately, the retconning of Alex as a teenager is even worse. The Model Sheets do not say “teenager”, they say “aging punk rocker” or worse, “aging transvestite”. The thing is, BatHead DID develop new teenagers, but never used them.

  9. Mother of Mercy, is this the end of Funky Winkerbean? Batiuk’s just been showing up for work since Lisa died and this Starbuck Jones wankery sounds like the comic strip equivalent of post-retirement puttering about in the garage with his woodworking tools. I believe O.B. Dan was right all along.

  10. Good Grief….. now Tommy Boy will spend even less creativity with his flagship strip. If we think there’s been a maga-disconnect now… just wait.

    I still wanna know what kind of g*y anim*l porn pictures does he have of King Feature execs.

  12. Egads! As Owen’s older lady friend from the Korner innocently wanders the halls pretending to be a WHS student again for some reason, she is viciously book-slapped and butt-mocked by a group of special-ed bullies as a horrified (OK, mildly saddened) Owen looks on in revulsion and disgust (OK, mild annoyance). How will Owen strike back and defend his chunky maiden’s honor? My educated guess: something like pouring molasses on their locker doors, but only way stupider.

  13. Not sure what to say about this bullying arc until it moves past the Saturday morning PSA stage, but that clevelanddotcom interview is pretty much proof that TB trolls for us.

    Between you and me, even I get tired of presenting substantial ideas in a comic strip, and was looking to finally move more that a quarter-inch from reality…

    Moby Dick, by the way, happens to be a favorite of Funky’s Les Moore, who teaches high school English.

    I just don’t have time to pay attention to the negativity. I have my lawyers for that [laughs].

  15. Um, it’s been a while since I’ve been in school…but do guys really bully girls? And in that manner? Usually it’s the girls bullying “losers” in far more vicious manners. Like worderd insults or mean facebook entries or simply ignoring them socially.

    Personally If I were one of those guys…I’d look at Alex as an “easy lay” opportunity. At least that’s what most of the guys back when I was in school thought.

  16. This is what soured me on Glee: the expectation that we’d accept the bullying of Kurt as A Major Social Issue while at the same time most of the rest of the group were being bullied for laughs.

  17. The fact that Alex has already been established as an adult brings the creepy level up a few levels (at least John wasn’t retconned as a teenager–THAT would be unsettling).

    Somehow it’s WORSE than the implications between Durwood and Kerry.

  19. So Batiuk forgot that he introduced Alex five and a half years ago, looking exactly as she does now. What will he forget next?

    I’m thinking he’ll have forgotten that Les is married, or that Crazy came out gay.

  20. ANOTHER comic strip??? How about trying to write one good one instead? Geez, the guy is just brimming with non-ideas, you know?

    I call “StarSuck Jones” for a blog title. Don’t make me sic my lawyers on ya, that one’s mine!

  22. *headslap* What? Alyx does not scream “high-school teenager” to me, not by a longshot, even if an age was never given on the character sheet. Cut this crap out, Bautik, we’re beyond caring about your younger generation “focus” when in real time Cory & Owen should be in the senior class they’re being bullied by, AND you’re going to ignore the story of a young adult in military academy in favor for his mom gathering comics for his collection as a springboard for yet another spin-off!!

    And don’t you think we’ll forget how your previous coverage of bullying by Bull over your now-Author Avatar got implied-retconed to be “looking out for him”!

  24. Listen, you jobless, dung-spreading plebes!

    Tom Batiuk is a nationally syndicated cartoonist addressing an important issue! You are not ALLOWED to criticize m-HIM!

  25. I’d love it dearly if the “Brewster Rockit” guys, the “Buck Rogers”, the “Flash Gordon” copyright holders -AND- Bill Watterson all slap Tom with a simultaneous “cease and desist” over this truly horrifying new comic strip idea.

