“Nice to have you home son, even if it could potentially trigger an alcoholic relapse!” Props to Funky for being painfully candid with Cory about his condition (“…when my self-esteem bottoms out”? Lawd!). So ol’ Wade is still around…he was not looking so good when we last saw him at Christmas 2011.
15 thoughts on “Merry ChristmAAs”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
“Merry Christmas, son, your presence makes me want to drink!” Someone’s gunning for Les’ title of World’s Biggest Asshole…
Poor Funky, always totally defined by his failings. When his self-esteem bottoms out? What, you mean on days that end in Y? Couldn’t Batom at least wait until the tree was dragged out to the curb to start kicking Funky around again? I mean come on, it’s Christmas for crying out loud.
Either way, Funky needs him some Muscatel! Make mine a vodka orange!
I can’t believe how painfully bad that 2011 strip was. I stopped reading it in the paper everyday at some point, so I missed gems like that.
Based on the third panel, it looks as if Funky is already drunk. Really, he looks like he’s about to (horribly) break into song.
“When they find me frozen to death in the gutter on New Year’s Eve, know it was because of how happy you make me.”
It wouldn’t’ BE Winkerbean without a reminder of how pathetic the title character is or how alcoholism is a scourge that must be fought constanly.
Oh Lord. Brace yourself for the inevitable retcon about how much Funky has always loved and cared for Corey even when he obviously never did.
Batom®, even if you have never experienced a gathering like this before on real life, it isn’t that hard to imagine.
Too bad the Summer & Keisha twins never come back from college….nor does Maddie or Jinx. Oh… what happened to raven-haired fellow solider CW was with?
Well, at least it’s been a week and a half since Les appeared. I guess that’s Tom Batiuk’s Christmas gift to us.
“Yes, my self esteem has bottomed out so I’m going to have a loud conversation with my AA sponsor right in front of my whole family on Christmas Eve.” What a tool. And I’m not talking about the character.
@Nathan Orbal: It gets worse. Said “Funky loved him like his own” retcon will be so ineptly executed as to make the Great Comic Hunt look plausible.
If Cory’s character made any sense, we’d learn that he’d set up a Milo Minderbinder–style operation in Afghanistan, and was being paid to lay mines for the Taliban.
But that would be too interesting.
So right in the middle of this little Christmas get-together, Funky telephones his AA sponsor and has a conversation with him while standing right there amongst everyone else. You know, they’re exchanging gifts and making pleasant conversation and he just up and dials the guy.
Gotta make sure the conversation goes back to him where it belongs. It’d certainly be a travesty if the focus were on Cory in this situation.
Charles: Perhaps it would have made more sense if he called “Wade” while he was waiting for his test results instead of when he was sitting there calmly with his family, eh? I guess in Westview they drink to chase away the happiness, seeing how it’s so rare and all.