Well, well, look at what we’re saddled with for the rest of the week! More observations that the Scapegoats indeed suck like a 5 Amp Hoover.
In today’s strip it’s obvious that Bull grabbing whatever he feels like out of the Lost and Found and everyone seems okay with this. Cell phone? Wallet? The only “scoring” Coach is doing is when he runs to the pawn shop to sell off Nintendo 3-DSs left on the bus.
Nate isn’t aging as well as the rest of his peers; Bull looks like the New Year’s Baby, Jim has a face as smooth as glass yet meanwhile Nate has “lovingly” been drawn out to mostly resemble a California Raisin.
Son of Stuck Funky 
“Ha-ha, but seriously though, he has no money and steals clothes and shoes in the desperate hope of finding something that fits his bloated frame.”
If Bull actually found this metaphorical concept inside a literal box, it would be the best plot resolution this comic has had.
Does Batiuk think that cruelly mocking others is a sign of wit? What next, Cayla making comments about the band playing like they’ve all only got one hand?
Look, I don’t think the older Funky Winkerbean was anything perfect. But looking at this I’m reminded of what happened to Pearls Before Swine (though Funky took a longer route to get there). It went from some funny jokes, a decent sized cast and okay writing to basically the same two or three jokes repeated over and over, most of the cast disappearing and not much else.
So today’s joke is that Bull, the wildly incompetent “athletic director” of the worst high school sports program in the mid-central Ohio area is also a cheap thoughtless slob who roots around through stuff that doesn’t belong to him in full view of his boss, who apparently finds his obnoxious antics and long legacy of failure amusing in some way. Heee-f*cking-larious.
I think it’s way past time to put this current “gag-a-day” phase to rest for a while, especially given how the “gags” have devolved into nonsensical wordplay and all. Maybe a six-week Les mega-arc where he wants to buy a leaf-blower before deciding on a gold ol’ fashioned rake instead or something like that. After all, falling leaf season IS just around the corner.
Well if he’s looking for metaphorical items in the lost and found..might I suggest El Toro Gordo search for other more elusive things in Wesview?
Like the Blarney Stone to help characters actual have interesting dialogue?
Or maybe The Philosopher Stone..so that every one can actual age normally in this damn town.
Or perhaps the most elusive thing ever in Westview!!!! ..The Bluebird of Happiness.
Gyre: It is interesting how even Nate goofs on Bull, almost as if they keep him around for laughs. Perhaps mocking Bull’s sad fate makes them feel better about their own wretched, miserable lives. They watch the one-time feared jock/bully pitifully flounder year after year and suddenly things don’t look so bad anymore because after all, at least they’re not Bull Bushka.
Jim is the science teacher yet he doesn’t understand why Bull, a man he’s worked with for years, is rummaging through the lost & found every day? Looks like another WHS department might be overdue for an audit, no?
You know, I had to think about this for a little while because the immediate reaction I had to it was Diva’s reaction above, that Bull was constantly raiding the Lost and Found because he was destitute and this was the only way he could obtain new things. I think it’s supposed to ultimately be that he lost something five years ago and he’s damn sure that one day it’s going to show up in that box and he’s not going to miss it when that day comes.
Still, Nate’s an ass. I wish Batiuk would delve further into Nate’s assholishness and offer Jim $5 if he’d go over there and spank the bent-over Bull. $10 if he pinches Bull’s ass, and $20 if he manages to shove Bull’s entire body over into the Lost and Found.
Being a prick really isn’t funny unless you go full over the top, after all.
Mark Twain: Ha ha, yeah, that’s great. But, seriously, WHY does Bull go through the lost and found box every morning?
Nate: As a setup for that joke, dummy. It’s reality-based!
I think it’d be great if tomorrow’s strip shows Bull finding an envelope with $50,000 in it. He slips it into his pocket, goes home, packs and starts to drive out of town. Stopped at a red light, he’s startled to see Nate, Mark Twain and the student go through the crosswalk.
He continues driving, until a cop following closely makes him trade in his old car for a new one.
Still being followed by a cop, he decides to go off the main highway. It begins raining heavily.
Through the water cascading down his windshield, he sees a neon sign for a hotel. “Vacancy” is lit.
He pulls into the parking lot…
Nate, of course, didn’t come up with that joke himself… he heard it through the grapevine.
The caller was anonymous, the call serious as any Bull had ever received as Scapegoat Football Coach. Bull, in an anxious, feverish sweat, waddled purposefully toward the Lost and Found box in the school office, hoping against hope. However, he knew in his ample gut that the caller had been right. Too, too right. As Bull dug into the Lost and Found box in P1, his scintilla of hope vanished. By P2 he had discovered the mutilated remains of what once was starting quarterback. Nate, clueless Nate, taunted unmercifully in P3 as Bull was beginning to somehow come to grips with the ghastly nightmare unfolding before him. Even though the caller was anonymous, Bull knew in his heart of hearts who was responsible and make no mistake, they would pay and pay dearly on Friday night. This time Big Walnut Tech had gone too far!
Dig a little deeper, Bull — maybe you’ll find today’s punchline.
He’s probably looking for Westview’s first football championship trophy (from way back when, when all of the other schools except Big Walnut Tech got rid of their football programs and BWT had an ineligible player) that mysteriously got retconned – er, disappeared