The die is cast: Skyler is destined to attend Westview High and become the star quarterback who finally makes a winning team of the Scapegoats. Check out the futuristic football helmets! Check out that throwing stance (just like Jarod)! Check out how baby Skyler is already sitting up on his own at two weeks of age!
16 thoughts on “‘Goats of a Chance”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
I KNEW it! That IS the same physically impossible throw Jarod made. Batiuk, if you need to recycle art would it kill you to not recycle art that helps ruin the story? That’s kind of an important thing in a medium like comics that depend heavily on visual storytelling.
Not only is he sitting up, but it looks like he’s giving Summer’s old pal “Small Bear” the heave-ho. Good for him. Imagine being saddled with Summer Moore as your aunt (shudder). It’s kind of funny (not “ha-ha” funny but you know what I mean) how these people just can’t wait to inflict that special Westviewian misery on their offspring. You think that raising his kid in that town and shipping him off to that school would be the LAST thing any sane parent would want. Dare to dream, Boy Lisa, dare to dream.
I do like Future Skyler’s anatomically impossible throw, as well as that TV. The kid’s gonna ruin his eyesight sitting that close to that thing. Maybe when (guffaw) Jessica finishes her John Darling documentary (chortle) she’ll get an offer from a studio (um…yeah) and they can upgrade to a slightly bigger screen (tee hee).
Hold a second…what if Jared is actually Skyler from the future! I do see a resemblence in their bland facial features. Maybe Jared is like Cable from the X-men and has returned to the past to save Westview from a apocalyptic catastrophe……… Though admittedly, I can’t imagine any apocalyptic event making Westview any worse than it already is. It actually might be an improvement, now that I think about it.
Cripes, Boy Lisa is an underachiever, even in his daydreams. Instead of having Skyler play quarterback for the Browns or even Kent State, he’s playing for Westview High. Sheesh!
Yeah not only would Skyler not be able to hold his head up (never mind his whole body), at two weeks old he wouldn’t have enough coordination to hold anything, let alone throw it (anyone who’s had their finger–or hair–grabbed by an infant knows the “release” function is something that isn’t acquired for several months). Baby activity for the first several weeks is limited to eating, sleeping, filling diapers, and eventually smiling–something Batiuk would know if he didn’t limit his research on the topic to “100 Tired Parenting Gags to Use in Your Comic.”
Hey, Tom Batiuk: HOW IS BABBY FORMED?
In other words, Darin hopes his son will grow up to be a football jock like good ol’ Grandpa Frankie. And maybe take care of some wonky Martian girl in the back of a flying space van while he’s at it.
I don’t get it. What’s this have to do with Starbuck Jones?
“… unfortunately, there were no Scapegoats receivers anywhere near the pass! That’ll bring up fourth and long”
@beckoningchasm
They need to do way in stained Montoni.
…this is going to be like in FBofW when Anthony’s daughter was lecturing her birth mother that Christmas is about PEOPLE, not GIFTS at the ripe, mature age of “almost three”, isn’t it?
Yeesh louish.
Ah, well. At least we can rest easy, knowing that in ten months or so, Skyler will mysteriously be erased from reality, never referred to or acknowledged ever again.
At this rate of development, that kid’ll be working on the car by June.
Don’t worry, John — one day Skyler will meet Crazy Harry’s kids in the Bewitchin’ Pool, dive in and follow them to a happier world than he’ll ever know in Westview.
Editor: “Nice, Tom, but maybe you could save this one for Superbowl Sunday.”
Tom B: “What’s a ‘Super Bowl’? Everyone knows football ends at high school after the bully jocks impregnate your platonic friend and leave town.”
Editor: “Umm, okay. Well, what about the Starbuck Jones covers? Maybe keep the theme going after all the build-up?”
Tom B: “Exactly. After building up to more covers for another week i have to cut away for more tired gags and return to it once the narrative has lost all momentum. It’s called pacing.
This is clearly setting up the next time jump. At some point soon, Batiuk tires of the current timeline, as Les is happily married again, Summer’s off at school and everyone is happy. So he jumps the action ahead another fiftreen years, finally making the main characters his age.
We join the new act as Skyler, now 15, comes to Westview and Bull sees how he can throw and he becomes the star QB.
Les is now principal of Westview and bald. We find out Cayla has died some years back (Les needs more tragedy in his live and to date other women)
Summer has retired from the WNBA with a knee injury and comes to Westview to take over for Bull as head coach of the women’s basketball team,. Eventually Bull retires as AD and Summer takes over the whole athletic department.
Corey Winkerbean, wheelchair bound from war injuries years ago, comes to Westview as ROTC commander. He and Summer start to date and eventually marry.
Funky has retired from Montoni’s and Darrlin has taken over and turned the business into a huge chain. Funky is now therefore rich, but he fell off the wagon and Holly has left him. Funky and Corey now live together in a bachelor apartment and drink heavily. Will Summer and Corey marry before Funky and Holly get back together?
OKay there’s your arc Batiuk, get to work!