Month: May 2014

Link To Today’s Strip

Here comes more boring BChasm stuff!   Sunday’s entry, as usual, was not available before press-time, but I’m sure we’re all craning our necks to look at a comic b0ok cover, with a couple of smirks thrown into a corner.  But at least (most of) the artwork should be decent.

I’d like to apologize to Tom Batiuk.  In my hasty look at yesterday’s entry, I didn’t see that Holly was clicking along with the rest, raising her bid to meet the rising demand.  I thought she was just cringing, and that she won the issue with her initial demand of $10.  Sorry about that, Mr. Batiuk.

Last week, commentator Aunt Fritzi noted that I was remarkably boring.  The comment got disappeared, but then I Les Moore’d until it was brought back, because Cory Winkerbean.  I don’t mind criticism, though I generally prefer it to be helpful or constructive rather than just a flat statement.

Still, I am, believe it or not, human.  So while Fritzi’s comment bothered me a bit at first, I soon realized something:  she was right.  I am boring, especially when writing about Funky Winkerbean.

But let’s face a couple of facts:  when a comic strip is deliberately constructed to be as boring as possible, how can one write about it in an interesting fashion?   Because I honestly think that’s what Tom Batiuk is doing–making Funky Winkerbean so dull and uninvolving that it becomes critic-proof.

Critic-proof works like this:  if you go to see someone’s violin recital, and the musician plays terribly, you can easily say why he was terrible.  He was out of tune, he played the pieces too fast, he missed notes–there are objective standards for performance that you can apply.  (Unless the performance was intended to be ironic, but let’s not go there.)

Suppose, though, that you’re not watching someone play the violin.  You’re watching someone buy a comic book at a drug store.  No matter how observant you are…what can you say?  “The way he pulled the five dollar bill out of his wallet–that was masterful!”  “Yes, but I thought he was too hesitant when he accepted the change–it took all the tension out of it.  And when he asked for a bag?  My God–talk about getting the fundamentals all wrong!”

See how that works–or rather, doesn’t?  Critic-proof, baby, critic-proof.

Besides, Aunt Fritzi, if I may quote a well-known Pulitzer-nominee:  “If you don’t like it, then don’t read it!”

Link To Today’s Strip

I’m writing this before I know what the strip is going to be, because I’m lazy and hate doing research, and only want to talk about things that interest me, like fungi from Yuggoth and the best pearl-handled revolvers.

Ha ha, just kidding.   But it has been a long, long week in the real world, so I’m not going to stay up until midnight to find out what kind of a let-down the week has been building to.  I know, I know!  Dereliction of duty, put that man in irons, Mr. Fibuli. 

Well, since none of us will know what Saturday’s offering will bring until midnight, here’s my speculation, panel by panel.

Panel 1 – Holly covers her face in her hands as the, uh, computer, um, announces the winner of the Starbuck Jones auction in the background.  That’s how eBay works, right?

Panel 2 -Holly says, “Oh, Cory, I only wanted to do something to bring us closer–”

Panel 3 – Holly, weighed down with several rifles and automatic weapons, heads to the front door.  “–instead, I’ll do something so you can remember me.”

I’m posting this before midnight because see: above about being lazy.  Let’s all meet back here tomorrow night at the same time, and we can talk about how Sunday a) wraps everything up nicely (yay!) or b) portends a second week of comic-book hunting (boo!).

UPDATE:  And the lamest possible outcome…one that no one, including myself, anticipated…turns out to be the winner.

Tom Batiuk, you still have the power to dazzle us.  Although I think “dazzle” might be the wrong word, here…