I thought for a minute that “the little boy in booth two” was Rachel’s son Robbie, whom we’ve not seen since January 2011. Nope, he’s just another luckless Montoni’s customer. Meanwhile, our old friend the green pitcher features prominently in today’s story!
Snarkers, tune in tomorrow as @Oddnoc (a.k.a. Withering Heights) begins a guest-hosting stint!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Where are these pizza places that offer anchovies, anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever seen them actually offered as a topping.
By the way, where are this kid’s parents, and are they at all concerned by the fact that 1) their child is choking and 2) the waitress thinks a glass of water will help?
Forget the water, Rachel. Try ipecac or induce vomiting…although that will probably take care of itself when his stomach rejects Montoni’s food.
Good lord, look at that Summer pic in the header. It’s like she’s trying to dethrone her dad as Westview’s most punchable resident. Looks like it’s gonna be quite a week ahead.
Wow, Funky looks like he could be pushing 70 today.
Again, if this was a “gag-a-day” strip (as opposed to a “gag-and-then-vomit-all-the-time” strip), this might be a passable joke. But Tom Batiuk just has to ruin it with that epic smirk from Funky in the last panel. Never leave ’em laughing, eh Tom? No, always leave ’em wishing they’d spent their time reading something else.
Funky always seems to be genuinely amused by the shittiness of Montoni’s food, which makes it slightly tougher to feel all that bad for him when he’s drinking himself stupid and contemplating suicide after bankrupting the joint through his incompetence, you know? He just loves to wallow in that “schadenfreude”, you know? Such a bitter old coot.
Wally is certainly getting himself a fine looking, active woman! Hope she doesn’t spill that water on her paper engagement ring. She could give it to the kid to make a spitball and he could shoot it through a straw. But what’s up with Funky’s horrid smirk? He is delighted that a child has tasted the bitter fruits of woe and can’t wash the taste from its mouth. Because that’s how it ought to be at the center of the Funkyverse. Life is like a bowl of snot and tears for breakfast.
Life is like a bowl of snot and tears for breakfast.
You can’t eat breakfast pizza out of a bowl, silly.
Oh….forgot about the paper engagement ring. Just like Wally’s return from being a POW… no one in Westview has shown any interest in their engagement. No reaction from Becky or Becky’s son, or Wally jr. Nobody cares.
Seems like Batiuk has forgotten about many (story-lines) things.
I don’t get it. I love anchovies—that salty fishy tang is awesome in Cæsar salad and on pizzas. Funky must still be using anchovies from the batch Tony brought from Italy in 1949, which explains that knowing smirk in the final panel.
And look at Funky’s head! In fact, look at all the characters, and all the details, like Rachel’s carefully rendered sneaker. Batiuk & Ayers have never rendered sneakers in a realistic fashion. Either there is a secret third artist who works only on the Sunday strips, or they use the entirety of their year’s lead time to perfect the Sunday artwork.
But never mind all that. Despite the attention to detail, the War on Proportion’s victim today is Funky Winkerbean himself. His head is compressed horribly front-to-back—either that, or he’s moving close to the speed of light.
With the way Funky’s acting we might have a future Ed Crankshaft on our hands.
Father: “Heh. Don’t like the taste of anchovies, eh sporto?”
Mother: “Now, now. It’s good to try new things.”
Boy: “Bleah! It was really yucky!”
(They all laugh.)
Rachel: *BOLTS IN FRONT OF THE BOY* “HERE DRINK THIS!!!!”
(The boy gags as a cup of water is literally forced into his mouth, sputters and shivers as Rachel then bolts away, frantically refilling the water cup, then bolts back and forces boy and parents to drink again and again.)
Boy: “….*cough cough* Mommy….Daddy. I hate this place.”
Mother: “Hey there. Next time, we’ll go to that nice Deli.”
Father: “Or maybe just move.”
The most saddest thing in this strip. The sole customer still wearing his #10 Brady Quinn Browns jersey. Just let it go, man!!
Also, Panel 2. First time we’ve seen an attempt at female breasts that does not involve Mopey Pete.
Also do pizza joints still offer anchovies as a topping? I have yet to go to one that offers the topping anymore.