Less than a week ago I marveled at how Batiuk had engineered a Hollywood screenwriting opportunity for recently fired comic book writer Pete. Today’s strip has me marveling at how wrong I was.
Charles
April 19, 2015 at 8:47 pm
…The suggested storyline is so absurd it’s insulting. The producers aren’t going to go to the lead actor to get recommendations for script doctors…and in the extreme situation where they do so, they’re not going to accept the suggestion when it turns out to be a rank amateur who just got his ass fired from a crappy comic book company.
Charles, I’ll go ya a couple better: how about an even more rank amateur, who, after dragging out the process of writing the screenplay (which he insisted on doing), decides it’s too much work and walks away, sinking the project while still getting paid? On the recommendation of the star’s new girlfriend?
Son of Stuck Funky 
I don’t know why Les felt the need to add “science fiction”.
I couldn’t figure out why Darin would need to be in the strip, but of course what’s going to happen is he’s going to mention this to Pete, who’s going to offer his expert opinions to Les.
But Mason already knows Les! If Mason thought Les could handle the job, couldn’t he just “put in a good word” for Les himself? “Chairing a reunion committee”…oh come on, man. It’s twenty emails and some pizza, not the Academy Awards.
But the weirdest thing is the way Boy Lisa is lurking around in the background for some reason, most likely as a way to eventually get Pete involved. Wow, that profile in panel two is quite possibly the worst Boy Lisa drawing ever, he’s been totally Winkerbeaned into unrecognizability.
“Charles, I’ll go ya a couple better:”
Oh yeah? Well I’ll do you one better right back! How about a rank amateur who’s recommended by the by-birth stepson of another rank amateur who after dragging out the process of writing the screenplay (which he insisted on doing), decides it’s too much work and walks away, sinking the project while still getting paid, who was recommended by the star’s new girlfriend?
Got you there, did I?
And in walks St. Darin the Fair Good, presumably to talk about an update to that Montoni’s app that no one uses. Wanna bet that he’ll tell Mopey Pete Rushdie off-panel about this Starbuck Jones movie?
I can’t fault St. Les the Righteous Smirker for labeling the movie as “science fiction.” Batom® does all he can to keep that whole universe as invisible as possible.
Durrwood is going to suggest Pete write the screenplay. Les is far too busy to get his hands dirty making money.
It gets better! Note that part about how he doesn’t know much about science fiction? Pete and Les are going to be working together. As people also predicted previously.
I think we’ve been underestimating TB. I looks like he intends the last years of FW to be a homage to the “Star Trek: The Next Generation” episode “Remember Me”. In this episode, Dr. Crusher, unknown to her gets trapped in a warp bubble. As the show progresses her universe gets smaller and smaller with things and people disappearing with no one else remembering them. In this case Les is playing the Dr. Crusher role … lets just hope in this case he isn’t rescued.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remember_Me_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)
“So Mason, how about suggesting Les for the SJ script doctor job?”
“What??? I know he’s your old friend and all but seriously, Cindy, Les is a bearded dick with ears. The guy is a boring whiny putz who did nothing but pout and sneer between daydreams and naps, then he threw a pissy fit and quit THEN demanded a kill fee!! If I didn’t score the Starbuck Jones gig Les’ bullshit would have stalled my entire career! Forget it, no f*cking way!!”
Seriously though, I can’t stop staring at Boy Lisa’s intensely creepy face in panel two. What’s going through his mind as he watches Les recoil in horror from Cindy’s grateful embrace? That expression doesn’t really give us any real clue, it’s just sort of there. Much like the Darin himself, now that I think about it. He has to be lurking around for a reason, the only real question is: how long after that reason is revealed will Darin once again be relegated to “background character” status? I say one panel, two tops.
Yep, next week we’ll see Les and Pete huddled over a Royal typewriter, surrounded by wads of paper and cigarette butts, or depicted as super heroes banding together to fight the nefarious Lord of the Late.
I will also call attention to my comment from April 11:
Who’s with me?
“Sorry Cindy, I can’t help Mason with his Science Fiction movie. I told Quentin Tarantino I would help him with his scripts for “Kill Fee Volumes 1 and 2.”
And two awful things I just realized. The first is that for the third panel that’s Funky’s face with Darin’s hair. The second is that she has no reason to think that Les would want to be script writer for it on top of any other work he has, including his JOB.
