Goodness Gracious

Lower your expectations! I’m left to swim in BeckoningChasm’s wake after his most excellent guest hosting duties. A tip of the Funky Fedora to you, BC!

Now, onto the snark.

Quick, Les, take a seat with the rest of the class so we can pick *someone* we know out of this sea of unknown students. Cody, Owen, pressed into service as one of the only two students we’ve been introduced to in this gaggle of malformed, floating heads, does his best with the predictable but bad news he’s been given in today’s strip.

Hoo-boy. I hope this strip doesn’t indicate we’re in for a cycle (recycle) of “The Scapegoats are terrible” knee-slappers. That could make for a long snark fortnight for yours truly!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Goodness Gracious

  1. Epicus Doomus

    That’s Owen, BTW, you can tell them apart by the idiotic hat Owen always wears now, even when he’s live on WHS TV (which apparently dodged the big budget cuts). He’s suddenly Batom’s “go-to” WHS student for some reason, most likely staggering laziness. I was going to point out that in most high schools you wouldn’t expect the laziest and dumbest student to be the one reading the morning announcements but this IS Westview, so I suppose there’s a logic to it, sort of.

    I can’t believe he’s doing another week of this stuff. He doesn’t merely flog a dead horse, he liquefies it then watches it slowly evaporate.

  2. “And as a reminder, you are all horrible specimens of what lazy good-for-nothings your generation is and a waste of good educa–DON’T LISTEN TO THEM! THEY’RE MAKING ME SAY THIS, THEY’RE GONNA BREAK MY THUMBS IF I DON’T–”
    *transmission cuts off*

  3. merrypookster

    Great student “on-the air” personality. Dorky, dumb, stupid puns, bad hair.. Wait I just described the WKYC Ch. 3 news team

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    No ad-libbing, Owen, stick to the script on the teleprompter! What’s that, you never learned to read? Alright, go ahead and make up random things — No way anyone’s actually paying rapt attention to this crap.


    Well, he’s at least more likeable and knowledgeable doing sports than Stephen A. Smith.

  6. Rusty

    I’ve got nothing. I feel like Tom Batiuk.

  7. (Shrug) I’m going to give Tom Batiuk a pass here…it’s an actual joke, and it’s fairly cleverly phrased. Three, maybe four times a year Batiuk manages to get a decent base hit, maybe a double. Of course, that ill portends for the next three or four months.

    Yeah, I too could’ve done without the Chullo Concerto, mostly because out of all the students, Owen seems the laziest and least intelligent, as well as the least likeable. But I suppose Batiuk has to give us something to hate.

  8. On the other hand, the drawing on the TV screen is terrible, especially that last panel where there’s no sense of depth at all–as if Owen was covered in wasp-sting boils and didn’t want to be seen, so he just held up a drawing of himself.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    TomBat clearly enjoys drawing Owen’s chullo. Like Becky’s sleeve, Funky’s bulbous ass or Les’ insufferable smirk, it’s one of those little FW details he just loves to capture perfectly every time. Pre-chullo Owen was just Cody’s sidekick, rarely seen without him but post-chullo Owen is a grizzled marching band veteran, the voice of WHS’ AV club and he has powerful connections in Westview’s bustling comic book trade. Sure, he’s also a complete moron but again, he has big-time comic book connections in Westview, thus basically guaranteeing him a career. All thanks to that hat (and Batom’s well-documented issues re: drawing hair).

    But seriously, hasn’t Owen been attending WHS during most of Act III? How can he not be a senior by now? Am I wrong about the timeline (guffaw) here?

  10. —-But seriously, hasn’t Owen been attending WHS during most of Act III? How can he not be a senior by now? Am I wrong about the timeline (guffaw) here?——

    What’s even more stupid is that putting Owen and Cody in college with Sum-More or Keisha would be infinitely more interesting then just having them rot in Westview High.

  11. billytheskink

    This strip offers remarkable insight into the football team’s place in Westviewian society. Owen’s use of “they” to refer to the team rather than “we” and the implication that none of the students know whether or not the team lost, thus necessitating this announcement, are especially telling.
    I’m not expecting tremendous school spirit in Westview, but this strip paints a picture that the Scapegoat football team is not just bad, they are loathed by teachers and fellow students alike… and they pay good money for that privilege.
    Tom Batiuk hates football, in case you didn’t know.

    Panel 1 is one of TB’s finest moments of the year, however, with the checked shirt student on the far right appropriately asleep in Les’ class.

  12. bobanero

    Ha Ha – The football team sucks and the coach doesn’t give a shit. I think I made this same comment two weeks ago, but I can’t be bothered to go back and check.

  13. Smirks 'R Us

    Clearly that is Owen and that ridiculous chullo in panels 2 & 3, but in panel 1 the person on the monitor looks like Ghost Lisa to me.

  14. –Panel 1 is one of TB’s finest moments of the year, however, with the checked shirt student on the far right appropriately asleep in Les’ class. —

    Asleep…or dead??!!!

  15. John

    Poor Owen looks about as enthusiastic as a pile of damp laundry. Forced to battle robots last year, forced to become a Bully Jock -and- do the school News Cast today…next year (of COURSE he’ll still be a student next year) he’ll be forced into mock U.N. -and- playing Mother Courage in the school play!

  16. John

    I vote Diva for comment of the month. *g*