Boy, that first panel–yeah, Funky, Les needs more encouragement that he’s the greatest genius of our age…you know? Wait, did I say “genius?” Of course I meant “ass.”
Speaking of which: who’s the blonde in panel two? It’s not Rachel, since she (usually) has red hair and hers is less than shoulder length. Do we have a new character?
Probably not. Pretty much all the new characters introduced in this thing disappear right after they’re introduced. Aside from Chullo and Glasses, all the high school kids were shed last graduation day, and have barely been seen since. Tom Batiuk doesn’t seem to like new characters; they serve a plot point, then disappear. Take Blonde Waitress, here. Her plot point is to show that, just below her elbow, there’s another customer at Montoni’s, so take that, all you beady-eyed nitpickers!
Well, Tom, I don’t like any of your old characters, and even if I did, you seem hell-bent on making them unlikeable. Take Crazy Harry for example. I liked him because he seemed to have a positive attitude toward things he cared about (admittedly, Tarzan comics, but still). There was a strip about a year or so of the young Crazy surrounded by Tarzan books which was genuinely good, and really reflected a “sense of wonder” that stories can embody. So I thought Harry was kind of cool…well, Tom Batiuk can’t have that. So Harry was made just as obnoxious as everyone else. If any character is to be liked, by gum, it’ll be Les Moore or it’ll be nobody…which it is. Eventually the whole town will be populated by Les-clones, probably hatched from pods in Cayla’s garden. Lestables.
When I started my sidekick stint here, I was hoping to get a Les arc–the guy’s so damned punchable and pathetic, I figured the jokes would just fly from my fingertips. I should have known better, though–Tom Batiuk has become very protective of Les, and the arcs in which he plays a central role have been carefully set up so as to deny most of the potential for sarcasm. The story this week has been, basically, Funky tells Les that he, Les, is a genius. Les agrees. Cayla sits in admiration of Les. The reader vomits.
Of course, I think Tom Batiuk has become pretty protective of almost all of his characters. I’m trying to think of the last time that any of them made a simple mistake. The only example I can think of was last year, when Funky accidentally left a CD in his leased car when he returned it. Notwithstanding Chullo and Glasses, who are the only characters played for laughs (and I’m being charitable), can anyone think of mistakes made by the main cast?
I have to admit, I can’t get over Funky’s line in panel one (I would have used a different finger, though). “Wow, you are such a brilliant, talented, handsome man, Les…you know? Well? Well…did you know that? If you didn‘t know that, can I get credit for telling you? Please don’t wish me into the cornfield, Les.”
Son of Stuck Funky 
At least “phoning it in” requires a bit of effort, unlike today’s FW which is quite clearly just a bunch of nonsensical drivel Tombat threw together with no regard at all for coherence, substance or story. I honestly have no idea what Les is yammering about, although I guess “La-La Land” is a derogatory reference to “Hollywood”. You know, those awful, awful people who had the audacity to send Les a big fat check a few months back. How very shallow and un-Westviewian of them.
Nice work this week, Tom. Now go back to Comic-Con and sit there like a distinguished member of the artistic elite as you bore everyone with the usual bullshit about the “contemporary issues” your charade of a comic strip allegedly “addresses”. It seems to be working, as folks appear to take you seriously when you speak, although you’d better do whatever you can to make sure none of those people ever actually read FW, because if that happens the whole jig is up.
“Hey, you’re working hard on your script… you know?”
No, I don’t think he does know, Funky. I know I don’t know, because I don’t recall seeing it except for that baseball flashback that Les couldn’t wait to pat himself on the back over. If he’s written anything since, it went unnoticed by me. And Les would never “phone it in” because, you know, phones. Evil, modern technology.
Anyway, this was a wasted week. No movement whatsoever, just blind praise for achievements unseen and moments of silence from the token second wife. Does it speak volumes that her silence involves not joining in Funky’s choral praises?
Re: Lestables. Great one, best laugh all week!
Oh, and was that Batiuk who visited yesterday’s thread and Thumbs-Downed everyone’s scathing comments?
Jeffcoat Wayne: “No movement whatsoever, just blind praise for achievements unseen and moments of silence from the token second wife.”
Honestly, that’s the most poetic language I’ve ever seen associated with Funky Winkerbean. Very, very well done–nice work wringing something out of nothing!
Oh, and was that Batiuk who visited yesterday’s thread and Thumbs-Downed everyone’s scathing comments?
Yes, the ability to thumb down a comment has let evil sneak into this fine little community. We shall never be the same unless we remain vigilant.
(This has nothing to do with the fact that I got the first thumb down comment ever here. Nope. Nothing whatsoever.)
