TheDiva
May 2, 2013 at 10:55 pm
I’m getting the subtle impression that Frankie might not be a nice person…
Like the rest of you, dear readers, I cannot even begin to fathom what sinister plot Frankie has in mind. Something to do with besmirching St. Lisa’s immaculate image, I guess. Interesting how TB’s managed to intersect two plot threads, each having something to do with A Book By Les Moore.
Son of Stuck Funky 
To Tom Batyuck, and by extension, Frankie The Rapist:
Who really gives a shit about the “other side” of Lisa’s Story? I could not care less about the side I DO know.
Oh, and Frankie The Rapist:
Please tell me you checked that book out of the library and didn’t purchase it, thus enriching smug ole Less Moore’s ass.
Frankie: “Gee…lots of cars are honking behind me and residents of the neighborhood are giving me odd looks. Perhaps parking the the middle of the street to sneer at those I plan to ensnare in my toils was a bad idea? Hmmm. Yes. Well, better head off to purchase some fruit bats, rats, sprouts, locusts, a brass unicorn, a constricting frog mask, acid, a blood-letting kit, a hail machine, and, oh yeah, construct a beautiful clockwork woman to assist me! Get ready, Taj MOORE Hal for the nine plagues of-”
*HONK SCREE*
“…wow. Almost got hit by that girl with a cellphone.”
Maybe he’s set them all up for their own reality show. Wimp Swap? The Real Morons of Ohio?
“Once I tell everyone that Lisa was a terrible slut, Darrin will totally want to hang with me! Oh, I can’t wait–we’ll go on bike rides, and camping, and I’ll help him with his homework! It’ll rule, I tell you, rule!“
Sorry, Batiuk, but I’m not getting enough “evil vibe” out of Frankie today. Panels 1 and 2 make him look like a man filled with regret, vis-à-vis “Cats in the Cradle”; and Panel 3 makes him look like a beady-eyed lawyer trying to set the facts straight on a matter of misrepresentation. I guess in the 1/4″ world of Westview, anyone who would champion Les Moore’s forced perspective qualifies as an enemy of the people, but to me he just looks like one righteous, upright dude. And if by some freak of nature he ends up killing Les, then that judgment stands.
Well of course we have no idea as to the content of Lisa’s Story ( I’m sure we are in for 2 weeks of flashbacks)…but somewhere in that book it must mention Darin by name and description for FTR to know who that long face is today.
Then Cayla coldcocks him.
I had to at least give Bunky credit for ambition with this one, until you reminded me that it all comes back to his avatar Les. Geez, Tom, even my fan fics at 14 years old weren’t so self-indulgent!
Alright, Frankie, take ’em down. You are officially my favorite FW character as of a few days ago.
Reading this, I think Frankie is really the Lord of Late’s secret identity. Instead of hammy, overdramatic line-reads as the LoL, Frankie mumbles the same things, mentally inserting sarcastic air-quotes around words like “happy” and “the rest.”
That, or he’s Paul Harvey’s son. Could go either way I suppose.
I would think Lisa’s whole teen pregnancy episode is already public knowledge. “Woman dies tragically young from cancer” isn’t much of a hook, but “woman searches for the child she gave up for adoption before she dies tragically young from cancer” has the makings of a story about it, if an overly sentimental weepy one. So what’s Frankie hoping to prove? That her youthful indiscretion was the result of being raped on prom night? If anything that would make her more of an oh-so-saintly and tragic victim. I don’t think he* thought this through.
*You decide whether I’m referring to the character or the author here.
Slight off topic here: Whatever happened to Lisa’s parents, anyway?
Why does he give a damn? Seriously people, why does this man actually care about this? It has been at least a few decades since he would have even SEEN Lisa, let alone interacted with her. And why does he care about the child? Since when has he been at all interested in a family?
Great nod to the ‘The Abominable Dr. Phibes”, John!
dougputhoff: Slight off topic here: Whatever happened to Lisa’s parents, anyway?
They popped in just ahead of Masky McDeath so that her father could grovel for St. Lisa’s forgiveness:
Don’t fret, J.R. Clark, he shoplifted the book. Because he’s evil, remember.
