Here’s an example of a strip that could have been written anytime within the last eighty years, and published randomly during that same time-frame…and probably has, by some other, better comic strip. It’s not funny, but at least it’s not full of all those Nixon jokes that Batiuk thinks are so hilarious.
Since this strip takes place in Westview, (“Where Dreams Come To Die”–city motto), it’s pretty obvious that the school gathers blood not for hospitals, but so it can sell it to medical laboratories. Those labs then inject the blood, which is almost pure carcinogen, into various bunnies, puppies and kitties so that, for the benefit of all mankind, someday, someday, Les Moore will be able to write another book.
Since this is Funky Winkerbean and this week has been far more boring than usual, I like to think that the bloodmobile isn’t some ambulance that drives around so a medical technician can take a pint from each person. No, I like to think the car (which is perhaps sentient) is covered with syringe-tipped tentacles, that it drives around way over the speed limit, running to trap its screaming victims, and that once they’re caught, it takes almost every drop of blood, leaving the victim just enough to stay conscious so he can watch while the car, laughing, pours the collected blood into the storm drain. How’s that for Le Sentence d’Batiuk?
Then I imagine the car parks somewhere down a dark alleyway, where it waits patiently for the next blood drive. Soon. It will be soon.
That’s how I sleep at night.
Son of Stuck Funky 
This feels like an installment of Archie, if Archie were populated by miserable manic depressives with absolutely zero redeeming qualities.
Duh. It’s pretty obvious that Westviewian blood would be completely useless to anyone but a fellow Westviewian, as it’s just too damn wry for regular people. Plus it has to be liberally blotted with some napkins to absorb the extra grease before it can be used. We’ve seen how that Westview hospital operates, no one’s going to bother going through all that trouble to prepare blood for people who will just end up dying anyway.
I’d like to see a few holes in Owen, for example one right behind the ear with a corresponding exit wound directly on the other side. For starters. I mean this is nowhere near the worst-ever Owen/Cody arc (that being the Summer one) but man, this is some terrible, boring stuff, even for a WHS grab-bag arc (grab-bag being a polite way of saying “all over the f*cking place”).
Oh man, that last line of dialog by Owen…”a hole or two”…that has Photoshop mischief written all over it. Sometimes TB just lobs those lazy fastballs right over the plate and you just gotta swing, know what I mean?
The Westview bloodmobile is double-parked outside of Montoni’s.
Beckoning’s bloodmobile is no doubt driven by Crankshaft.
Remember what was said before about Owen taking over as the teenage character? Yep, it carries on. The formula used for them just needs Cody to say a few lines as some nice wholesome character while the dumb, sarcastic Owen needs much more.
Surprisingly, the locker face is not smirking, in fact it’s actually remarkably similar to the face I make when reading this strip.
Owen, you live in Westview for Christsakes! You better start getting used to having medical professionals constantly injecting you with copious needles and drawing blood samples. I mean really. How does he expect to react properly during his first chemo session when he’s 21?
I recall in The Gay Prom arc, the big joke there too was that Owen and Cody lack compassion for anybody but themselves, they only care about ditching class.
…gee, one would almost think Tom kind of, sort of has a poor opinion of his modern teenage characters! And that he loathes this once every few months feigning of interest in them SO MUCH, that the only “joke” he can come up with is how BAD they are. Hmmm. Could be!