Petebusters

It’s Badly Drawn Beard Guy’s turn to speak. Mega Comics has “leaked the news” (no doubt via an anonymous Tweet) of the coming Spongeclone Saga, and cover artists are fighting over the gig like it’s Starbuck Jones. Naturally, Pete immediately balks at the prospect of tripling his workload—it takes all his strength to produce one monthly comic, let alone three! His superiors, no doubt acutely aware of Pete’s goldbrick tendencies, have already brought in an acclaimed and expeienced comic book writer “a guy who’s written a movie script for Netbusters,” which avid hate-readers of Batiuk’s strips will know  is where members of the Crankshaft household rent their movies. No doubt TB means to suggest that a “Netbusters” movie is barely a notch above “straight to cell phone.”

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21 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Petebusters

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    I like how yesterday they were talking about two new books like they were just a possibility, but apparently they’ve already leaked the news (what is with the stupid leaks? Comic companies actually do announce stuff ahead of time, like all the darn time), but Pete’s completely clueless about it. And a lot of the big name writers do write multiple comic books. Geoff Johns is actually one of the head editors for DC and he writes multiple books. So for Pete to immediately whine about not being able to do it is pretty lame, but totally in line with his character.

  2. Nathan Obral

    St. Darin the Fair Good looks like he had his face beat in with a golf shoe.

  3. Nathan, no one can blame you for mistaking Nameless Comic Book Editor #3 for Darin, especially since he’s gone from brunette to blonde since last we saw him.

    TL/DR but here’s an archived Geocites Funky fan page, notable mainly for a cute pic of a younger, funnier Tom Batiuk.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    “Take THAT comic book business! Ha-HA! How do you like me NOW, Hollywood! Boom! F*ck YOU Netflix!!! Bam! Guest artists line UP to draw for ME, bitches!!!!”.

    Even though it makes next to no sense story-wise, who could blame them for wanting to dump Pete? All he ever seems to do is either mope or complain and usually it’s both. Imagine dealing with that sad-sack every work day? Blech. And now BanTom hates Netflix too? Geez, it never ends.

    Coming next week: FW’s new “Things I Hate About The Entertainment Business” format kicks into overdrive as the strip takes a cynical look at Ohio’s harness racing circuit, followed by a scathing takedown of Westview’s Bigfoot hunting scene.

  5. Given the good things I’ve heard about Netflix’s Daredevil series, this sounds a lot more sensible than Batiuk probably intended.

  6. Guest Page Turner Author

    Why is he complaining about getting more work? He could probably quit that second job as a Montoni’s busboy in NYC if he gets to write this crap. Whoever heard of an artist living in NYC balking about getting too much work to do, in the field he moved to NYC to do? Never mind that it’s work he initiated himself thru these storyline suggestions. Uggh, as usual, just Uggh.

  7. Guest Page Turner Author

    I forgot, Montoni’s had to shut down their NYC branch a few years ago. I guess Pete is worried about his busboy shifts at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company in Times Square.

  8. billytheskink

    Surely Netbusters is the leader in the straight-to-cell-phone movie industry. There is no way they passed on the opportunity to use “who you gonna call?” in a marketing campaign.

    So these Mega Comics guys called Pete into a meeting to tease him about how much work someone else is going to do on these TAMS spin offs. That’s a pretty terrible way to treat a person, and yet, I admire the effort that went into it.

  9. I think that we’re getting into personal territory here; that’s because I can’t help but think that these three are stand-ins for the suits who wanted someone else to write John Darling because the quality of all three of his strips was starting to flag.

  10. JerrytheMacGuy

    Somewhere across this great land, there are young boys and girls who dream of becoming comic book artists and writers like their DC and Marvel storyteller heroes.

    If you know a child like this, encourage them in their artist pursuits, help them hone their writing and drawing skills, be there when we they need a helping hand and a positive word.

    But for God’s sakes, do not let them see this depressing arc about the alleged assholes in the comics publishing trade. Talk about poisoning the hopes and dreams of our next generation of comic book writers and illustrators!

    Won’t Tom Batiuk think of the children?!

  11. Rembrandt36

    Bat Tom doesn’t think about the children. He creates them and then has them disappear.