Alice: The way I see it, the -only- way Tom could possibly justify the overblown, melodramatic, overwrought and in general just plain kooky EVIL BUILD UP of Frankie’s return is if he really was the campy, calculating super-villain Tom seems to imply he is with each line of ill intent.
And hey, at least Vincent Price would’ve been able to DO something with such corny material.
Wow, Les’ sanctimonious, prissy expression in the second panel of that first strip is so, so punchable. “She’s JUST resting. JUST talk to her. I’ll JUST stand here, judging you, basking in how your love is JUST inferior to my own.” *smirk*
So essentially FTR’s just going to add back the interesting parts to Lisa’s Story that Les left out intentionally in editing. The parts that would have made a bullshit sob story into a well rounded honest portrayal.
Well this screenplay was going to need a re-write sooner or later. Be it initiated by a psycho stalker/rapist, all the better.
I hate to say it ( I don’t hate to say it), but maybe FTR is here to remind everyone that at one time in her life Saint Lisa loved to bang like a bunny. Good for her, I say.
Come on, everyone. Frankie’s just here to get his copy of the book autographed by Les. Then he’ll be on his way. You cynics don’t appreciate the genius of Batiuk.
Thanks for posting those late Act II strips, TFH. Just imagine year after year after year of that kind of sanctimonious drivel and you’ll understand why Lisa is so especially loathed and despised. That kind of maudlin claptrappery was absolutely par for the Lisa course.
Frankie’s “evil scheme” begins to come into…uh…focus? Kinda? I guess he plans on….hmmm, honestly I really have no idea whatsoever. I have to assume he keeps a copy of the cancer book around for easy reference, after all it’s been a while so he’ll need to refresh himself with the main players in the story. I’m likewise assuming that either a) Boy Lisa’s stupid saga is mentioned in the book or b) Batom is intentionally leaving huge plot holes scattered about just in case he needs to drive a truck through one of them someday. In any event, I’m not counting on ever getting any explanation as to why FTR would even give the remotest of shits about his long-forgotten son, a long-dead woman he had sex with once thirty years ago or any of this nonsense. It’s FW, it isn’t supposed to make sense.
The hilarious thing here is how in BatFraud’s Lisa-addled mind a threat against her “good name” is the most vile, despicable, horrible act anyone could possibly perpetrate. He’s STILL so Lisa-obsessed he’s actually going to do a major retcon job on a storyline from 25-30 years ago, just to “clear her name” and restore her precious chastity. The guy has a comic strip featuring dozens of characters who never get any “face time” at all, yet he’s so bereft of ideas he feels compelled to go back to this piece of drivel just for the sake of featuring her again, something he could have been doing for all this time anyway if only he hadn’t decided to kill her off for cheap pathos and easy attention. This is going to very slowly devolve into the biggest load of shit snce that truckload of manure overturned on the Turnpike. Or maybe not so slowly.
I dunno John, have you ever seen Vincent Price in the episode “The Deadly Dolls” on Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea?
Way more campy and hilarious than menacing or scary! The best character ever in that series was The Nelson Puppet. I dare you to watch this episode without laughing at The Nelson Puppet.
Hrrr!!! Hrrrr!!! Me got big forehead and angry eyebrows!!!! Me most certainly bad guy!!! Hrr!!!!
Hrrrrrrrr!!!!!! Get it yet?
Another especially grating thing about today’s strip. Half the time Batom can’t be bothered to draw his regular characters the same way twice, but check out the detailed, loving rendering of that f*cking cancer book. Quite a contrast to “Fallen Star” and its quickly thrown-together cover, isn’t it?
To be fair to Les, John — and that’s not something I really give a shi+ about doing, normally — Les was there for her through both her pregnancy and her cancer while her parents weren’t. So yeah.
Seems Lisa’s mom followed the whole “Women must cover their mouths and let their husbands do all the talking” that every other woman in the Winkerverse does.
