Greetings, folks, BChasm back in the slammer. You might notice there’s actually a teeny, tiny bit of humor in today’s episode. (Oh, our visiting character isn’t named in the strip, so I’m going to call him Dolt McMoron just for reference.)
Well, Dolt’s school is called “Diversity University Ironton,” which has got to be a hard way to introduce yourself. But notice on his shirt! Here’s the teeny, tiny humor! Get ready…see, the initials of his awkward institution spell out “D.U.I.”! As in “Driving under the influence.” Which is, as well all know, Bull’s shtick–he’s always drinking, carousing, partying without bounds, even during school hours–all while driving. His antics disrupt Les’ class (remember those 85 pizzas? Ha!), and his flatulence has been known to clear out the faculty lounge for a day-and-a-half! Ha ha ha.
Wait a minute. Actually, come to think of it, that isn’t Bull’s shtick. Bull’s shtick is to yell at his players from the sidelines in a futile attempt to make them win a game. (Heck, even with that magic-arm guy from last year–Jakov or whatever his name was–the team only managed to lose slightly better.)
But apparently, Ironton wants people like Bull. The whole idea that Bull has no responsibility for his team’s losses is par for the course in the Funkyverse. It’s those damned kids. It’s always those damned kids.
(By the way, how hard could it be to come up with a better name if you want to use the DUI acronym? Dacron University of Indiana. That took three seconds.)
Son of Stuck Funky 
When I first saw this one I thought “Whaaaaa? “Diversity University Ironton”? WTF is Author Guy babbling about today?”. Then I noticed the DUI…har har har. I mean come on, really TB? That’s just terrible.
And losing every single game for decades on end is not “doing a decent job”, Nate. Bull’s nitwittery and incompetence has been VERY well documented, thus the idea that a college would be “interested” in him is beyond absurd. But I suppose he has to segue into his annual football-related wordplay-based gags somehow, so why not bring in an anon-o-coach to act as Bull’s”straight man” this year? It makes just as much sense as anything else in the Funkyverse does.
I’m just thrilled not to see Les or comic books again. Imagine that, Bull Bushka representing an INCREASE in FW’s quality and/or tolerability. Stunning, but true.
Diversity University sounds like the name of a for-profit college that runs ads on late-night television. Not the kind of place that usually has athletic departments, although if they did I’m sure Bull would be the caliber of talent they’d be looking for.
Has Cayla ever done anything in this strip apart from giving a man someone to talk on and on to?
Akron Secondary School? Ohio Free University? Sycamore Undergraduate College Knoxville? Boulder University of Lower Lexington, a subsidiary of St. Henry’s Institute of Technology? Fremont University City of Kingsport? Seriously, it’s tough not to point and laugh at FW when it features jokes this poor. DUI…(shakes head sadly), offensive to anyone who enjoys humor.
Spacemanspiff85: There’s that. And sometimes she brings the gang lemonade.
They also have a campus in Delaware, which would have been more appropriate for this “joke”
Yeah, well, at least we didn’t suffer through Band Camp with the infamous Lefty etc.
Anyone think this might be Batiuk’s plea for people to be nice to those who do a decent job with limited talent, whether they work in sports, management, or maybe the newspaper comic industry?
Ah, yes. Bull. The avatar for the phrase “It’s a poor workman who blames his tools.” Heh. He’s Batiuk when he wants to pass the buck about the crap we see while Les is Batiuk when he’s being a self-satisfied prick.
I get the impression that this is a Batiuk standard “useless first strip of the week”, because I’ll bet that this week is about Bull and his newfound friend from “Diversity University Ironton”. (Seriously, WTF) Consequently tomorrow’s strip will merely be a repeat of today’s, only it’ll be Bull and this guy setting the sequence up. No new information will be provided. With Batiuk, you can skip a day!
Also, “Diversity University Ironton” brings me back to what I said earlier about Batiuk’s politics. This is the sort of thing that I’m talking about, because this is him taking shots at all those “diversity collegiate tight asses” who are PC and silly, which tends to run counter to other political beliefs he’s expressed. My feeling is that he doesn’t really have any deeply held political views at all, and merely expresses bland sentiments that he thinks appeal to his readers’ sensibilities. “Those PC people are crazy, aren’t they?! Why would any right-thinking person care about diversity in higher education?” And just in case you didn’t get it, he has the institution go by the inexplicable acronym DUI.
Everyone in this comic looks so happy today.
I guess banishing Les the emotional vampire to the west coast is allowing peoples’ hearts and souls to slowly heal. With that nincompoop out of the way for so long, people find that colors are brighter, music is richer, family pets have a bit more pep in their step, and there are more hazelnuts in toffee bars. Alas, all good things must come to an end. 😦
A way out of Westview? The sweet freedom that Cindy once experienced, and that Barry Balderman still does? Bull had better beg, borrow, or steal to get this job as the assistant to the assistant special teams coach at DUI.
Sure, it is a big red flag when a college football program is trying to fill out its staff the week of their opening game, but I would argue that the chance to get out of Westview is worth it.
Look at the worst case scenario; Bull takes the job at DUI, the program loses every game, the entire coaching staff is sacked, Bull crawls back to Westview and gets a job at Montoni’s. That sounds truly terrible, but really, if Bull stays in Westview he’s inevitably going to wind up working at Montoni’s anyways after being the victim of another failed school levy. Even if Bull’s failure at DUI is inevitable, it is probably worth it for the 6 months away from Westview alone.
As for DUI… Sheesh, I used to think Family Matters’ running joke about Illinois Occidental University (IOU) was bad. But, what can you expect from our exalted writer and his degree from the Jefferson Academy of Cellular Kinesiology at the Ashtabula School of Science?
Diversity is a bad thing in the eyes of Batom Inc.
This whole strip makes no sense. First, TB has obviously strained his creativity to come up with a college with the acronym DUI, and really there’s nothing at all funny about DUI in just about any context. Then, the “punch line” of the strip is the fact that this school’s “team motto” is “limited talent”. WTF is that supposed to mean? I guess it’s supposed to be a variation of the recurring “our football team sucks and we’re proud of it” theme, but this time it totally missed the target.
According to Google Diversity University is an online MOOC, and Ironton is home of Ohio University – Southern Campus. Which is… weird? I guess we could have a few days of Bull applying for a job only to find out the campus is virtual and the athletic team telecommutes… or something about satellite campuses and the growth of for-profit schools… but that would violate Batiuk’s aversion to things being a) interesting or b) topical.
“Oh, and you didn’t hear it from me, but we’re getting ready to cut the payroll by 30% when Bull takes his ‘talents’ elsewhere and we sack that shithead Les Moore for dereliction of duty….
“You’re what? Why would you torture yourself by marrying THAT guy? Maybe I should have remembered you’re Les’ wife, but I can’t be bothered to follow continuity since I Creator doesn’t.”
TFH: Yep, that’s our Nate all right, nothing really gets him too excited one way or the other. “Same-sex couples at the prom? Well, the handbook doesn’t specifically say it’s wrong, so I guess it’s OK, I suppose”. “The guy who runs our entire sports program might take another job right before school opens? Meh”. Westviewian to the core.