  12. Chyron HR

    Pete: I don’t have time to write three books! Do you know how many hours a day I already spend hallucinating about The Lord Of The Late?
    Bearded Editor: Pete, are you on…
    All 3 Editors: DRUGS?!

  13. Nathan Obral

    This is a systematic, point-by-point rebuttal of everything Batom® has been blathering about regarding the comics industry. It’s well worth the read just to see how much Batom® is behind the times.

    Here’s the true irony. I was recently approached by the director of the Lorain Public Library System to lead cartooning instructional seminars at every branch in the system this summer as part of their young adult reading program. One of their branches – Columbia Station – is a few minutes away from Midview High School.

    Oh, and the theme for the summer reading program this year? SUPERHEROES.

  14. sgtsaunders

    So… what job will Pete get at Montoni’s? How about drawing comic book style placemats?

  15. captaincab

    Anyone remember a strip from 2008 where Pete was speeding in a sports car and was stopped by a police offer but then got out of the ticket by cracking a cheesy joke which lightened the cop’s mood? So take it on the chin, Roberts, you morose moron. Because, hey, it’s just more money to fuel your freewheeling, hotshot, sports car driving dream life that all comic book writers enjoy (snicker) as they moonlight between important guest work on Superman and Sponge clone story lines!

    Seriously, Pete drives me nuts. He seems like an inoffensive, innocent enough guy and he’s one of the few, if currently the only character in the strip to properly and completely break away from Westview after the jump to have what most would view as a very interesting career based on what he loves and he just wants to find any way he can to whine about it.

    And man, that beard just gets worse every day, in panel one it looks like a giant club sock and in panel 2 it’s swiging to the left again as if Batiuk is worried either he or the readers will forget that the guy sitting over there has a beard. Or maybe he keeps drawing the beard wrong but then instead of correcting it or starting over he just adds more ink to cover up his mistake? Sloppy, ugly work. Just a pure eyesore.

  16. DOlz

    @Nathan Obral, Congratulations that sounds great and like a lot of fun. You had mentioned they had approached you in an earlier post, but left out the details. So thanks for letting us know what it’s about.

  17. Jim in Wisc.

    @sgtsaunders: Maybe he can restore those elaborate Italian countryside murals painted on the walls, which seem to have faded to a uniform shade of beige over the years.

  18. I don’t think very many children read this strip so I think the industry will be okay. My guess is that most people look at the morose faces and simply skip over to something interesting like Garfield, the Sudoku column or Sex Organ, MD.

  19. DOlz

    I’m reposting hitorque’s comments from the Comics Curmudgeon today cause they are very good.

    “FW: “Netbusters”?? Isn’t that a soccer highlights TV show??

    FW 2: “You see Pete, that’s why we’ll be going in a new direction…You’re a half-decent and perfectly servicable writer, but in this office we like positive employees with ‘can-do’ attitudes instead of your “angst-filled teenager in a grown man’s body” -vibe that you constantly project…When we give objectives to our writers, we want them carried out in a prompt and professional manner instead of hearing whiny complaints of negativity for weeks on end about why you can’t do this or that…Go down to the HR office on the first floor, and they’ll guide you through our exit paperwork and procedure…I wish I could say it was a pleasure working with you, but that would be a HUGE lie…Live long and prosper, Pete…

    FW 3: “By the way Pete, we did sniff out your petulant little plan to generate a comic idea so bad you thought we’d never approve it; and when we did unexpectedly approve it to your surprise, you tried to tried to sabotage it and make us look like idiots by writing it in a lackadaisical and half-assed manner; and when THAT didn’t work as evidenced by this month’s sales numbers, you searched for every negative internet comment you could find to throw in our faces so you could whore for sympathy…If you ever put this much work into your writing, you’d still still be working here…Pete Radmanovich, you are one lowlife petty backstabbing piece of shit…Have fun in Hollywood, because you deserve each other…””

  20. Charles

    TL/DR but here’s an archived Geocites Funky fan page, notable mainly for a cute pic of a younger, funnier Tom Batiuk.

    You know, I’ve thought this for a while, and every time I see a picture of Batiuk, I’m reminded of it: Tom Batiuk is a guy who wants to be Les Moore, but deep down, he knows he’s Funky Winkerbean. The way he treats Funky is nothing more than his intense self-loathing and flagellation for not being as successful as he thinks he should be.