I think this strip has demonstrated just how far Batiuk has crawled up his own ass regarding Lisa and her story. He’s no longer able to recognize reality. He really does seem to think that everyone in his world would care about her and moreover that we would care about her. Apparently Frankie’s going to hold her slatternly ways over Les’s head and Darin’s head as some kind of blackmail. Oh no! It might get out that Lisa liked The Cock when she was a teenager! The reputation of a woman 16 years dead would be ruined!
So let’s see if it maps out like this. Here’s my prediction.
Since Frankie’s motivation is that he’s evil, (that’s it. He’s evil. He has no other motivation) he tries to coerce Les into sharing some of the ill-gotten gains he realized by exploiting Lisa’s death. He does this by saying that he’s going to reveal how Lisa was oh so hot, greased and ready to go in Frankie’s van way back when. He’s also going to threaten Darin with this as well because he’s evil, but what Frankie will gain from this is never elaborated upon.
Les broods and mopes and feels terrible because he KNOWS that Lisa’s not a Hose Beast because she just ISN’T. But he feels helpless because he can’t think of anything he can do to prevent Frankie from ruining Lisa’s reputation forever and ever if he doesn’t do just what Frankie says. And Frankie’s evil and stuff.
Les finds a journal of Lisa’s that he knew nothing about and somehow went completely unnoticed in his house for over 16 years.
He’s able to read Lisa’s beautiful and heartfelt journal, which describes how wonderful Les is and how no one appreciates him, but wait! It also indicates that she totally DIDN’T totally give it up to Frankie! (Yes, both totallys are totally needed there) He dragged her into his van and forced himself on her because there’s no way in hell that it could have been anything else. She hid the truth because she’s just so saintly like that.
But Les won’t hide the truth! Lisa is exonerated! Les is triumphant! Frankie goes to jail based solely on the testimony of a dead woman’s journal from 33 years before! Les is saved! Darin doesn’t have to make nice with the evil Frankie! And best of all, Les has ANOTHER book he’ll be able to write!
It’s awful and it’s self-indulgent and it’s boring, so it’ll be just the thing for Batiuk to base 2013 around.
Great. Super. His ‘evil’ scheme must be to clear his name. Worse still, the Bad Guy will win because Dead Lisa BACKS HIM UP!!! Way to go, Bat$#!+ Crazy!! You fail logic forever.
Tb tends to just drop characters….but now he’s going to drop Cayla?
He probably didn’t even do that. My guess is that the Westview Chamber of Commerce (a.k.a. Funky) got ahold of a warehouse of unsold copies and gives them out to hotel patrons in lieu of printing up a visitors guide.
Think about it, if Frankie had a copy of the book prior to arriving in Westview, why would he only show up after Cindy blabbed about the TV movie option on television?
What you can’t see from this pic is Frankie’s signed copy of Lisa’s Story is actually signed by Lisa.
J.R. Clark: I said Price would’ve been able to do something with such corny material as the current FW arc due to his history of playing extremely campy villains. (I gave Dr Phibes as an example, even!)
I’m not sure how you interpreted that as “John just said Price ISN’T campy.” 😛
Charles, I think you’re absolutely right except for one thing: it will be a video tape, not a journal.
S.P. Charles- Am I being unfair? …the ONLY reason her parents were brought into that arc is because Tom wanted to contrast how wonderful Les was compared to Lisa’s less worthy loved ones. And the ONLY reason he wrote them that way was to make Les look better.
Kind of like over in For Better or For Worse, when Deanna’s parents suddenly went from a few arcs of being pleasant, ordinary people to the EVIL IN-LAWS WHO ARE EVIL BECAUSE OF EVILNESS just to make Elly and John seem perfect.
It says something when Tom mainly makes Les look good by pointing out how BAD someone else is. Which we see being repeated again here with Frankie.
These AREN’T real, rounded, layered characters experiencing negative emotions in order to tell a powerful story. These are PROPS, being pulled out to make Tom’s pets shine by comparison.
It just struck me, but props to BatHack, he’s doing a remake of “Casino”!
