Nothing Works Out If You Don’t Let It

Link To Today’s Strip

Good ol’ Cayla, always the affable doormat. “Oh, you’re spending the entire summer living large in an all-expenses paid five star Hollywood hotel suite and dining with movie stars? And I’m not invited? OK, whatevs, I’ll keep some lemonade on ice for you honey!”. Married folks everywhere are reading this and thinking, “uh yeah right, Tom, seems plausible”.

And then he returns home to inform her that the whole thing was for nothing. No big TV bucks, no fame, no future in the business, not so much as an autographed Mason Jarr 8×10 glossy. Nothing. But that’s our Cayla, always content with whatever scraps Les deigns to toss her way. She is, after all, a mere substitute who knows her place, which is directly behind the Lisa shrine with feather-duster in hand.

Look at Dickface in that last panel…(urge to kill rising rapidly). Har-dee-har har. Only Tombat could tell a story that takes years to unfold, have absolutely nothing happen then pretend it’s a delightful happy ending. Look at that moronic grin on his stupid face. Look at Cayla purring away in bliss…blech, just nauseating. And does anyone remember the part of the story where Les heroically fought for “credit”? I sure don’t. TB could have skipped this entire arc and just had Les reject the offer and it would have ended exactly the same way. What a sorry display. Thank God it appears to finally be over, hopefully he’s reached his Les quota for 2014.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

24 responses to “Nothing Works Out If You Don’t Let It

  1. bad wolf

    This is as close as we’ll ever get to Les saying “I was wrong”, and of course Cayla is never going to give him the “Yes you were” he deserves.

  2. Spacemanspiff85

    I imagine well still get probably a week of Les telling Funky about the movie while at Montoni’s. Then he’ll probably brag to his students about Hollywood. And I really wouldn’t be shocked if Funky’s ex-wife does a month long interview about the reality of making a (cancelled) blockbuster movie.

  3. Is it over? Is our long national nightmare finally over. We can only hope.

  4. bigd1992

    If only Les had died in the post office explosion……

  5. Apauled

    Will we also get to see Mason Jarr on Holly’s porch, asking to read her comic books? And then ensconced in the attic or her son’s room, perusing all 115 (or whatever the total number was) of them? Will she be annoyed at the intrusion or will she swoon at the movie star? Stay tuned!

  6. Adam Sandler would be a great Les. He’s great at playing trolls.

  7. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Even Adam Sandler wouldn’t stoop low enough to play Les Moore in a movie.

  8. Epicus Doomus

    I just noticed this and maybe it’s just me, but check out Cayla’s “bazoombas” there in panel two. Huge, right? What’s the deal there? he never draws her the same way twice. And look at her in the first panel, it’s downright subservient. Quite disturbing. She looks wasted in every panel, too.

    And my oh my, what a cavalcade of annoying Les faces today, I can’t decide which one I hate most. The disembodied head is up there, as is that last panel, but check out panels three and four…aaarrrrgghh, it’s torture.

  9. TB will never understand the racism and misogyny that his “beloved” strip projects. But today’s strip exemplifies them. And so it goes.

  10. Is it over? Is our long national nightmare finally over. We can only hope.

    I think you speak for yourself…for, unless I’m very much mistaken, I take over as guest host on Monday.

    For me, the nightmare is only beginning.

    Unless I’m wrong and I take over two weeks from now. In which case, carry on!

  11. The sad thing is that Batiuk is so blasted isolated, he actually thinks that having Beardo the Weirdo boast about a colossal waste of time and energy that could have been precluded by simply acting like a man for once and turning down the offer is something like a happy ending.

  12. So, what did Cayla do all summer, anyway? Her daughter and stepdaughter apparently never came home from summer break, and she had time off work too…I’d like to think she took a wild road trip to Vegas or something, but we know that would never happen. Probably just sat on the front porch like Odysseus’ dog.

  13. Andrew

    This one reaks of that stupid “Hollywood is corporate and money-grubbing and can’t handle artistic merit!” message. I audibly reacted in disgust reading this one and wish I could punch Les once again.

  14. Rusty

    @TheDiva: That porch swing won’t swing itself.

