TB pivots from an industry about which he clearly knows little, to one that he professes to understand well…and still gets it wrong. Anyone who’s worked in or around the print industry knows that if a printer fucks up the job , he eats it; he re-runs the whole job at his own expense, not charging the client for a “correction run.” Meanwhile TB amuses himself, if no one else, by name-dropping himself, and (mis-)quoting his Crankshaft strip from a month ago.
21 thoughts on “Batom Comics VS Reality”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
There’s that patented Batom “arc drop” we all know and love. It’s time to revisit the OTHER fictional title that haunts the Funkyverse, good old Starbuck Jones. Usually it’s a real relief when he stuffs Les back under his rock but this ninety-five word assault is almost as annoying. I guess this confirms that Holly already has issue #1 thus we can conclude that TomBat is once again ignoring his own history in favor of nonsensical crap he just made up. It’s called “art”, people.
The wildly self-indulgent dialog carpet-bombing is pretty bad, but the alleged punchline is especially terrible. It’s not just that it makes no sense, it’s that gratuitous “Crankshaft” reference he tossed in there for no reason. He’s really getting into his Batom Comics fantasy, though. It’s nice to see someone finally enjoying FW for a change.
I’m not sure what’s dumber – this latest twist to “Holly collects all the Starbuck Jones comics” or “Les gets treated like a superstar in Hollywood and still whines about it.”
Hey, you know what this overlong, self-indulgent comic book quest needs? Crankshaftian malapropisms!
…Said nobody, ever.
Good heavens…Tom Batiuk said the comic book thing was going to wrap up in late July, as I recall. And today is only the 7th.
This is going to hurt. Of course, it always does.
I used to think TB pulled this stuff out of his ass instead of doing research. I now believe that he does diligent research and writes the opposite reality. I mean it has to be a statistical impossibility that he could be this wrong this consistently about so many things purely by chance.
What!?!?! My head hurts reading this garbage, cannot keep track of what’s going on!
How old are these characters supposed to be, anyway? I’m thinking Holly is late forties or early fifties, which means Crankshaft was probably in his early fifties when he drove her bus, unless he’s ninety by now. I know logic doesn’t apply to these strips, but throwing “geezer” around is bugging me, mostly because everyone in this strip looks old and haggard.
The closest real-world equivalent I can think of to this ‘correction run’ was a production error that occurred with an issue of DC Comics’ “Wasteland.” When issue #5 was initially published, it was printed with the cover intended for issue #6…which meant that the issue number on the cover WAS “#6,” creating the impression that they’d skipped an issue. DC reprinted the book with the proper cover the following week, and the next month, they published the next issue with a blank white cover bearing the words “The real #6.” It’s worth noting that none of the three versions affected by this error are considered to be particularly rare collectors’ items.
Incidentally, it’s worth noting that a couple of the contributors to the “Wasteland” comic have actually endured in real life the kind of hardships that Batiuk exploits in his strip. (Not to trivialize the actual suffering of real people by comparing it to Batiuk’s fiction…) Writer John Ostrander lost his wife Kim Yale (a talented writer in her own right) to cancer. Artist/writer William Messner-Loebs grew up with only one arm, but still distinguished himself as an illustrator…but he later experienced some hard times and at one point was in such financial straits that several of his comic-book industry colleagues put together a fundraiser to help him out. In short, these creators have suffered…but they haven’t made their tragedies the focus of their artistic endeavors. Batiuk could learn a lot from them…
Talking about suffering and weird comics, look at Fletcher Hanks. Some of the most bizarre stuff I’ve read, and apparently he was a total jerk and drunk who was found dead (frozen, I think) on a park bench. He’d fit right in in FW, now that I think about it.
“Batom Comics.” There it is at last, the true purpose to this insipid story arc: A celebration of the greatness that is Les Moore… I mean, Tom Batiuk.
It’s just so funny to me that #115 is the “rarest of the run”. Too bad Funky didn’t go back in time to remind himself to buy that one too. I mean I realize he’s just trying to spoof the world of arcane comic book trivia and the geeks that dwell within (because he loves the comics but hates the collectors unless their motives are pure like a mother’s love), but still, doing a riff on Holly berating poor downtrodden Funky because he once owned a copy of issue #1 in mint condition seemed so easy. I’m a little surprised that he passed it up, given how he loves beating on the Funkman.
Since Batom is a stand in for Batiuk, isn’t the implication here that Batiuk cheated out?
Great. A month more of Batiuk getting Comic-Con wrong too so he can tip the Funky hat to Tony Isabella.
Anyone who’s worked in or around the print industry knows that if a printer fucks up the job , he eats it; he re-runs the whole job at his own expense, not charging the client for a “correction run.”
Ah, but remember TFH, that in this alternate universe, nobody sues anyone for anything, no matter how egregious the negligence/error/trespass/breach was. So I’m sure Batom Inc. did nothing but mope around and muse about how unfair the world was while their printer kept their money and charged them again in order to resolve their screwup. It’s just the way the world works. No point in ever holding someone accountable for the damage they do, because that interferes with the passive aggressive smirking and wry fatalism that’s every person’s birthright.
Was there ever a civil suit brought that wasn’t simple harassment rather than a legitimate complaint? I know there was that thing about Gross John, but that was pretty much harassment, and while Batiuk fucked it up per usual, it shouldn’t have been a civil suit. I’m pretty sure all the rest of the law we saw Lisa practice (that one or two things that got mentioned at some point) was all criminal.
How much did DsH John end up selling FWs issue # 1 for?
Speaking of Lisa’s vaunted legal career, did she defend a death penalty case fresh out of law school? I vaguely remember that happening, talk about 1/4 inch from reality.
@Charles: Well, if Les didn’t sue the lab for messing up the test results, it isn’t as if Batom Comics is going to sue its printer for breach of contract.
What if King Features hired a cheaper editor who accidentally sent out reruns of US Acres (or some other schlock) in place of the rest of this month’s FW strips? How great would it be if the July 8-31 strips became the rarest of the run?
I keep thinking this is a “Major League” like ploy to field as bad of a strip as possible in order to drive fans away.
The mansplaining is so massive that it has weighed DSH John into a posture of hunched torticollis.
To quote Mystery Science Theater 3000 — “Oh the really unappealing characters.”
We leave Les in his hell of luxury living and in a neck snapping jump we are back with the godawful Starbuck Jones story arc “where joy goes to die.” and the old fav the Wall ‘o Text ™ – to start us off right.