Less as Sam “Ace” Rothstein (Robert De Niro)
Lisa as Ginger (Sharon Stone)
FTR as Lester Diamond (James Wood)
Funky as Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci)
The story’s falling into place, too bad Lees can’t be the Joe Pesci character though, so he can get the “baseball bat massage”.
In re. to Merry, a conclusion I’ve come to is this. Cayla isn’t an actual character. She is a thing that appears in the panels to be the wife*, the black character and the driving force behind Les to get future Lisa projects done. She does not have actual interests, concerns or a social life.
*Because, you know, if two women are love with a man the man must also be in love with at least one of them. It’s not possible for him to be genuinely uninterested in either of them.
Lisa’s loathsome father: “Is she dot dot dot?”
Lisa’s loathsome husband: “No, no. She’s PINING FOR THE FJORDS!”
[img]http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DnpjOSLCR2hE[/img]
As long as this plot ends in Les’s death, I’m cool with it.
Props to Batiuk for his skill at making loathsome characters, though!
Hint: It has a goatee and glasses.
Oh, I never said any of this was well-written, John: only that the way it was written, Les was justified in his “I loved her better than you did” attitude.
A hastily-assembled press conference at the park gazebo:
“My name is Frankie The Rapist and I’m here today to spill the beans on Lisa Moore.”
(Crowd murmurs in confusion)
“Despite Les Moore’s claims to the contrary, Lisa WANTED IT! She was ALL ABOUT the Frankster back then! Bwaaah-ha ha ha HA! And that asshole who lives above Montoni’s with the stupid chick? HE’S MY SON!!!”
(Audible groan of weary disgust from crowd)
“Hey! Where’s everyone going? Wait! There’s more! Hello? Is this thing on??”
Did Frankie read “Lisa’s Story” in its entirety? If so, another reason to sympathize with Frankie.
Charles, I think you’re absolutely right except for one thing: it will be a video tape, not a journal.
That would be perfect were it not for the fact that Batiuk has already indicated that Lisa’s journal will be found, and that it reveals that “there was some coercion involved” with Frankie and his van. He didn’t say why this was going to be important, but the lines aren’t hard to draw looking at how this is going so far.
I just think his presumption that this would matter so much is hilarious. Apparently casting aspersions on Lisa in the Funkyverse is the equivalent of throwing mud on Kate Middleton, or something. It’s as if the Funkyverse US and People magazines have cover stories on Lisa every four months or something. She’s their version of Princess Di, Jennifer Aniston and Kim Kardashian rolled up in one, only not sleazy, which is why what Frankie’s peddling is so terrible.
Anyway, yes, Frankie’s plan apparently is to come back so he can be convicted of first degree assault that took place over 30 years before. If he had just left it alone, he could’ve simply gone on living in squalor without anyone knowing who he was.
I’m calling that Frankie will be a strawman for people who point out the ret-con Batiuk made. Or that he’s going to try again to get an award for date rape awareness.
Okay, I’m new-ish here (been following this comic-like object for about a year now), but I’m confused. I’d like a little clarification about how all of this went down; if anyone could help me with it, I’d be greatful.
1)The way I understand this, waaaay back in Act 1, there was *no* pregnancy arc. Then, in Act 2, during a flashback after the bombing, it gets revealed as the reason that Les and Lisa get together. At the time, Frankie was just this other teen that Lisa slept with. This basically right so far?
2)So, has Batiuck not already ret-conned it into being date-rape? And if not, at what point did Frankie become Frankie-The-Rapist in common parlance around here?
3)Kind of related…during that flashback arc after the Bombing, it shows Principal Stroke Victim and Wife with the adopted kid. So, did the audience just know who Darrin’s mom was for years before Darrin found out? I had thought there was some sort of ‘maybe it’s incest’ meme with Darrin and Jessica, too, but I thought that happened later than the Bombing story.