  15. sgtsaunders

    Welp. That’s it, I guess, and with no comic book cover Sunday edition! Superdupes! However, the question remaining is what Les will do with 70,000 “Lust For Lisa” t-shirts, cooling their heels in a Miami warehouse. Still … I’ll bet he keeps the “World’s Greatest Writer Guy” coffee mug.

  16. bad wolf

    I think i mentioned this before about Batiuk’s regard for Hollywood: As he states in his Feb 21 2014 blog entry and this interview from CBR March 19 2013, about the Crankshaft collection that came out this spring:

    “It’s a book that collects all of the baseball stories that have taken place in the strip, and there’s even a little story behind it. Crankshaft had been optioned for a movie, actually several times, and, on one of those occasions, baseball was to play a role in the film. The producer had asked me to send him copies of all the baseball strips that artist Chuck Ayers and I had done. On reading through all of those strips, it seemed to me that there was a book-like narrative thread that ran through everything.”

    Yes, those crazy Hollywood numbskulls actually knew his work better than he did, and were looking for a self-contained narrative that would work as a stand alone. And once you clear out all the filler, voila! Hey, that would work as a book, aka real art!

    I just wonder if that producer was the model for poor Clay Wallace.

  17. Flummoxicated

    I can’t think of a dumber ending than “Crotchety office assistant can see Le Chat Blew and Les comes home to sit on the porch.” Well done, Batom Inc.

  18. It does speak volumes about Batiuk that, whenever Les takes on a significant task (climbing Kilimanjaro, going to work in Hollywood), Cayla is not involved at all. At least with the Kilimanjaro storyline, he gave us a perfunctory reason for her absence (“Sorry, not my thing, you go on ahead”). This time, we didn’t even get that much.

  19. Apauled

    “[Cayla] looks wasted in every panel, too.”

    That may be what it takes to hang in there as the Little Woman for that particular husband.

  20. What do you want to bet that, around Christmas vacation time, a desperate Mason Jarr calls Les: “Les, we’re having some problems with the Starbuck Jones script, and we need your magic!”

    And Les is flown out to LA, put up in a five star hotel, manages to get Cory Winkerbean a walk-on role…and then discovers that the script is not true to the spirit of Starbuck Jones.

    And so he manages to get that production shut down, too. “Starbuck Jones is back where he belongs,” Les smugs, “in four-color newsprint between slick covers.”

    Any takers?

  21. bayoustu

    Could anyone not familiar with this strip (And, oh- how I envy those fortunate folks!) look at today’s offering and realize that Cayla is supposed to be African-American?!

  22. @bad wolf: GOD!!!! What an idiot!!! The people reading his garbage keep track of his characters’ comings and goings better than he can (or wants to); it’s like he’s male, Ohioan Lynn Johnston!!

  23. @Epicus: please tell me today’s post title is a Cheap Trick reference!

  24. Charles

    The first panel looks like a mural of Les and Cayla (almost typed Lisa!) on the side of the house because the perspective is screwed up.

    Batiuk blew the last chance at drama in this storyline, by skipping the moment when Les had to break it to Cayla that the movie wasn’t going to happen. If I had to guess, I suspect Batiuk would claim that the “Kill Fee” paid Les enough that Cayla wouldn’t protest about whether Les played a role in dooming the production and thus lost a lot of potential money in with this result.

    Anyway, the last stupid exchange for them shows how slipshod the whole thing was. It seems as if Les didn’t do any investigation into the history and intentions of this shadowy, awful Hollywood production company before signing a deal with them. If making sure that Lisa’s good name and the novel’s good reputation (PFFT) were that important to him, and the potential utter failure/stalling of the production was not that important to him, he would have chosen a better partner to bring it to the screen. After all, if one production company was interested, it’s not a complete pipe dream that another better one would express interest in the future.

    And his faces in all the panels and the title splash… What the hell does he have to feel so smug and proud of himself over? I mean, this isn’t exactly a dichotomy. Just because a production that veered so significantly from his source material failed spectacularly doesn’t mean that if it had remained faithful to his material, it would have succeeded wildly.