Atop Demerit Hill

Friday’s strip careens substantially more than ¼ inch from reality. There doesn’t seem to be any readily Googleable analogue to this situation here in reality prime. Using Google is all the effort I’ll put into this; it’s already more than Batominc puts into these plot lines. The Batominc plan is even simpler than that of the South Park gnomes.

  1. Draw some comics about a well-known social issue.
  2. Pulitzer!

We learned yesterday that “digital” shows Cindy’s age, in the words of her boss Dick “Baldy” McLitigationmagnet. This arc is turning out to be a perfect storm of things Batominc knows nothing about. Digital TV doesn’t have to be HD; I’m sure Cindy looks ravishing in SD 480i. Or at least vague and fuzzy. And current ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer is 68 years young.

As a member of the dominant boomer generation, Batominc’s stockholder ought to know that, as that generation ages while life expectancy increases, its attitudes about the visible signifiers of age are evolving. But that would require him to have his finger on the pulse of society. And there’s one thing about pulses: you can’t feel them from ¼ inch away. You have to actually touch the patient.

Batominc is bad at social observation, OK. Now, to be fair, he’s also bad at drawing his own characters. Or did Cindy get a sudden massive wrinkle in the milliseconds between panels 2 and 3?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

11 responses to “Atop Demerit Hill

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Boy, he’s swinging at Cindy with some heavy hands this week, right? What a hilariously inept piece of work this is. Fashion models reading the TV news…LOL. Everyone knows that’s at LEAST five years away.

    I wonder what the point of bringing Cindy back for this arc is? I mean he’s obviously enjoying the opportunity to kick the “popular girl” when she’s down, but what could this possibly be leading toward? The last thing Westview needs is another semi-regular, the strip is already lousy with characters no one cares about (everyone in the room turns their head and stares silently at Darin). It HAS to be leading to something, doesn’t it?

  2. What happened to Sleazy McBarfly? I’m sure he had a genuine purpose in the plot. Batiuk just wouldn’t throw him in because he couldn’t think of a way to stretch this episode to six strips, right?

  3. Rusty

    The third panel shows Cindy’s face creasing as the Botox finally wears out.

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    “It HAS to be leading to something, doesn’t it?”

    Obviously, this HAS to be leading to the opportunity for “Merritt Hill the fashion model” to play the role of Cindy Summers in the “Lisa’s Story” TV-Movie (the script for which Hollywood has just now recovered from its e-mail Spam folder). Batiuk is nothing if he’s not unironic or uncreative.

  5. bayoustu

    So ABC’s World Headquarters is located in an abandoned doll factory on the outskirts of town?

  6. billytheskink

    So ABC’s World Headquarters is located in an abandoned doll factory on the outskirts of town?
    Yes, and that town appears to be Chernobyl.


    Sounds reasonable. Hell I would watch the news more if Kate Upton were anchoring it. Hell I’m convinced the only reason I watch CNBC is for the hot girls they have on it.

    Really, can this really come as a shock to Cindy? She herself probably got the frigging job based on her looks, so now she’s going to be shocked that she’s been canned for it?

    Now, keep in mind that there is an easy way to rectify this. Namely plastic surgery. I’m sure a good boob job, face lift would do wonders for her. And it’s not like such activity is foreign to people that are on television. I know this sounds harsh, but CIndy kind of is to blame for letting her looks fade. This is media! Sean Connery wore a goddamn toupee for most of his career. If your gonna reap the benefits of media, your gonna have to make concessions to it as well.

  8. I think basically what we’re seeing is that TB is failing to meet his misery quota for the month of February. We’ve actually gone two full weeks without something tragic happening to anybody. Les successfully wrapped up his awful TV movie script and Holly successfully acquired a key issue of Starbuck Jones for a token fee. Westview was in serious danger of tipping it’s joy/sorry balance towards joy, and that state will never fly in the funkiverse. Cindy was just the next hapless character in line to be slapped by the heavy hand of fate.

  9. You know what would make this funny? If Cindy was being replaced by A ROBOT. Kids are into robots, right? Would a dinosaur be better, or a pirate?

  10. Charles

    Now, keep in mind that there is an easy way to rectify this. Namely plastic surgery.

    I was thinking more of the Jane Pauley/Deborah Norville brouhaha from the ’80s. Cindy obviously needs to shame ABC in the media for doing this to her, and demonize the woman they’re using to replace her, all while playing the horribly victimized nice lady who everyone loves and is adorable because she’s not a plastic surgery doll. She’s a real woman who has suffered, and knows about the important issues for you and your family. Some plastic ‘ho who’s spent her entire life in the makeover chair simply doesn’t have that human connection!

  11. @ Charles “Cindy obviously needs to shame ABC in the media for doing this to her”

    Ah, but that would require taking action, rather than passively complaining about how unfair life is, and how futile it is to strive. That sort of thing never happens in the ‘verse.