You know, I’m pretty sure that in the real world it’d take slightly more than a couple of entries in a years-old diary to even get the police to believe there was a case to answer let alone successfully secure an assault conviction, and that’s even without taking the statute of limitations into account. (Boy Lisa over 20 years old? Then there ain’t nothin’ the state of Ohio can do about it, Batty, sorry.) But of course FW is just reality-based and that’s no diary but the Holy Writ of Lisa Moore, Westview’s beloved and beneficent Patron Saint of Smirking, inscribed in a sacred spiral-bound Staples notebook in her own fair hand! So, uh, Frankie? You might want to start looking into lawyers now.
I like to think that Frankie’s voice sounds exactly like John Vernon in Animal House.
And it would not surprise me in the least if, Monday morning, we all turn to Funky Winkerbean and find that a new storyline has begun, and Frankie isn’t heard from again for three or four years.
Statute of limitations? We don’t need no stinkin’ statute of limitations!
Chaos Clockwork: 1. The pregnancy arc was during Act I, in fact it marked the end of the “gag-a-day” FW and moved the strip into its current “real-life issues blah bla blah” serial drama status. At first the father of her child was ” an older boy” and it was implied that it was merely bad judgment on her part. Les & Lisa were “together” before she announced her pregnancy, they went to the prom together or something, I do recall an arc where their braces locked during the big “first kiss”.
2. I don’t know exactly when or under what circumstances Frankie arrived nor do I recall much about the retconning, although I do know he was established as the father quite a while ago (most likely during the very melodramatic, Lisa-centric Act II). He was never a “regular” character in FW, though.
3. I believe we found out that Lisa was Derwin’s mother when he did, although I could be wrong about that as I missed huge chunks of Act II due to disgust. Check out TFH’s “other crap” section to see the entire “Birth Of Boy Lisa” arc when he finds out the big news. Hope that helped a bit.
Hey, Frankie…have you read my book I wrote about John Darling, whose daughter is knocked up by our son?
…You’ll understand why Lisa is so especially loathed and despised.
I don’t get that she is despised and loathed as much as dissed and abused. And worst of all is what Batiuk has done (or not done, as the case may be) with the one character who came from out of nowhere and totally dominated Act II. The whole “Perpetual Visitations” thing would have worked better if Les was played out better.
And did we ever establish that Frankie raped Lisa? I thought it was one of those “skank girl wants to be cool so she bangs a bad boy” things.
Maybe when he meets his incredibly WASPy-looking progeny he will reveal the other side of Lisa as what a skank she was before he showed up and after one roll in the hay (or the back of a van) she disappeared and returned as a babe.
Just sayin’…
And why has the logo banner been changed to feature Rachel? Some change coming you want to tease us with?
“And did we ever establish that Frankie raped Lisa? I thought it was one of those “skank girl wants to be cool so she bangs a bad boy” things.”
“We” don’t have to establish it, Tom spilled the beans on his blog some months ago that the Lisa’s Story Part III arc will reveal Frankie and Lisa’s “time” together “involved an element of coercion”…which many interpret to mean Tom wants to do a date rape arc.
Oo, there’s a very subtle clue in panel 3 showing just how evil Frankie is supposed to be! Notice that he’s not wearing his seat-belt!
I bet he and Darrin go for a ride and they crash ‘n’ die ‘n’ burn ‘n’ stuff! Leaving…um, Jessica?…to raise the offspring on her own. Also, giving he the subject of her next “documentary.”
But if in high school during the alleged coercion…they’d be minors..no names.
If Frankie did “rape” Lisa in high school, then why wasn’t this already brought up at some point in the past? If the whole purpose is to exact revenge on Frankie or redeem Lisa’s name, then why didn’t she herself pursue this while she was alive and working as a lawyer, you know, when she could have used any loophole in the book to have him arrested no matter how much time had passed? Of course, I get the feeling that what Batiuk is (clumsily) going for is to have Frankie dig his own grave by bringing it up even though no one in Westview was wise to it anyway. For what purpose, you ask? Uhhhhhhhhh…….
For research purposes: I would refer readers to the “Teen Pregnancy Arc” in the Archive section of the official FW site…but since that site’s been dicey lately, I’ve taken the liberty of hosting the strips here. Not a whole lot of background except it takes place during Act II, as Les and Lisa are trying to concieve a baby two years after Lisa’s first bout with cancer.