Anyway, that first panel is a mess. Funky looks angry, or at least perturbed at Les, and I have no idea why he’s phrased his statement as a rhetorical question. I reread the panel and still find myself surprised to see that he makes a statement rather than a more precise question in the second panel. That’s certainly how that lead-up in panel one reads.
Also, the joke just… isn’t. Yeah, I’d be lazy and do the absolute minimum I could get away with on this project, but I don’t know how. It’s one of those puns that doesn’t work because you can’t figure out what the pun is referring to. He got lost in his dumb metaphor.
It’s 213.
It’s 213.
Actually, it’s 310. The powerful horrible people of Hollywood all have 310 numbers. 213 is for the little people who live in the unglamorous part of Los Angeles.
Which of course, would make it just perfect if Batiuk made that mistake.
I’m trying to reconstruct the conversation that would have led to Funky’s line in panel one, but I don’t think such a thing exists in any reality I’m familiar with.
Why does it look like their table has suddenly been moved outside in the last two panels?
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like Batiuk had something with Crazy Harry and then spoiled it. Maybe his comic obsession was a little corny, but I have some odd obsessions myself so I just found it fun. Of course the first step to bore-ifying him was to tear him away from the escape that made him happy. Much like reading Funky Winkerbean does to a person.
He also shares a name with one of my favorite Muppets, so maybe that was half the appeal.
Funky: “Hey, you’re working hard on your script, you know? Sure, the first time the option was bought two years ago, you told Ann you wanted to write the script but prepared nothing at all-”
Les: “What do you MEAN the first time?!? Two years ago? Hmmph! The option was only purchased a couple of months ago!”
Funky: “….uhm…okay. Well, you’ve been working hard! You learned the proper way to screen write, you joined the WGA, you sent the production company a polished, registered showcase script, y-”
Les: “Did -WHAT- now?!? Shut up! Shut UP! I’ve been working so HAAAAARD and everyone keeps trying to point out things I still haven’t done! SHUT UP!”
Cayla: “…Les, I’ll be frank, you’ve never written a story before, let alone a script. It’s NATURAL that this is something you need to learn.”
Les: “N-no! It’s just proof that Hollywood is stupid and evil! EVIL STUPID HOLLYWOOD! Stupid and evil because it JUST IS! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
*Les collapses to the pavement, kicking his heels up and screaming, snot, spit, and angry tears streaming across his now beet red face*
Funky: “Gracious. Did he miss having his nap?”
Cayla: “He’s missing a lot of things, Funky.”
Okay, so it’s not phoned in. But I’m betting Batiuk is so lost in time and space that he FAXed this on a dial-up machine.
I so enjoy the Les fourth panel. It silently says, “Christ, I’m an asshole.”
Maybe Lisa is phoning in the script from beyond the grave.
Technology is bad. Teenagers are bad. Hollywood is bad… Zzzzzzzzzz…
Beckoning: Those fourth panels are awesome. I’ve suggested many times that the “Most Annoying Man In The World” is a concept TB should consider going with, as it’s clearly his strongest suit. That Les drawing captures the character perfectly, it’s his Lesterpiece, his “Missing Lisa”, if you will.
Re: mistakes…mistakes are rarely if ever played for laughs in the Funkyverse. On the contrary, they often lead to tragedy, disfigurement and untold human misery. And even when they don’t they’re never part of a “comedic” premise. Witness the “mistake” Jessica made when she prodded Boy Lisa into meeting Bio-Dad. All that led to was much unpleasantness and a sheepish apology, nary a chuckle to be had.
Many a Britcom has gotten a lot of mileage out of that character type, Epicus. The problem is, Tom is convinced that Les is the Saintly Wise Author, the suffering, sensitive soul who tells it like it is. So witty. So pure.
He’ll never see that Les is actually a thoroughly horrible human being these days
Josh Tcat posts on CK board today that he has been banned from SOSF.
Gets ‘thumbs up’ from Reflex76.
The circle is now complete.
Epicus: not sure Jessica made a “mistake” as an “error in judgment.” The distinction may be minor, but she did what she did fully aware of what she was doing, only the result was not what she expected.
“Mistake” I would say is a failure to do something, or to do something fully. Funky’s leaving his CD in his car is an example, as well as Funky’s perception of Les’ problems as comedic (“I screwed up” “Yes you did–man, I cannot get over that one. A defining moment if ever there was one).
One “mistake” was Wally getting a snoot full and driving off that cliff, cauing a wreck that claimed Lefty’s arm.
Beckoning: True, not really a “mistake” per se. I suppose the biggest “mistake” in FW history was the thing with Lisa’s prognosis and we all remember how hilarious THAT turned out to be.
Re” “You screwed up”…that was an unbelievable example of Les worship at its worst. Makes me cringe just thinking about it.
Funky Winkerbean……worst maitre d’ ever!