Great. You know how Batiuk is always ragging on how Hollywood doesn’t know how to do superheroes? I think watching St Les The Smug, Whiny and Oblivious and Angry Pete, The Angriest Nerd EVER!!! single-handedly destroy the genre is his way of telling them how: by not ruining things for people like himself by making the spandex set popular. If EVERYONE is a fanboy, he isn’t special and persecuted any longer and that’s just awful.
Wait a dangblasted minute. Mason knows Les and knows the kiddie-pool depth of his screenwriting skills. He also knows that Les spent more time and effort getting out of a screenwriting contract that he did fulfilling its terms. It looks like the whole “Les does Sci-Fi” thing is over in two panels as the true motivation for Cindy priming Les’ screenwriter wannabe pump was to get him to take over the reunion. Or the Coming Reunion. Maybe the Looming Reunion. Whatever. The result is no more Hollywood for you, Leslie.
@Gyre:
Principal Nate Green makes Officer Barbrady look competent by comparison. That’s not going to be an issue in the least.
@Bobanero: I’m hoping for a very special story arc where the Lord of the Late and Le Chat Bleu battle to the death. The winner gets to kill off his associated character.
So, a guy who was too incompetent to write a movie script based on a book that he authored, is now going to write a movie script based on subject matter he knows nothing about? Yep, that definitely sounds like it’s a quarter of an inch from reality.
Just what we needed: another opportunity for Les to show how he’s to pure and good for Sinful Hollywood and must reject their temptations of money and glamorous actresses.
Oh yeah, all the “Hollywood” types would be real happy to work with Les again. After all, he was the only one who made any money when he last went to Hollywood; the rest of them found themselves unemployed after he killed the project. Just don’t walk under any lights on any sound stages, Les, while you’re there; you just might end up eating one.
Of course, the end gag itself is probably supposed to indicate that Cindy really never bothered learning that other people aren’t put on this Earth to serve her needs. After all, she isn’t actually allowed to stop being entitled because Batiuk still resents being little man on campus.
Les: “I don’t know anything about writing science fiction. ….it’s something to do with Worf and Hobbits, or something?”
Cindy: “Of course, before I suggest you, a big time Hollywood auteur like you already had a few properly formatted, polished, copyrighted and registered “Showcase Scripts” to send to the studio immediately so that we can establish your credentials? Oh, silly me, you probably already have several of those registered with the Writer’s Guild of America from your time working on Lisa’s Story, right?”
Les: “I…*…what? What?!? WHAT?!? I…*….uh….the WHAT of the WHAT? But…”
Cindy: “Perfect! Just type up a treatment, a synopsis, come up with a logline, then Mason and I will help you organize the pitch!”
Les: *breaks out into tears* “P-pizza….I j-just came here to buy a p-PIZZA….WAAAAAAAH!”
*Les flings the pie onto the floor, flings himself down, begins kicking his feet, tossing his head, and pounding his fists. Flushed, sobbing, snot and tears getting smeared*
Funky: “….he doesn’t handle additions to his normal activities well.”
Cindy: “….actually, he’s far more together than I was expecting. Think he’ll also be up to overseeing the marketing campaign?”
Funky: “Go for it.”
You’re invited to the Westview High School class reunion:
When: June 13, 2015 6:30PM
Where: Montoni’s Pizza, 105 North Main St.
6:30 – 7: light appetizers (garlic bread, mozzarella poppers) cash bar, domestic beer only.
7-7:30: Opening speech. Les Moore bloviates about Lisa, evil Hollywood, and comic books. Cindy to join in via Skype, er,BuddyBlogCam
7:30-8: dinner. (Assorted pizzas and salad)
We expect Funky to get drunk and throw everyone out by 8:30PM
The Comics Curmudgeon points out that it was Les who introduced Mason Jarr the Movie Actor to Cindy…so Les would seem to have just as much pull with Mason Jarr the Movie Actor as Cindy would.
Of course, Les is an insufferable douchebag, and even Mason Jarr the Movie Actor is bright enough to know that, so….
https://sonofstuckfunky.com/2015/04/18/failing-up/#comments
I called it — it seemed so damn obvious.
Where’s a meteor when we need one?
God, that side view of St. Darin the Fair Good gets uglier and uglier the more I look at it. Has Batom® forgotten how to draw side profiles of his characters that he has to insert different hairstyles on a stock picture of an ugly, bulbous-nosed Funky?
Laziness to the nth degree.