I’m going to skip the dialogue in today’s episode, mostly because it’s just too stupid to acknowledge. What interests me most is the lunch lady’s face in panel three. That face simply screams That’s it. I quit. I refuse to listen to this kind of crap, from these sub-morons. I’m going back to being a greeter at Sprawl-Mart.
That, my friends, is the face of someone who has just been defeated by the Super-Friends for the second time…meaning that they have now chosen evil as a career. The Super-Friends thwart you the first time, well, you probably just had a bad break in your life and took to crime to feed the family. The second time around, though, means you’ve picked evil because you like evil. And you’re already preparing your third crime…revenge, against those Super-Fools!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Terrible dialog is right…am I supposed to seriously believe that Owen, a confirmed moron, is referencing the First World War with his little “joke”? Seriously, arcs this awful should make TheAuthor question whether perhaps it’s time to put these WHS student gags to rest for good. Ditto Cody and Owen.
Check out all that tape on that sign on the wall in panel two. I mean is it really necessary to go that far to indicate to the reader that the Scapegoat logo is in fact on paper and held on the wall by tape? Seems like overkill to me. But I suppose if even one person goes to bed tonight secure in knowing how that sign was secured to that wall, Kings Features is getting their money’s worth. Right?
Epicus, I’m going to bet that people have ripped it off so many times that they HAD to use that much tape.
And look, we learn that they actually DO have other food available. It’s just that Owen is a god damn idiot whose brain was sucked out by his chullo and thinks that cafeterias operate on the principle of hiding all the good food and giving the kids anti-food.
Which, to be fair, actually sounds like a reasonable assessment of Westview considering how callous, unlucky and uncaring most of the residents appear to be.
It’s easy to see that Batiuk crams the dialogue into pre-drawn boxes. Matzoh bread and crackers still beats Montoni’s in all consumer taste tests.
Matzoh bread and ketchup, doh.
Before this week, I would have said Batiuk isn’t trying very hard. Now I’d say he’s not trying at all.
Someone bet Batiuk $20 he couldn’t use the words “matzoh”, “ketchup”, “cheese” and “war” together in a sentence, and he lost the $20 anyway.
Since Batiuk couldn’t be bothered to try in Funky Winkerbean this week, I’ll snark on Crankshaft instead:
“And then all the children on the bus started chanting ‘DEAD BABY, DEAD BABY, DEAD BABY!’ Did you know little kids are kind of assholes?”
Yah, today’s Crankshaft rates pretty high on the Funkyverse Depressometer.
School food sucks. That motherlode was exhausted about fifty years ago. About the only way this week can be salvage is if School Bully busts into the cafeteria with two Glocks and opens fire.
Well the good news is that we haven’t yet seen Les in 2014.
The Superfriends would dramatically improve this strip, though. I’m thinking “Solomon Grundy smash boy with stupid hat!”
>>Since Batiuk couldn’t be bothered to try in Funky Winkerbean this week, I’ll snark on Crankshaft instead:
“And then all the children on the bus started chanting ‘DEAD BABY, DEAD BABY, DEAD BABY!’ Did you know little kids are kind of assholes?”<<
Actually, it's pretty odd that the first these idiot drivers would hear of this would be at the coffee machine after the fact………………
You know, I wouldn’t blame this poor cafeteria lady if tomorrow she laced the tuna surprise with ricin.That would be justifiable genocide, IMHO.
A lot of snark has centered on the idea that Batominc comes up with text to fill in pre-drawn speech balloons. I say that gives our favorite corporate entity too much credit. I think the writing comes first.
Let that sink into your mind for a moment. “I’m going for the matzoh bread pizza with ketchup and cheese left over from the war to end all wars”—that came first. Only later did the illustration, replete with the giant balloon and Cody’s sudden pencil-neck, come about to fulfill that epic text. And meanwhile, in the author’s mind, a dork rounds the bases after having hit a home run.
The only thing that could make Westview better is Batom Pharmacy’s motto: “We Dispense With Quality.”
Man, that lunch lady should become abusive. “What were you saying about sarcasm, you little shit?” Then dump that crap on a plate and smash it into his face.
Although maybe she should just ramp it up until Owen feels like so much more of a douchebag that he doesn’t come back to school. “Very good. Would your majesty like a beverage?”
I’ve never been a fan of TV Tropes, but today, it justified its existence by showing me the existence of that picture of Lex Luthor, which is one of the most awesome things ever.
Oh, the comic? Meh. Maybe this worked in Act One, when it was a young man writing the teen-aged banter, so they just sounded slightly wiser and world-weary. Here and now, they sound like middle-aged grumps who got confused on their way to Golden Corral.