  26. I follow Luann also. Greg Evans is a better story teller. What’s next TB, anAR-15? Right in line with your political slant? Sorry, I used to really like this strip, it had a Peanuts feel. Now, it’s just grasping at straws…

  27. As a classroom teacher with 32 years of experience (middle school art as well as cross country/track/basketball coaching – I should be right in Batiuk wheelhouse, but somehow I’m not.) whose college age daughters recently graduated from high school, I can say that Westview Oncologist is correct in his analysis of school bullying. Physical bullying does happen, but on a campus where the faculty and staff give a shit (I know, I know) it should be minimal. I work in a fairly large inner city school, and the kind of stuff Batiuk portrays is rare on our school grounds because we care about kids and keep our eyes and ears open. My brother-in-law is an assistant principal at another large middle school. One of his priorities is dealing with bullying issues before they can escalate. You know what’s harder to control than wedgies and food fights? The shunning and ‘mean girl’ behavior that goes on covertly. It’s much more difficult to police, and, I suspect, it’s more damaging than having your books slapped out of your hands in the hallway.

    Personally I think Tom Batiuk would be a lot better off doing a time jump back to when Les used to get stuck on a rope and Dinkle’s band used to march in monsoons. The characters were a lot more likable and the strip was harmless. If he insists on dealing with issues in a serious manner, then he needs to do his homework.[img]/Users/richardbrooks/Desktop/mrmorris april 10 pencil.jpg[/img]

  28. I smell a huge, but delightful, April Fools joke. Clevelanddotcom.info? Dick Hertz? And there was no Starbux when BatElderly was in 5th grade, so he couldn’t have created that character back then. (Assuming Starbucks was the source of the name.)

    Damn shame Summer has left the planet is off at K*nt State. I’ve seen her deal with unruly bullies! She would have Scrote Kicked the whole lot of them and cut them up into Bully McNuggets within seconds. Especially Barry Bonds, and his roid-enlarged head.

  29. Let me go against the grain, here, and suggest that the Starbuck Jones thing might be a better idea.

    It’s very clear that Tom Batiuk has lost all interest in Funky Winkerbean, beloved avatar Les notwithstanding. He doesn’t seem to care about any of the characters. All he can do is give them strokes and send them out of town. There’s no obvious liking for them at all.

    On the other hand, the recent Lord of the Late (UGH) bit at least attempted some jokes, and actually had a bit of…what? Verve? At least he seemed interested in it. It really seems as if he’d love to do a space opera-type comic. It probably won’t be funny or even good, and I’m sure I won’t read it, but at least it may show some evidence of the creator’s interest.

    So, Tom Batiuk (and we know you read this webzone), if you shut down Funky Winkerbean to do something you enjoy, you have my blessing.

  32. Bravo indeed for the Batiuk interview. It is indeed a quarter inch, as they say, from reality. (Alas, some of it would indeed be a step up, or a sign of healthy self-awareness! Writing a sci-fi strip for fan-favorite John Byrne? Not a completely bad idea, considering Crankshaft often manages to beat the parent strip.)

    As for bullying the 40-something-goth-girl-inevitable-love-interest, is that our old friend Wedgeman? It’s been so long but one of the few ‘new’ students from last year (who i assumed was also a senior at the time) may still be around!

  33. So how -do- these Comics Kingdom Readers (or Tom, using various sock puppets) come to the conclusion that only somebody who’s unemployed could dislike Funky Winkerbean?

    It’s a bizarre conclusion.

    Almost as bizarre as thinking that the worst High School Bully Jocks can do is elementary school (or at most, middle school) pranks.

  34. Tomorrow: Principal Nate, after banging Crayola silly in the vendos room, zips up and calls an assembly. He waves a copy of the Student manual and declares there’s nothing in there about allowing bullying.

    So that’s the end of THAT!

  35. … Oh, and he uses several “cool” and folksy expressions. That’s because he’s Black, and Black people talk that way.

  36. Kinda figured it, especially since it was the first comment! Very, very well done.

  37. Bahahaha! I had to screenshot that for a laugh any time I’m done. Awesome! 🙂

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