I like guest hosting. I really do. A better host, however, could have come up with *something* to snark about here in today’s strip. Me? I’m trying to get blood out of a turnip here!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Flatland

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks. Batom is a hack. FW sucks.

    Two can play at this game, BatBoy. You’re a hack and your comic strip sucks. So there.

  2. Frankly, if I were on a team and saw my coach badmouthing us on the evening news like this (seriously, where is this place where the sports desk is so desperate for something to do that they interview lousy high school team coaches?), I would play worse just to spite him.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    It isn’t you, DavidO. Ever since that f*cking Frankie arc ended, the two MOST interesting things that have happened were Dinkle throwing a shitty party and Rachel getting a shitty paper ring. Looks like the Great Writer is all out of ideas so he’s just using his old ones again…and again…and again. If I didn’t know better (har) I’d suspect he’s deliberately trying to kill the snark community by making the strip so unfathomably boring that we’ll all just sort of fade into snark atrophy, much like his (already marginal) talent did a few decades ago.

  4. Not super great, but I wasn’t able to do it a year ahead of time.


  5. Aw, fudge, I thought you could post images. Linkity.

  6. (Wait, the heck? That’s the URL I got by right-clicking the image, I swear.)

    I might as well make my triple-post useful by pointing out that in panel 1, Humpty-Dumpty knocks it out of the park as Bull Bushka.

  7. The television reporter looks disturbing like Forrest Gump.


    Man, all those Xfinity cable customers that were forced into purchasing the $12.99 sports package are going to lose their shit when they see interviews like this are what they’re paying for!!!!

  9. Guest Page Turner Author

    Epicus, I think you are onto something. Not long ago it was incredibly bad, but in a fun way. Now it’s just limping along.

    And he keeps changing scenes – they’re in the lunch room, they’re at the football field, they’re back at the lunchroom, now they’re in the classroom listening to morning announcements, then they’re back in the lunchroom again, then they’re at the lost and found, then they’re back at the lunchroom again. And all they can do is disparage their students, the football players

    Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Mark Twain asks the football coach how it feels to be coaching football again, even though that’s all they’ve been talking about for the past three weeks (or ten minutes in real FW time!)

    Next thing you know, this crappy coach is disparaging his team on the nightly news. Why are they interviewing this jackass?

    No reason here.

    And while im at it, I can’t think of anyone I know who actually has a goatee.

  10. HaHa – The football team sucks and the coach doesn’t give a shit.

  11. I understand that Tom Batiuk really, really, really hates Boulez Jacques, but “hating something” tends to blot out the possibility of “making fun of something.” Bitterness just digs its own grave over time.

    It certainly does seem as if the strip has…well, it ran out of gas a long time ago, but at least now the author is banging on the gas gauge saying, “E, huh?”

    Of course, the strip used to feature Les pretty much all the time, and Tom Batiuk can’t be unaware of how much that character is hated. Maybe Tom Batiuk tried to do something about that. Les has been pretty notably absent since returning from Kilimanjaro. There was his wedding, then mostly just scattered Les-showers here and there among the mediocrity.

    Maybe he’s trying to do something with his other characters, but his ability to do anything non-Les has just atrophied.

  12. Gyre

    Hey boys and girls! It’s the new Funky Winkerbean drinking game! Whenever Bull badmouths his team in public, take a shot!

  13. billytheskink

    This is interesting, a TV reporter interviewing the hippopotamus that joined the SMU marching band…
    Oh wait, sorry, it’s just Bull quoting one of Johnny Hart’s old B.C. strips where Wiley is a baseball coach.

  14. ——Hey boys and girls! It’s the new Funky Winkerbean drinking game! Whenever Bull badmouths his team in public, take a shot!——-

    I think some people have already taken a shot after watching these strips. The Deer Hunter kind of shots! *BANG*.

  15. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Bull has enough width in Panel 1 to make up for the entire team.

    Are we sure this is a real interview, or is this Frankie and Lenny filming a scene for their reality show?

  16. Professor Fate

    Well there are some places where High School football is a very big deal. However a team that is as constantly awful as the Scapegoats is not the kind of team a community would get overly involved in.
    Again the joke itself isn’t all that bad (it’s not good by any means but it’s not bad) it’s a harmless little bit of silly word play that the Marx Brothers would use. What kills it here is 1) the clunky language – you could say this all a lot faster – you could delete “for that matter” from the puchline and not hurt a thing. The clunky language contributes to the lack of timing – comedy is timing – you need a pause between Bull saying “we don’t have a lot of depth” and “we don’t have a lot of height or width either” to make the joke work.
    And then there is Bull’s ‘I am here to announce that Little Nell is dead’ expression. Kills the whole thing even before one starts. I think somewhere along the way Batuik lost the idea of humor as a way of coping with the painful realities of life and now assumes humor is used to emphasize his ‘the living envy the dead as everything is life causes suffering” world view.
    This is almost a textbook example of how his writing and artwork not only get in the way but actively undercut what, one assumes, is what he’s trying to do.

  17. It’s hard to imagine anyone being so blatantly dismissive of his own efforts and those of his team. “Yeah, I don’t expect us to win a single game, because the players are all so terrible.” It’s one thing to say this to a fellow teacher in the lounge, it’s quite another to see Bull say this to a television reporter. What do you suppose the reaction would be from the parent of a Scapegoat, seeing this on TV? Besides determinedly NOT voting to raise funds for the school? Way to go, Bull, you just got another eleventy subjects cut!

    By the way, if the players are all so terrible, Bull, why did you lie last year about putting in that one guy’s kid? It’s not like you’d be throwing away a potential victory, after all.

  18. But, why would Westview necessarily have bad players? It’s not like a college were you have to recruit from across the country? If you’re a star athlete in Westview you pretty much have no choice but to go to Westview. So Bull should at least have some students that are capable players. The real truth is one we already know–Bull is a crappy coach.

  19. Paul

    In high school football in particular, the quality of the coaching is key. Unlike college or pro ball, where there is recruiting and player swapping to get a good team, a high school football coach deals with the cards that have been dealt by the gene pool of the local community. My kids’ high school football gets rated highly every year because of the coaching..

  20. Merry Pookster

    This is just hard to snark much any more.
    FW is bland as hospital food in the diarrhea ward.

    Is this TB’s master plan to bring us into his world of despair and not caring?