Meet the new creep, same as the old creep

In today’s strip, Craaaaaaaaaaazy Harry says, “The one-armed trombone player looks a little creepy.”

Becky drawn without a mouthCreepy John says to Owen: Young people who play video games are nothing but status offenders.What about a one-armed, mouthless band leader, Harry? What about that? Is that creepy enough for you? What about your “employer”? Are you serious?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “Meet the new creep, same as the old creep

  1. Rusty

    Batiuk walked right into the one-armed joke. Ooops.

  2. Does the trombone player have a tiny safety pin on his rolled up empty sleeve? It’s the little details that count.

  3. Whoops! This went out a bit early, because I can’t tell the difference between 22:00 and 20:00. Maybe I’m Owen today.

  4. Nathan Obral

    So two shooting puns yesterday, and a loss-of-an-appendage joke today.

    Lemme guess. Tomorrow’s “punchline” will be a PTSD ‘gag’, and Saturday will be either about cancer or teen pregnancy.

    Batom® really knows about those contemporary issues affecting young people, doesn’t he?

  5. Nathan Obral

    That even Dead Skunk Head said nothing in response to Crazy’s “one-armed” aside says a lot about DSH. Anyone else would have either made a loud “AHEM!” or thrown that innocent green pitcher directly at Crazy’s head.

    Even if it was totally unintentional, you don’t go about making fun of someone’s wife when that someone is not only in the same room, but IS YOUR OWN GODDAM BOSS.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Oh man, I just cannot believe he walked into that faux pas. There’s no way it was intentional, that’s classic Ban Tom laziness right there. Unbelievable.

  7. SpacemanSpiff85

    Look at Funky’s expression. I guarantee he’s thinking “I can push him off the ladder right now. I’ll tell everyone it was an accident. That comic book geek won’t squeal. And if I does, I’ll just give him a carcinogenic slice of the ‘Lisa special’, and he’ll shut up for good. And Les will have another book to write.”

  8. Guest Page Turner Author

    This has devolved into utter crap!

  9. Non-working band box? You know, this seems like the perfect sort of story arc that would interest contemporary young people and relate to their problems, and every time these kinds of arcs appear, I go around and try to interest all the young people I know to follow Funky Winkerbean so they can find some kind of solution (or at least solace)…but I’m not sure I want to share the results.

    Bottom line, the bail money keeps getting more and more, and I’m not able to float it anymore. Should I start a kickstarter campaign or what?

    Oh, damn–warden says lights out. See you tomorrow!

  10. Well, the band box fits right in at Montoni’s, you can’t deny that….

  11. John

    Harry: “You’re right, Funky. Spending three entire days establishing the exact same premise is ridiculous. Bored readers here, there, everywhere…looking at two elderly men complaining about broken dolls. It’s creepy. I’ve heard of cartoonists who’s creativity have run dry, but this is REALLY rock bottom. The only thing worse I could think of would be-”

    Funky: “Oh, by the way, Les is terrified of making a Facebook page for the Coming Reunion.”

    Harry: “Annnnnd out comes the shovel!”

  12. ComicTrek

    (*Facepalm*) It’s a good thing that Becky isn’t in the same room with them. That’s all I can say about that!

  13. This is the Batiukverse. Of course neither DSH or One-Armed Band Leader are going to challenge Crazy Harry when he calls someone with one arm creepy. DSH has no guts and she’s accepted it as punishment for wanting to leave town and be some sort of bigshot who thinks she’s better than eating horrible pizza, standing around passively complaining about the decline of Rust Belt America and wasting Friday nights watching a football team be criminally mismanaged.

  14. @John: What we see here is something I like to call “Creeping Johnstonism.” Just as Lynn Johnston spent two blasted weeks reminding us that April had acne and it made her freak out, we have to endure a whole week watching wan-looking suburbanites comment endlessly on a broken antique that really isn’t worth the Sturm und Drang we’re going to endure.

  15. A HREF

    Of course Crazy Harry forgot what’s her name(Becky?) has but one arm—just like Harry Dinkle for got he was deaf and Lisa forgot she was dead and Becky forgot she was married and Wally forgot everything and Owen and Cody forgot to graduate and the gay prom students forgot to show up for the prom and everyone forgot the student handbook didn’t specifically forbid gay guys from going to the prom and Corey forgot he was a thief and Les forgot his machine gun…… .

  16. Saturnino

    “Non-working band box? You know, this seems like the perfect sort of story arc that would interest contemporary young people and relate to their problems”

    Actually, this arc could have been funny…………………if it had been written by Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca……………………………………..

  17. DOlz

    @Guest Page Turner Author, are you talking about the strip or this arc, not that it matters.

    @Saturnino, better yet written by, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, and Neil Simon with Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca playing the parts of the broken band people.

  18. Tom Batiuk doesn’t care about one-armed people.


    I’ll give Batiuk credit in that this group of strips is a metaphor for something. I mean it has to be, doesn’t it? Because that would make these strips completely effing pointless.

  20. billytheskink

    As we all may or may not remember, Wally, whose high school drunk-driving accident was the reason Becky’s arm was amputated, was an accomplished trombone player in the Westview High band.

    What if the Band Box is really a miniature alternate universe Westview? Becky is the pizza shop-employed veteran with PTSD, Les owns Montoni’s with Lisa, Funky is the disdainful educator who writes books about the late Cindy and/or Holly, Crazy is a successful UPS executive, Cody wears a chullo…

    Back to the strip, um, if Crazy is up on the ladder, what is Funky standing on?

  21. Epicus Doomus

    Typical Batom, he spends decades firmly establishing Becky’s one-armedness, never missing an opportunity to display the pinned-up sleeve. Then he totally forgets all about it for the sake of a cheap gag.

  22. SpacemanSpiff85

    I’m honestly expecting one day for Becky to just magically have both arms, because Batiuk forgot. And for everyone to call her Stacy.

  23. Rusty Shackleford

    Be funny to ask the owners of Luigi’s Pizza what they think about this. I bet they don’t read FW.

  24. John

    John: “Guys! Guys! I fixed the bandbox! In fact, I improved it.”

    Harry: “….you’re mechanically competent? You can’t even sell enough comics to make rent. And you put MY treasured comical books about Tarzan for sale in a dirty alley.”

    John: “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    Funky: ‘Improved it? Improved it how?”

    John: “I’ll show you!”


    (The curtains lift. A dozen miniature dolls resembling Owen and Cody are revealed. Oddly, one Cody doll is dressed up as a busty cartoon skunk.)


    Funky: “…..”

    John: “Eh? Eh?”

    Harry: “….*….why do they drop their pants at the end?”

    John: “Oh, c’mon! It’s whimsical!”

  25. Charles

    Gotta admit that I feel this week would be totally redeemed if Gross John attacks Crazy for the perceived insult of his wife, and the next two days are shown them having an futile old man slap fight where they injure themselves more than the other guy.

    But I know that’s not going to happen, because Batiuk’s a putz and his characters suck. Crazy could make a nasty crack about how Becky isn’t a “whole woman” and Gross John would just sit there smirking about it like an asshole.