The Fickle Hand Of Fat

Link To Today’s Strip
I don’t know what it would take to find Funky’s “core” although a wetsuit, thick rubber gloves and some type of breathing apparatus would probably be advisable. I do know that if he tries to lie on that ball like Fitness Girl is doing, that gym is going to have quite a lawsuit (and possibly some structural issues with the floor) on their hands. And another shuttered business is the last thing that town needs.

Still, I actually mustered up a weak chuckle at Funky’s creepy leering today, thus this one is in the lead for “funniest of 2014” so far. Still a lot of room in that category, by the way. Poor Fitness Girl, whatever they’re paying her at that gym, it isn’t enough. At least he’s isn’t sweating all over her today.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “The Fickle Hand Of Fat

  1. With the recent re-introduction of Cindy, everyone was speculating on the emergence of a Funky-Holly-Cindy triangle. I’m thinking that Funky’s furtive pleasuring at nearly touching attractive female flesh proves that his memory of the flesh-times is not so distant, and that such a triangle is now in the offing. It’s kind of sad that this was so predictable. And as Charlie Brown once said about jellybeans offered by Pig-Pen, “…and a little bit nauseating!”

  2. Rusty

    When was the last time Funky felt anyone’s abdominal muscle, including his own?

  3. The next contemporary issue that affects young adults to be depicted in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner: sexual harassment suits.

  4. Gyre

    Why? Why would you ever write that? Whhhhhyyyyyyy!?

  5. As a recent inductee into the fitness world, I’d say it’s more likely that an instructor would make *you* lie on the ball while yelling “TIGHTER; PULL YOUR STOMACH IN TIGHTER” but then again I’m new to all of this.

  6. Gross.

    I wonder how long we’ll move between a week of “Funky at the gym” and a week of “Cindy is sad because she got fired for being old.” Good times.

  7. billytheskink

    The next contemporary issue that affects young adults to be depicted in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner: sexual harassment suits.

    I think Cindy’s “reassignment” indicates that lawsuits are no longer a thing in the Batiukverse. I will give TB this, though, he is not portraying Funky’s action as anything but creepy (of course, why portray it at all?). Contrast this with Luann, where you can practically hear Greg Evans tittering every time a male and female character get within 5 feet of one another… even when it is unwanted or inappropriate.

    Meanwhile, over in Crankshaft, the failure of the evil technology costs death a customer. I guess TB missed the boat in the mid-1990s when everyone was making fun of the Newton’s hand-writing recognition and is trying to make up for that lost opportunity by pretending “the cloud” is something that will jumble up data stored in it.


    Geez, between Rocky the female soldier and Fitness girl, Funky’s really racking up the restraining orders, isn’t he? If Funky ever gets in shape, The Westview police are going to have a very active sexual predator to deal with.

  9. Total conjecture here – Last week we saw Cindy drinking alone in a bar, before being shipped off to Cleveland, which will probably provide her an opportunity/excuse to drink even more. Are we going to see Funky, with his renewed vigor, save Cindy from alcoholism and re-kindle the old flame?

  10. Epicus Doomus

    My guess is that Cindy will somehow end up doing some sort of “human interest” story re: Holly’s comic book quest and he moved her to Cleveland in order to make the whole thing semi-plausible. Of course, that does seem a little involved and complicated for a FW arc so I won’t commit to that prediction fully.

  11. Chaos Clockwork

    Just….just nope.