Hi folks! SoSfDavidO here with another sneak peek into the workings of what went into making a comic book way back in the early 2000s in today’s strip!
Hoo-boy. Absorbing Junior. I’m assuming his sidekick has the same lame powers his big pal Mr. Sponge has but he can’t absorb as much. We’re talking pints to Mr. Sponge’s gallons.
If I know one thing about comics, (and this goes for books and movies, too) it’s that the target demographic wants a character they can not only identify with but fantasize about being. This is why Wolverine and Superman are so popular. Who wouldn’t want to fly, or be an invincible bad-ass?
This is also why Fantastic Four sucks so much. What kid wishes they could stretch their arms really long or be stuck as a walking orange cinder block? And the Invisible Woman? Geez, could that be more offensive? Johnny Storm is kinda cool but he’s a bit of a douchey showoff.
I’m trying to imagine some universe where Mr. Sponge could last as a super hero past a MadTV skit. It’s like watching Hell’s Kitchen and everyone is ordering risotto for a appetizer. It’s so dumb it’s baffling.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Well, Mr. Fatbald Stogie is so clearly the Designated Villain that it’s almost counter-intuitive. The fact that he knows nothing about comic books seals his fate, though.
“What if we bump off his sidekick?”
“You mean kill Absorbing Junior?”
“I believe that’s exactly what I said. Why are you repeating it as a question using different words? Are you implying that I don’t know the names of the characters I publish? You’re fired, kid. Don’t bother cleaning out your desk…everything in it belongs to us, anyway.”
Coming next week: After the “death of Absorbing Jr.” issue is released to huge commercial success and critical acclaim, Pete is aghast when his publisher forces him to release all of his Absorbing Jr. stories in book form. He then writes a series of issues involving Mister Sponge writing a book about Absorbing then going on a book launch tour to promote it. No one is annoyed, irritated or driven to rage by any of this.
Who the hell daydreams about scenarios that are even worse and/or more boring than the one you’re in? In “reality” Pete volunteered his comic-trashing idea, but in this stupefying fantasy sequence he’s being forced. I told you these comic book-centric fantasies of his were getting weirder and weirder. It’s hilarious that after creating that whole little mythology for Batom Comics his “vision” of it is straight out of an old variety show skit from the 1950s.
And after ten days and a trip to the imaginary past, the story is STILL stuck on the “Pete has to trash Mister Sponge for quick profits” premise. In fact he’s just getting to it (again) now. And he wonders why the whackadiddles and totter twits are always all up in his shit re: the hackery.
Wait, what? Where is he going with this? Are these “Sponge” characters cloned or dead? I lost track.
And once again, is this supposed to be some lame explanation as to why Batom treats his characters like dirt?
Given that this is what Pete’s imagination comes up with, it’s no shock Sponge sales are down.
Thundering JESUS but this is dull. Forget not wanting to be an orange cinderblock who absorbs “Funny….you don’t look it.” jokes. I can’t see anyone wanting to identify with mopey suburbanites whose imaginary lives are even more bland and bleak than reality.
Take THAT, Death of Superman (January 1993)!
This just in from the Sports Desk….. Kent State women’s Basketball season ends on a 5 game losing streak. Overall they finished 5-25.
All scholarships have been revoked.
Please, these are comic books we’really talking about. Nobody stays dead, except Uncle Ben and Bruce Wayne’s parents.
I think it is reasonable to assume that Mister Sponge replaced Absorbing Jr. with a new sidekick named “Bud”.
I suppose next they will set up a 1-800 number to have the fans vote yes or no – on the sidekicks death.
Absorbine Jr = Absorbing Jr.? What other consumer products can he steal? Perhaps he has a sidekick Benjamin Gay, a nemesis Dr Scholl?
I could also point out that Pete’s boring fantasy doesn’t make any sense as I thought “Mister Sponge” was his creation and didn’t even exist back in the late 50s or whenever this is supposed to be taking place. But then again, none of it makes any sense to begin with so what’s the difference?
“… we won’t have a hero!” According to that over-detailed blog, Mister Sponge was one of a half-dozen or so Batom characters–including Starbuck Jones himself!
@Epicus Doomus, “Who the hell daydreams about scenarios that are even worse and/or more boring than the one you’re in?”
Just the other day, I fantasized about working in a cubicle 45 hours per week as an insurance adjuster in Bismarck, N.D. The walls were plain beige with no decorations, and I took a brown bag bologna sandwich with mayo on white bread every day. Oh, and I got to wear short sleeves on hot days, and sometimes I would wear a whacky hat on Fridays.
It was glorious and exciting. *Sigh*
http://www.newsnet5.com/news/local-news/akron-canton-news/akron-police-searching-for-someone-who-pooped-on-19-parked-cars
@bigd1992: Yeah, that story is all that I’ve been hearing all day. It’s not an Ohioan thing, but there are a lot of morons here.
I just like the idea of the two goofy kids crapping on Les’s car.
So Mopey Pete is writing a book too? Is anybody from Worstview NOT writing a book? Maybe they should rent a bus so Les, Mopey, Dingle, Fishstick Annie, and all the other best selling authors in that town can pool their resources and go on one giant nationwide book signing tour. They could book the convention center in every major city.
Then BatHack can wink and say, “Successful authors. I made them.”