Congrats to those who selected “something really stupid” in yesterday’s poll! If you selected “non-prescription drugs”, yeah, you’re technically correct too, I suppose. If you selected “prescription drugs” I’m sorry but you lose. That kind of reckless drug abuse might fly over at Mary Worth or Dilbert or whatever, but recreational drug use has no place in this comic strip. It just has too much potential to be interesting.
I would have assumed that Imodium was the OTC drug of choice for the average Westviewian, given their typical all-Montoni’s diets, but I suppose all that unsanitarily-made pizza could indeed have….uh…the “opposite” effect, as they say. This will conclude any and all speculation re: Alex’s (or any other FW character for that matter) colonic issues. A disturbing mental image, to say the least. At least we know where Wedgeman will be for the next several hours, but how happy he may or may not be remains to be seen. On the plus side, if he’s also on the WHS wrestling team he shouldn’t have too much trouble making weight this week.
Coming tomorrow: the evil Wedgeman doesn’t stop at fiber, also shaking Alex down for her blood pressure monitor, her walker and her AARP prescription card as a befuddled Owen looks on stupidly as usual.
Son of Stuck Funky 
i’m fairly new to this comic but maybe anyone know if they even have doctor in battville our do they have to drag Rex Morgon MD in ?
Owen has a look on his face of stupid admiration in that last panel. “You have regularity issues. Hawt!”
Is this blatant trademark violation, or is it product placement? I ask only because I can’t decide whether Batominc deserves a cease-and-desist or a go-and-continue-to-go letter.
Because if there’s one thing strange Goth girls are worried about, it’s getting enough fiber in their diet.
In other news, Batiuk has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt he doesn’t know anybody under the age of forty.
Metamucil? Seriously? METAMUCIL? I bet the 2007 Pulitzer Prize nominating committee feels pretty stupid right about now.
—i’m fairly new to this comic but maybe anyone know if they even have doctor in battville our do they have to drag Rex Morgon MD in ?—
I’ve always imagined they had a garden industry of oncologists opening up practices.
No, Rex found the homosexual scene in Westview too tepid even for him.
What’s Sexy Rexy going to do in Westview?
Go pedo on the anonymous gay teens?
Accidentally, try to hit on Sum-More and Keisha?
Attempt to turn Les Moore? Impossible!!! Les is already in love with another man….himself!!!
As to our pill-popping porker here…………wow for a comic that ineptly attempts to show the real life problems of teens….YOU HAVE ONE TAKING EFFING METAMUCIL????!!!!! While I understand some teens would have need to take metamucil, this isn’t something that makes interesting reading. Even worse you have the one character whose youth is the most questionable and you have here hocking regularity medication!! Batiuk is either trying to be meta or he really doesn’t know that he draws Alex like a 60 year old woman!!!!!
BTW, don’t most pills have what they are written on them in food coloring? You know, like how Tylenol has in red fucking letters that it actually is Tylenol and not goddamn codeine!!!
Actually, now that I think about it…Wedgeman might be illiterate, retarded or both. OK, you get a pass on that one, Batty!!!
Goddamn-it. Third post for me! (this strip is getting me funming!!!!)
So Wedgeman’s plan to get high was to rob geeks in the lunchroom. Just take a minute to think how stupid this sounds.
I was never a jd, but I have to imagine that there are much more effective ways to get your high on.
Especially considering Wedgeman is on the football team…there are numerous ways he get access to all types of pain killers and relaxers.
I think the real sad truth is this…..there are no drug dealers in Westview. Which is unusually cruel in my opinion. Apparently the people in the Ohio drug game don’t consider Westview worth their effort.
Unfortunately Tom Batiuk is planning the next three months on digestive problems in Westview and the tragic consequences that result from them. A major character will die! All humor (well…ahem… attempts at humor) will cease. TB will then reveal that the stories all were inspired by a personal battle he fought himself. The stories will end with every character in Westview receiving a colonoscopy. TB will then accept major awards and be showered with praise will onlookers questioning “when exactly did your comic become all shit? I’m sorry I meant to say when exactly did it become so full of shit? I apologize, I meant to ask when exactly did your stories become all about shit?” TB will then respond “you know, in a way it always has been.” As we all know, Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults (metamucil? really?) in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.
Couldn’t resist….
Oh, Wedgeman is gonna be hooked on these! Metamucil doesn’t cause diarrhea, and it doesn’t cause constipation! They are fiber supplements! The joke is on the author trying to make a joke!
Metamucil pills simply help those partaking in them to pinch a wide, healthy loaf! And with the amount of garbage a teen like Wedgeman likely consumes, it’s gonna be a blessing! That boy will be dropping a load each morning and be in Heaven! We’re gonna hear orgasmic cries from Wedgeman’s bathroom each morning! And possibly each evening!
And if you remember, the first ever strip featuring Alex, the one Batiuk forgot completely about when he reintroduced her recently, concerned her shitting as well.
Someday she’ll get her shitting problems worked out, I suppose.
Oh, hooray. Defecation is my SECOND favorite thing to read about in the comics pages.(cancer, of course, being first)
Maybe Goth Shelly Winters is taken those pill because she wants to make sure Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo visits her on Christmas.
@MKay:
You must really like MARVIN then.
Well, I guess even the author thinks that she’s not a teenager…
Ages ago in the Insane British comedy show The Young Ones – Rik (one of the four horrible University Students that the show was about) loudly announces that he is going to kill himself over something and then starts swallowing handfuls of little white pills. The rest look on – then Neil (the hippy speaks)
“Can you kill yourself with laxative tablets?” Neil asks.
“I don’t know” Vivian – the Metal head of the group “But I’m keen to find out.”
That was funny – this strip wasn’t like that at all.
So, Wedgeman just grabs a handful of pills and, without knowing anything about them, intends to chomp ’em down. I’m not a druggy, but I suspect even they are not that stupid or indiscriminate. This whole arc is dumb with a capital UM.
If this strip is a self-deprecating stab at TB’s struggles to make Alex appear within 20 years of teen age, or a response to our regular jokes about Alex’s age, it is actually quite brilliant.
Of course, this is giving TB way too much credit, but I thought it was worth noting because so rarely can a possible interpretation of this strip be described as even “good”.