Moon over Jarr-ma

Whoever wrote TB a year ago and asked to see Cindy mope in front of a vanity, you get your wish in today’s strip. Despite her disappointment in not receiving a shower of Valentines Day gifts and wishes from a man she has met once and said all of three words to, Cindy maintains her rather healthy level of self-esteem as she talks to her vanity mirror (and butter knife, fake mustache, and jar of mayonnaise).

Interesting choice of words in panel 2, as TB uses of one of last century’s definitions of “mooning”. The definition more commonly considered now might draw a bit more attention from Mason, certainly more than those bags under Cindy’s eyes.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Moon over Jarr-ma

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Geez, can’t this clown ever just tell a story in some sort of coherent order? How long has Mason been in town? Was that their only “date”? Did she ever do the interview? Is he finished with the comic books yet? Why is an accomplished middle-aged woman, a major network TV talking head no less, acting like a child? How is it possible to get paid for churning out this sort of insipid drivel? What a farce.

  2. bad wolf

    Ouch… I’d been cutting him some slack this week thinking Batiuk wanted to have some (relatively) sweet Valentine’s Day payoff strip similar to the last two… but of course not.

  3. I’m going to assume that Cindy’s interview footage will consist solely of Mason wanking on about “chilly scenes of winter” or whatever the hell he said the other day. It ought to be a riveting 6 seconds.

  4. SpacemanSpiff85

    The worst thing about is this thinking that as Batiuk was drawing this he was thinking how hot Cindy is and how any man would want to get with her.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    SpacemanSpiff85: Now THAT’S disturbing, to say the least. Goddamned accurate, though. Shudder. I wonder how many of his “newer” readers even know who Cindy is? It’s not as if there’s a handy resource a FW reader could consult to get some background on these people, you know? I mean she’s been a bit player (at best) since Act III began and that was almost eight years ago. You’d have to be a longtime reader to remember that Cindy was always the “pretty popular narcissist” character. In fact, her most recent arc before this one involved her being fired from her job for not being hot and youthful enough, which kind of contradicts this whole sordid episode in a way.

  6. SpacemanSpiff85

    @Epicus Doomus: That’s got to be the strangest habit of Batiuk’s. He’ll bring a random character like Bull’s hot daughter for a day or two with no explanation, and then act like characters who were pretty important a few years ago (Summer, Cayla, Maddie, Rana) don’t exist.

  7. Please, Tom, stop trying to write women. It never ends well.

  8. DOlz

    @TheDiva, or draw them.

  9. JerrytheMacGuy

    Former news anchor Cindy is still ticked off at Brian Williams for not bringing her back from Iraq a piece of the helicopter he told her he got shot down in.

  10. Uh-oh. The banner. That guy looks way too familiar. If this guy is who I think he is, I’m sensing MAJOR trouble (and more horrible writing) ahead of us!

  11. Great. Not only do we get Batiuk’s “I have no idea how women think but I imagine it would be something like this” turning Cindy into Elly Patterson’s man-hungry abomination sidekick Connie, we’re in for a really bad arc about a health scare.

  12. Rusty

    I hope this isn’t Batiuk’s timid way of implying that Cindy and Mason Jarr, the movie actor, had sexual relations last night. Mason Jarr, breaking hearts and taking names. And reading comic books and drinking hot cocoa.

  13. Charles

    I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that at its core, this sequence went back to one of the same tired things Batiuk flogs when he’s feeling inferior.

    You know, there was a resident of Westview who got a callback from the famous sexy movie actor Mason Jarr. There was someone who was worthy of his time and attention, whose realness charmed the otherwise jaded man. In fact, Mason Jarr is with that person as Cindy is whining to her mirror about how she should be good enough for him, and spent the night at his place rather than hers last night. He’s also going to spend Valentine’s Day with him rather than Cindy.

    Yep, it’s just more Les aggrandizement. Boy Cindy, I bet you thought you were hot shit, but compared to Genius and More-real-than-you Author, you’re nothing. He can get what you want without even trying.

  14. Hadda Mae Kapupe

    No, I’m not here (again!) to ask why Cyndi, classmate and ex-wife of 54-going-on-70 year old Funky, looks like she’s 25. I’m here to ask why she looks SEVENTEEN!!! And acts it, too.

    What are you doing here, Tommy Boy? Yes, there is such a thing as a youthful, still attractive 50-something woman. But the attractiveness also includes lines and sagging that NOBODY can avoid. Only reasonable conclusion is BatHump lacks the talent to draw a woman who is both older AND attractive. Okay, fine. So be it. But you can’t retcon a character who had always been a contemporary of Les, Funky, Holly, and Beardo McMailman into just some random pretty girl who would routinely date 30 year old guys (even if HE sometimes looks 45).

    I might have bought it (in spite of the miserably awful artwork) If their conversation included self conscious quips about the significant difference between their ages. But the way it’s been going, it’s like Batty himself doesn’t know how old this character is supposed to be — or thinks we don’t.

    Meanwhile, I suppose we are meant to conclude that Masonn Jar (original name: Tin Cann) Gave Cyndi a gallop on his baloney pony, zipped up, and said he’d call. Isn’t that always the way? The cad. Probably on his way to the airport right now.

    Good thing everybody in town hates this bitch, or he’d get a good talking to or a knuckle sammitch.

  15. Hadda Mae Kapupe

    Oh! Anyway, if there’s a point to this storyline, it’s this: If you bring a monkey home, he will throw his own poop at your walls and eat your face. If you bring a Hollywood Movie Actor home, he will bang the hottest chick in town and abruptly leave.

    So now, Batyuck’s Official List of Evil Things now includes:

    1) Technology
    2) The Internet
    3) Teenagers
    4) Wall street
    5) Talk radio
    6) Stuck Funky and his Son
    7) People who reject tax increases
    8) Hollywood Movie Actors

    Please make a note of that.

  16. Jimmy


    Anyone could have guessed the horrible writing part. I’m not familiar with this harbinger of things to come. Please don’t tell me, as I’m assuming it’s a recruiter from Eastern Michigan looking to pick up a Westview Scapegoat wide receiver a mere two weeks after national signing day.

  17. bad wolf

    i don’t recognize the header, unless it’s the mysterious Monroe?

  18. @bad wolf: Oh, okay, thanks. I thought that Les and company were about to (somehow) go and meet the President. Whew!

  19. Epicus Doomus

    Without giving anything away, it’s not what you might think it is and it’s way, way dumber than anything any of us could imagine. Believe it.