15 thoughts on “Saturday, Dec. 20”

  1. That TB is something else, man. I mean what a time to introduce some totally new and unknown character when…oh, I see, it’s Funky. He was smiling, which obviously threw me off. Never mind.

    Wonder what the test was for? White cheese cell count a little high? Body fat ratio still at a perfect 100%? The result was “negative”, so maybe an intelligence test? And why did he have to leave town for this test? Aren’t there like millions of people and several medium-to-large sized cities in Ohio? I’m still baffled, but I will admit that it’s nice to see Funky finally win, although it’s really more like not losing quite as badly as usual.

  3. “The result of your request for entertainment was negative.”

    So we still have no idea where he’s flying, or to what purpose. Except, as noted, that it will not be entertaining.

  4. If we had any clue at all what was going on here, this might actually have been dramatic. Batiuk likes to throw in cheap drama without any of the buildup to make it meaningful.

  5. Hm. Maybe Tom Battle-Axe really does have the Christmas spirit!
    Now let’s just watch and see whether or not this becomes a Lisa-esque dream sequence. You know the one I’m talking about. “April Fools…”

  6. The best I can think of is that Funky had a prostate screening a few years back that needed following up on, so maybe that’s it? Poor Funkman, he did his best to delay treatment and he still couldn’t get the cancer to develop.

  8. I knew that Batom® wasn’t going to off the Funk Man, because it’s more entertaining for him to be the strip’s chew toy for suffering. Typical dead-end Funky Winkerbean plotline, with no details or ending.

    My beret is safe.

  9. Doctor: “I’m afraid I have bad news and worse news.”

    Patient: “Gimme the bad news first…”

    Doctor: “Your test results came back: you only have 48 hours to live.”

    Patient: “Jesus, doc! What’s the worse news?”

    Doctor: “I forgot to call you yesterday.”

  10. Anti-climax from the king. Actually it feels like he forgot a strip in this arc – the one that explained what the heck is going on here. Which if true would explain why the strip he talks about in his blog or in interviews is far more interesting than the strip we read – he meant to do them but in the rush of events forgot but still thinks we’ve read them. Hence the references to things we have never seen.

  11. He had to get Funky on the plane because he is never alone anywhere else. Plus, airport waiting-in-line observations all week, his real motive.

  12. Aunt Fritz over at “Nancy” recalls good old R&R songs.
    Oh and KSU Ladies BB still loose

  13. (Imagine this in the same huge font that looks like handwriting.)

    Dear Mr. Winkiebean, good news and bad news. Good news is the tests came out great. Best test results we’ve ever seen. Incredibly great results. In fact, you can expect a congratulatory call from the President. Bad news is I’m the same doctor who mixed up Dead Saint Lisa’s results (thank CHRIST I never got sued from that!) and I just smoked my weight in uncut Colombian hash. Ha, I can’t even tell you what day it is! For the last hour and a half, I’ve been laying in bed staring at my toes thinking they look like little people. Anyway, your test results. They’re great. Just super. First class. Pretty sure, anyway. What’s your name again? And what did we test on you again? Man, am I FACED. Sorry. I’m soooo wasted! Peace out.

    Dr Chill

  14. Epicus Doomas asks: “Body fat ratio still at a perfect 100%?”

    Came VERY close to spitting out a breakfast burrito on that. Thanks. Speaking of which, what happened to the wildly successful Breakfast Pizza, designed and implemented by Montoni, Inc Global Corporate Chief Information Officer Durwood McBlondie? I was pretty sure his only employment was with the Montoni organization. Yet we never see him there.

    But I digress.

    Has ANYONE asked why Fatboy McGillicuddy had to get on a plane and fly somewhere to have “medical tests?” No doctor’s office or hospital within driving distance?? Did Westview General Hospital close when the Post Office and Khahn’s Deli went bankrupt?

    If you were some naive rube hillbilly who hadn’t waded through BatYalk’s time wasting filler before, you might ask what an airplane has to do with a story that appears to be about Fangul sweating out a potential medical crisis. Because if the thrust of this arc is his medical issues, he could do that in town. It’s natural, then, to expect the airplane to play into this drama somehow.

    But don’t bet on it. This wouldn’t be the first or the last time Batty appeared to be going somewhere with something, then jerked away from it back into comic books, school band, or some other mind-numbingly lame topic.

    So does the plane trip set up the medical drama, or does the medical stuff set up an airplane drama? Don’t know. But you can just about count on the whole thing having been pointless when it’s over.

  15. If any student at Midview High School tried to write a typical Funky Winkerbean storyline into a short story for English class, they probably would fail the paper and possibly the class altogether. Which is why it’s pretty obvious that no one at Midview actually reads the strip when they let him on their campus to get ideas for his strip loaf around and think about nothing but pizza, comic books, crappy puns and cancer.

    Details? Denouement? Research? Why would Batom® need any of those pesky little things?

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