Prime retail space right in the heart of Westview’s famed Montoni’s District AND it’s adjacent to the town’s two surviving businesses…you have to pounce on that property, Funk-Man! That space is going to fetch a pretty penny per square foot…possibly even two or three of them. Someone savvy enough to open a 1940’s-50’s comic book-themed pizzeria in Kahn’s old spot would own that entire town within a few hours.
So Kahn has had enough of Westview, eh? Can’t say I blame him there, herding goats, avoiding drone strikes and scoring poppy pods sounds a hell of a lot better than standing around all day in an empty bankrupt deli while a bunch of rude fat annoying jerks completely shun you for some unknown reason. I can’t believe he actually BOUGHT his retail space as opposed to merely renting it, though. Man, did he get snookered, even if it was free.
As was pointed out in the comments yesterday (props to SoSF snarker bad wolf), TheAuthor has mysteriously changed and/or forgotten the spelling of Kahn’s name since his last appearance. Suddenly Khan has become Kahn, leaving snarkers everywhere as baffled and confused as they were when Les scampered down Kilimanjaro to race home and help Funky (Funkie??) name his ugly blue car. Perhaps it was all just a stupid mistake, however it definitely lends credence to the various theories regarding TB’s overall lack of interest and /or quality control in his long-running little saga. It’s going to be a while before he lives this one down.
Coming next week: Less, Kayla, Sumner and Key$ha enlist Darrin and Jessyca’s help when they discover Volume Two of Liza’s secret diary where she recounts her heroic (if ultimately futile) battle against lupus. Featuring Buddie the dog, Nutty Harry, little baby Schuyler and the Goodfairs, Anne and Ted.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Wally is just so funny looking in p2. Fat body and skinning neck/small head.
Back to Ahfukistand? Sure it’s gotta beat living in Ohio…Wally is thinking “take me with you…again”
Wow, I called Kahn/khan taking Rena(?) back to the homeland a couple of days ago I think. Maybe Funky will buy the space so Durrwood and John Darling’s daughter can expand their home. Sweet.
I guess Khan has enough experience and knowledge about America to become a decent #2 for Al Qaeda when he moves back. His patience at dealing with Westviewians at the ticket line in the deli, will prepare him for dealing with intensely inept people with out-of-whack priorities, so I guess it’s a descent lateral move.
I
K(h) a (h) n knows it’s only a matter of time before he’s forced into a Very Special Episode regarding prejudice towards Muslim Americans, and he’s getting out while the getting’s good.
I think the comic book-themed pizzaria could be a possibility. Except it won’t be as fun it sounds.
If only life would imitate art. The “real-life” Montoni’s…aka Luigi’s has needed to expand forever, it would be a blessing if one of the places on either side would go out of business and they could buy it and add more seating. Nothing more I hate than after the bars close on the weekend and there is a line to get my Italian on.
Okay, anyone want to take a shot about all the HOPEFUL stories Batiuk could have written with this guy?
1. Khan gets a degree so he can teach spies, soldiers and aid workers Pashto.
2. Khan starts working for the Red Cross in South/Central Asia.
3. Khan is interviewed by some local paper about Afghanistan, and his eloquent story manages to land him a book deal.
4. Khan gets angry enough about misconceptions and deliberately misleading newspaper articles that he starts a blog that tries to link up with friends in Kabul to tell the real story. With American involvement winding down it doesn’t get many hits, but a notable professor at a college is impressed enough by it to invite him to talk to the class.
There. Four ideas I thought up for Khan that don’t involve him losing everything. Took me less than ten minutes, and half that time I was shoveling cheerios into my mouth and comparing the details of Eric Flint’s 1632 series to my books on the Thirty Year’s War.
“Who turned out the lights?” Khan asked darkly.
Ahh, my favorite Tom Swifty.
Coming soon – Montoni’s Mega Pizza Superstore!!
The most miserable spot on earth? Afghanistan? Nope, Think again, Bruddah.
So after a 4 years of American citizenship and a decade of waiting prior to that, Khahn is moving back to Afghanistan?
It makes perfect sense, actually. Where are Cory and Rocky deployed? Where is Cindy embedded? Where is Barry Balderman these days? Yep.
Afghanistan, possibly the only non-Ohio location left in the Batiukverse.
I had forgotten that Khan was a black market procurer in Afghanistan.
Perhaps he’s going back because he received word that the Feds know that his deli is a front for heroin distribution. Goofballs would certainly sell well in Westview. Lord knows they need it.
I’m sure those ham hoagies will be a big hit with the Taliban.
So let me get this straight….Kahn/Khan hasn’t even -thought- about how to deal with these issues until RIGHT NOW, immediately before he ceases operations?
….there may be certain personal flaws truly responsible for his business failing.
“Hollywood” also still exists, billy, though apparently it consists of one production company that isn’t very well run.