The falling lard falls on his buttocks
Like the fall leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, they’re cyanotic
The glass of wine you used to hold
(with apologies to Nat King Cole Jacques Prévert & Johnny Mercer)
What’s this‽ It looks as though Funky Winkerbean has collapsed before the race has even begun, because of course he has.
Les: Is Funky okay?
The Universe: Of course he’s not, you fool! Did you think you could drag his obese, sedentary arse out of that pizza parlor once a month and turn him into an athlete? I’ll kill him and all of you, if it’s the last thing I do! Mwahahahahah!
Not to spoil anything, but you won’t believe how this ends. No, really: you simply won’t find it believable. The verisimilitude is quite literally incredible.
Update 11 October 2013:
Nat Cole? Jacques Prevert!—gleeb
Son of Stuck Funky 
Ha ha ha! I get it: the falling leaves are a metaphor for death! Oh that TomBat, so zany, so wacky, so insightful! And a woefully obese man participating in a Cancer Fun Run only to collapse in agony…inspired comedy! Illnesses and health woes always bring out the best in TB’s humorous side, like when Lisa took a year and a half to die. It was practically raining jokes back then…non-stop hilarity.
Coming tomorrow: the FW gang gathers at Montoni’s for Funky’s funeral viewing and have a hearty, sentimental laugh when the bottom of his casket collapses from the weight, spilling his bloated corpse onto the floor. An ebullient, buoyant Summer perkily suggests stuffing Funky and placing him in Montoni’s window under the bandbox and Tony grudgingly agrees, correctly assuming that it won’t affect business one way or the other.
Is it just me or does Holly look a bit like a dude in the second panel?
“Ha ha, my husband just collapsed, in a way that looks like he might die, and I thought of a jokey way to express it! Oh, this is the best day ever!“
From the snails pace of 5 episodes of Darin walking away from FTR… and now this week jump-o-rama.
don’t worry FW… Bull can coach you back to health.
Cory should just about be done with his enlistment…and can get a hardship to take over the business.
Great joy in seeing more Westviewian suffering
If you’re collapsing during a 5k charity run then you’re doing it wrong. Pace yourself, fat man.
Les: Is Funky okay?
Holly: Not really — the cartoonist had a mix-up and sent FUNKY into early labor! On the lighter side, he’ll finally get rid of that big gut.
Huh? How could Funk collapse? He practically runs every effing time we see him in this strip!! He should be in great shape with all the cardiovascular exercise he’s getting.
Seriously, Funky, my dad had a heart attack and quintuple (yes, as in five) bypass and he’s in better shape than you.
Is the Zombie Hoe-down already over?
Nat Cole? Jacques Prevert!
C’mon, ol’ Tub O’ Funk, just a little more and you’re at the start line!
Notice that they’re shooting with two cameras today? Upping the production values?
“His face turned as red as a brick and now he’s as sweaty and smelly as a chullo hat worn year ’round!”
Tomorrow, Bull performs quadruple bypass surgery on Funky in the first-aid tent.
This. Funky’s obviously not supposed to be in great shape, but when he’s one of the only two characters regularly depicted exercising it’s hard to believe he would be the one to collapse on a short charity run. Holly would make more sense, as would Bull, or DSH, or Crazy (now years removed from walking mail routes)…
We’ve been teased that we won’t believe how this ends and we’re off to a good start.
“We’ve been teased that we won’t believe how this ends and we’re off to a good start.”
Lisa’s been fooling around with the guy in the tux and mask, and both of them come back to get Funky?
But then they refuse to take him and he has a near death experience that can take up several weeks?
Sunday we will have Funky’s funeral.
Wouldn’t that be amazing, if a comic strip’s title character died? Tom Batiuk would have to retitle the damn thing then, wouldn’t he? On the plus side, he could start up funkyslegacyfund.org. The signature event would be a kind of carnival with bumper cars, a vodka-and-orange bar, free BPH screenings and a killer shark tank. The main thing would be a contest for families; they’d compete to ignore or be the most condescending to their offspring or parents. I’d pay money to attend that.
BC: And remember, it wouldn’t even be the first title character to die off in a TB strip (John Darling). He could change FW’s title to “Everyone Dies”, which would be perfect IMO.
In next week’s presentation of Funky Winkerbean, the part of “Becky” will be played by Mortimer Snerd.
Funky’s gotta linger a bit before he kicks it. So that his life can flash before his eyes.
Les’ glasses continue to bug the shit out of me. From the looks of this strip, an observer can see Les’ eyes, but Les himself looks out through a milky haze. Whatever. Les can sense death, or as he would put it “opportunity”, and accordingly, hovers near Funky, working on his angle.