Someone Told Me Mason Jarr’s Out There

Link To Today’s Strip

So Cindy’s goin’ to California, with love in her eyes and (presumably) a f*ck-ton of peroxide in her hair. “Safe travels”…I don’t know about you but that’s sounds like Westviewian for “uh-oh”. But seriously though, you know what’s particularly irksome about this one? It’s the way Cindy’s dialog and actions seem to indicate that they’ve just had a fruitful and useful conversation when in fact it was anything but. Funky laughed at her, then he mocked the internet, then he sat there, then he wished her well. Either Cindy is REALLY mentally troubled or someone’s a REALLY terrible storyteller.

Coming next spring: After being booted off Buddyblog upon becoming impossible to look at, Cindy moves into radio, only to be told that her voice is simply too raspy and unappealing for FM broadcasts. After a brief stint on the AM dial (doing weather and traffic on the Radio Ron morning show), she takes a podcast gig only to be relentlessly mocked by the locals for getting herself involved with that whole The Internet scam. Then she goes home and quietly waits to die.

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21 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Someone Told Me Mason Jarr’s Out There

  1. sgtsaunders

    Dash Riprock!

  2. Epicus Doomus

    “I’ll drive out to L.A…”, is Cindy aware of the existence of phones?

    sgtsaunders: Rockery Hudpeck!

  3. Maybe, after her voice is condemned as too harsh for radio, she gets a job doing the devil’s voice in an Exorcist remake?

    Lifehack tip, Cindy–you can open your umbrella before setting out into the rainstorm that will, undoubtedly, cause your chartered plane to crash into a burning swamp.

  4. SpacemanSpiff85

    This is the baffling thing about Cindy, perfectly displayed. She’s simultaneously too haggard and old for any kind of TV, and yet also involved with the hottest star in Hollywood. When you’re writing they tell you to get someone else to read your work before you publish it. I kind of get the impression Batiuk doesn’t even stop a second to think about it to see if it makes the least bit of logical sense after he’s written it.

  5. Hey, any job is a good job if it means she gets to leave Westview again.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Fired Anchorwoman Arrested At Star Jarr’s LA Home

    Former ABC and Channel One television news personality Cindy Summers was arrested for trespassing and public intoxication at the front gate of the home of “Starbuck Jones” star Mason Jarr, police sources said. A disheveled and distraught Summers was treated by paramedics and taken to a hospital for further observation. A visibly annoyed Jarr had no comment.

    Local Gazebo Vandalism Spree Baffles Cops

    Police are seeking the identity of a local vandal who spray painted “CS+MJ” on seven local gazebos early Sunday morning. Police surveillance cameras captured an image of the perpetrator, a blonde woman in her mid to late seventies.

  7. Rusty

    It’s at least realistic that Cindy can’t find a suitable love interest in the Greater Cleveland/Westview megalopolis.

  8. A simple “I think I’ll fly out to Culver City and check it out” would have been sufficient, no? Or better yet–this part could have been included in one of this week’s earlier strips. Then the two-panel thing wouldn’t be as awkward and these Westview people wouldn’t have to go around constantly explaining and repeating. But nooooo. TB always wants to do it *his* way, or so help him, he’ll have someone shot..!

  9. Nathan Obral

    And this strip runs the same morning that a well-respected NYC reporter – who not only was similar to Cindy in appearance and age, but was also a Cleveland native – passed away.

    I’m shaking my head as to how unintentionally ghoulish this is.

  10. Great. A week of his being the same verbally abusive, demeaning jackass he was when they were married followed by his insincere well-wishing. What was the point of this aside from being a showcase for the fact that we’re actually supposed to sympathize with a fat, selfish scoundrel?

  11. Jimmy

    When Mason Jarr the Movie Actor was actually shown in the strip, we had to be costantly reminded of his name. Now that he’s off screen, the casual reader is supposed to get a sly reference to him.

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    Mason Jarr ? Hahahahaha, aw Tommy, you crack me up.

  13. Cindy is turning into Aldo Kelrast!

  14. Unless she has a time machine, Cindy will fly to Los Angeles, then drive to Culver City, because 1) the Culver City airport closed 65 years ago, and 2) Culver City is almost entirely surrounded by the city of Los Angeles. So we can add L.A. geography and history to the list of things BanTom’s crack research team knows nothing about.

    Yada, yada, yada, 2 minutes on Duck Duck Go was all it took to learn the history of the Culver City airport.

  15. Saturnino

    because 1) the Culver City airport closed 65 years ago

    http://www.airfields-freeman.com/CA/Airfields_CA_LA_W.htm#culvercity

  16. Epicus Doomus

    Those darned modern airports with their paved runways and fancy terminals…bah, who needs them?

  17. Okay, I probably missed something because the strip is so boring, but didn’t Cindy come to Funky for advice? Did he give her any advice, other than “coupons”?
    Another week of nothingness stretched out mercilessly.

  18. Rusty Shackleford

    Batiuk shows that you can get paid for doing next to nothing. What a racket the comics page is.

  19. I wonder what next week’s exercise in ennui and smugness will be. Perhaps Les will talking about his irritating graphic novel about the Mackenzie sisters from Crankshaft again.

  20. Rusty Shackleford

    Crankshaft drives Cindy to LA ?

  21. bad wolf

    Sometimes i think “well, i don’t know where this is going, so maybe i should just wait for the full week to see what it adds up to” and come Saturday, all it added up to was filler. Not sure if i need to be more or less critical.