It’s SoSfDavidO here! Just in case we’re not sure that it’s Crankshaft playing Santa in today’s strip ,Tombat has lovingly drawn Santa’s face sliding off, revealing the bitter, unhappy alcoholic diabetic arthritic husk of a man underneath, which causes the already somewhat frightened child to start sweating bullets of fear in panel 2. Thankfully, today’s strip ends there, before Crankshaft can launch into an offensive tirade about Jews ruining Christmas, immigrant labor depressing wages, welfare mooches and what’s next, people marrying horses!?
22 thoughts on “Cranky Little XMas”
Comments are closed.
Son of Stuck Funky 
God this is dire. “Cranky’s a jerk!” Yeah, we get it, i’ve read the other strip you do. Did Batom just see Bad Santa? Hmm, 2003, could be.
Anyway, for a change of pace, over at AV Club they ran a reminiscence of the Doonesbury Special some of you may enjoy. Trudeau is quoted: “The matrix of relationships at the heart of Doonesbury yielded endless narrative possiblilities… I simply followed the characters into their quotidian lives, played out against a scrim of political and cultural context.”
In particular, the comments have a lot of fond memories of character-driven, funny yet poignant moments over the years.
ctrl-f : “Funky”
http://www.avclub.com/article/doonesbury-special-offered-disillusioned-generatio-212489
Batom® is blatantly phoning it in. It would be passable for a mediocre talent like him to waste away a week or two, but he has literally done NOTHING in Funky Winkerbean since August. Just week after week after week of padding, and crappy padding at that.
How ANY newspaper not based in Northeastern Ohio can keep running this garbage is mind boggling.
I really hate Crankshaft. Not in that visceral, blackened, revulsion and rage inducing Les Moore way, but more of in a “wow this Crankshaft guy f*cking blows” sort of way. Which he does. Blow, I mean. Big time. Seriously, f*ck that guy and that pitiful excuse for a comic strip he rode in on. The whole thing (Crankshaft) is just an excuse for Batom to vent over FW’s lack of success, popularity and entertainment value anyhow and we all know it. Get this crap out of here, it’s stinking up my garbage.
Apparently he’s spent all of his time plotting the epic conclusion to “Holly is Given Some Comic Books, Again and Again” and the poignant storyline that will end bullying forever. So what if the strips until then suck, just wait, people.
Okay, I admit. I laughed at Funky’s horribly copied-and-pasted head/stupid facial expression. “Funky’s Horror” should be included in the last panel of every FW strip from now on. It fits!
What we’re dealing here with is the mind-set of a vandal. Crankshaft clearly believes that since he can’t have nice things and since people who do have nice things are clearly only doing so to rub it in, he’s gotta destroy nice things to make the world fair.
You know, Crankshaft does indeed suck, but I’m coming to rather perversely enjoy him. I loathe the passive-aggressive smugness/gormlessness of the FW cast so watching them squirm in agonized helplessness at the prospect of (and inability of) having to directly confront an aggressor makes me mile. That’s right, you Westview turds — writhe and gurn at your own uselessness!
Whenever he plays Santa (yes, this is a patented Crankshaft running gag, along with pyromania and malaprops), Crankshaft is invariably drawn with the beard sliding halway off his face. It’s like the little don’t-give-a-shit cherry on top of the fuck-you sundae. Merry Christmas, kids!
I’m no great fan of Crankshaft, but I am enjoying the fact that this week’s story is essentially “Remember that time something interesting happened at Montoni’s? We had to bring in a character from another comic strip to accomplish that…”
I find it bothersome that a) this cruelty is being played for laughs as in “oh that scamp” and b) how easily this meanness flows from the author’s pen compared to how stilted and unreal his heartwarming moments are – it’s a bit disturbing.
I totally missed Crankshaft’s guest appearance in SUNNY STREET last year. http://www.gocomics.com/sunny-street/2013/12/23?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=social_post
So, Batiuk is using this crossover story to make the title character of his other strip into an even nastier asshole than he already was. Man, oh man, Sigmund Freud wouldn’t touch L’Auteur Glorieux with a ten-foot couch.
In real life I don’t know anyone who’s aged even half as much as the Funkster did in the course of just ten years. It really shows how much L’Auteur Glorieux despises the title character of this strip.
RE: bad wolf:
For those of you who may want to watch “A Doonesbury Special” I’ve just found it posted on YouTube.
Glad to see I’m not the only one who is enjoying this week’s strips. Perhaps Crankshaft did a Dorian Gray on Funky when he last played Santa, where he stole FW’s youth.
@Paul Jones: I admit that I was confused about the vandal mindset remark. Because that’s been Batom®’s overall mindset since his premeditated murder of St. Lisa the Cancer Chew Toy.
@Jim in Wisc.: Remember how Batom® retconned My Father, John Darling, into even more of a detestable lead character than what he actually was when he was alive? And we all know St. Les the Righteous Smirker.
Batom® is showing signs of outright sociopathy with the Funkyverse.
I bet tomorrow Crankshaft tells a whole flock of kids, “The only present you’re getting is The Complete Funky Winkerbean, 2012-2014.”
Now that would be the ultimate cruelty.
I like seeing Santas be annoyed at kids and mouth off to them, but this is pretty mean. Even by Batiuk standards.
If “The Complete Funky Winkerbean, 2012-2014” actually gets published in 2025, I will eat my Funky felt tip.
So the leadup to the big Socially Conscious Bullying storyline is a joyless old man being paid to bully unsuspecting little kids?