C’mon, Jarod! You know janitors aren’t allowed to smoke in here, either..

Right off the bat, some fellow snarkers are wondering why a 40 year old man in a trenchcoat is hanging out in a high school bathroom. There is a period in everyone’s life when they can wear a trenchcoat; for most of us, it’s the period of ONE WEEK when you’re 19. Unless you’re a detective, then you have a free pass. Otherwise, trenchcoats in today’s societal view = trouble.

Post Columbine? Serious trouble.

I’m going to just imagine Jarod was held back a few years and has a bad case of really early receding hairline but my Snarker sense is still tingling on this one, as I have no idea where this arc could be headed. Hopefully it’s more than just a “Smoking is bad” lecture from 1967. The Brady Bunch covered that very well, thank you.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Irrita-Bull

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Step aside, Buddy, there’s a new least-despised character in the Funkyverse. His name is Jarod and he’s a surly, sarcastic rebel who’ll NEVER be any good. He also has the forehead of a forty year old man, but hey, you can’t have it all and still have the strip be believable (chortle).

    I’m just glad it isn’t f*cking Owen again. This HAS to be going somewhere, or so you’d think, what with TB giving the guy a name and all. Since Bull is involved, I can’t help but wonder if Jarod will turn out to be the Scapegoats very own Kelly Leak. Although a story arc that well thought-out is in direct violation of FW Rule #1, so we’ll see.

  2. I wish I’d created a tag called “backs of ears.” Whatever else can be said about Batiuk’s draughtsmanship, he really does a good job rendering the human ear seen from behind. It’s the one detail he consistently gets right.


    Hey, I know they cast Ben Affleck as Batman, but you’d think Christian Bale could find better work than to be in Funky Winkerbean!!

  4. Epicus Doomus

    The other beautiful thing (with the first being Jarod’s totally awesome anti-authority vibe which you’d better enjoy now before TB turns him into another mopey simpering smirker beaten into submission by life itself which will probably be by Thursday at the latest) about this one is that you can replace the panel three dialog with just about anything.

    “Will it suddenly make this strip funnier?”
    “And spoil the only interesting FW plot development in months?”
    “So I can live long enough to see Act IV?”

    The Photoshoppers should have a field day with this one.

  5. Was there a James Dean marathon on TV last week and I missed it?

  6. Rusty


  7. “Am I making the place smell bad or something?”

    Ha ha ha ha. I honestly can’t stop laughing at this. Jarod, this place already smells of failure, and dissolution, and ennui, and the song of entropy as it cools the universe toward its inevitable collapse. A couple of cigarettes aren’t even going to be noticed. But thanks for the thought.

  8. Guest Page Turner Author

    Jarod has a trench coat, circa 1999, and a receding hairline, circa guy in his late thirties. Or early forties.


  9. O.B. Dan

    I’m betting GPTA is right. Jarod, one keystroke away from an overused once-cool nickname, is, until now, an unknown entity. As a narc, he needs to quickly get his creds, and the easiest and quickest way to do that is to get in trouble, albeit chickenshit trouble. To that end, nothing works faster than smokin’ in the boys room and giving the teacher who caught you a ration of shit for effect.

  10. @Epicus Doomus. – I think you may have hit the nail on the head. TB is probably doing “Bad News Bears” for Westview High School football. Bull, meet Jarod, your new QB (or wide receiver or whatever short fall your team needs to fill to take them to a title). Now that I’ve said this, Bull does certainly look a little more like Walter Matthau, but Jerod is no Tatum O’Neal.

  11. Gyre

    That’s right Jarod! How could yo- wait. Who the hell is Jarod? Is he a member of the team or something? Sure would have been nice if we’d ever been introduced to him before now.

  12. Howard and Nester

    “TB is probably doing “Bad News Bears” for Westview High School football.”

    While Batiuk doing this plot would be a little hackneyed (Gil Thorp has the monopoly of soi disant Football wunderkids) it would actually create pretty good continuity with the last slate of ‘Football Slate of Fail’ comics. That makes last week’s harping on the Scapegoats a valid, if pitiful, storytelling device by setting of the stake and stage of conflict.

    Thus Batiuk is never going to do it, because:
    * That would require significant character development on behalf of Jarod. Which FW does not do.
    * That would require painting the football team in a good light. Which FW does not do.
    * Would require planning and continuity that (gasp!) didn’t revolve around Les. Which FW does not do.
    * The story about a high school delinquent who turns around several decades of sports fail with moxie, talent, and good ol’ determination is optimistic and hopeful. Which FW CERTAINLY does not do.

  13. billytheskink

    Looks like TB was listening to Brownsville Station 53 weeks ago.

  14. marcusaurelius1

    Does the name ‘Jarod’ rhyme with ‘A Rod’?

  15. @Billytheskink – There’s a funny story about Brownsville Station. Turns out that Cub Koda, who wrote and sang “Smokin’ in the Boys’ Room,” died of kidney failure.

    …in the Funkyverse, yes, that’s a funny story.

  16. bobanero

    I have two theories about this Jarod guy:

    1) He’s a bookie who’s paying Bull to intentionally fuck up the football team.

    2) He’s the embodiment of Satan and is taking Bull’s soul in exchange for a championship football season.

  17. Ha, you know, no that I reread the comic. This was a failed attempt at a turd flushing joke. Epic fail!

  18. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Jarod is already my favorite new character in this strip. Why, I’ll even bet Frankie wishes THIS was his long-lost son, instead of the nerdly wimpling Darin. If only he really were an embodiment of Satan, it would be the most interesting plot development in years. Of course, if Jardo were a true bad-ass, he would have already stubbed the cigarette out on Bull’s face by Panel 3. Enjoy this character while you can, I’m sure Batiuk doesn’t have long-range plans for him.