Wheely Funny

SoSfDavidO here! Aw, look who rolled into Today’s strip! It’s Wade! And to think to us die-hard wade fans it’s only been 418 days since his last appearance. Wade is kind enough to regale us with a tale of something that happened off-strip that sounds 2.7 kajillion times more interesting than the humor black hole we’ve been sucked into this week.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Wheely Funny

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Uh no, Wade. If you”broke the law of gravity” you wouldn’t have “Jack and Jilled” yourself, you wouldn’t have fallen at all. Another example of Batiuk using the old and infirm as stupid fodder for unfunny gags about fractures and falls.

    And the band box belongs to Wade? Since when? And if so, who the hell would possibly remember that? If I never hear the phrase “band box” again it’ll be too soon.

  2. Isn’t Wade Funky’s AA sponsor? Or am I thinking of another lumpy-faced codger who looks like he should be holding up a cardboard sign by the highway exit?

  3. “What on earth happened to you”
    “I joined the cast of Funky Winkerbean”

  4. Methinks the law of gravity broke Wade…

    Those faces in panel 1! Doesn’t the gang all look so happy to see Wade?

    June 26, 2015 at 12:34 am
    Isn’t Wade Funky’s AA sponsor?

    Correct! We last saw them speak at Christmas.

    Batiuk achieves (probably unintentional) synchronicity between FW and Crankshaft this week with the wheelchair cameos.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    If you took Wade’s dialog and just presented it to a FW reader without telling them where it’s from or who wrote it, that FW reader would immediately know it was pure Batiukian, right from the source. A weirdly turned phrase no one would ever utter in real life followed by a terrible gag that makes no sense. Only one person on the planet would word a sentence exactly like that.

    I mean sure, I get it, everyone who regularly hangs out with their old high school pals in their old high school haunt becomes somewhat attached to the little bits of restaurant and bar paraphernalia they see every time they’re there. I know that whenever I visit my local sub shop for a pork roll, egg and cheese and my old pal Vinnie is there I always say “hey Vin, what happened to that old clock that used to be over by the pinball machine?” and he says “what the f*ck are you babbling about?”. So I can relate.

    But these morons are looking at the thing like they’re a remote jungle tribe experiencing flashlights for the first time. “The mechanical figures…they’re coming ALIVE!”. I mean come on, no actual person could ever be this boring and easily amused.

  6. Guest Page Turner Author

    This is what the girls would sing back in the old neighborhood :

    Jack and Jill went up the hill,
    To fetch a pail of water.

    Jack fell down
    and broke his crown, and Jill said,
    I see your hiney
    All white and shiny
    You better hide it
    Before I bite it!”

    Then they would make a chomping sound like this:


    Anyway, that’s always my association when I hear a reference to Jack and Jill: I’m a pre-pubescent boy slightly worried and afraid about a psedo-sexual song, featuring an aggressive female, that the older girls were singing as they jumped rope. And it all popped back into my head today, all the questions, all the secret fears and nervous curiosity I had surrounding that silly ditty. This could explain why I’m 50 years old, never marrried, and up late analyzing Funky Winkerbean. But enough about that, on to reality.

    Why does Funky have to explain to the gang why Wade is there? Is it such a stretch for Wade to simply be coming in for a normal lunch? No, Funky feels he has to justify Wade’s presence, as if the gang might decide to shun him, or attack him, or maybe even try to eat him, without some sort of disclaimer about this strange non-regular customer at the Artery Cloggerry they call home.

    And if he broke the law of gravity, doesn’t that mean he’s just floating through space without any inertia behind him?

    And seriously, Wade, listen up: You can probably get along just fine on crutches with a broken ankle. No doctor or PT worth a lick is going to expect you to be getting around in a wheel chair with nothing but a broken ankle, a broken ankle you apparently got by floating around weightlessly above the earth. I don’t know, maybe you banged your leg against a lamppost or a chimney or something.

    And maybe I’m being too hard on Wade, maybe he has a predisposition for need of a wheelchair. Wait, no, never mind, the gang seems surprised to see him in a wheelchair.

    Oh, also, by the way, who the fuck is Wade?

  7. SpacemanSpiff85

    I wonder if Batiuk realizes how it looks when he brings back an alcoholic character and has him fall down the stairs and seriously hurt himself. I doubt it, he’s never thought twice about his work yet, as far as I can tell.

  8. This is what happens when you think you’re too smart to need an editor or to listen to criticism. Batiuk is NOT credit to team.

  9. “I Jack-and-Jilled myself” is a really off-putting phrase.

  10. Rusty Shackleford

    I borrowed TCFW volume 1 1972-1974 from the library. In the preface Batom says that he “did the happy dance” when he got accepted for syndication–hmm where have I heard that recently?

    He also says Montoni’s was based on a pizza place in Kent, this is surprising since the Band Box is obviously a reference to Luigi’s in Akron. Nobody outside of Akron knows or cares about a Band Box, but so what, it is something to write about.

    He did mention that he wished the strip had a name besides Funky Winkerbean. I feel for him there. Using the word funky to describe anything is dated and awkward these days.

    I think the problem is that this strip has run its course years ago. Batom is obviously out of ideas, or he simply just doesn’t care anymore. Amazing that the syndicate hadn’t canned him, which shows they are just riding the horse until it throws them off.

  11. bayoustu

    That’s what he gets for Lewis and Clarking while he was Jack and Jilling!

  12. Rusty

    Did Wade also take several years to paint a mural in Montoni’s, one that is never shown anymore? Or was that some other decrepit looking guy?

  13. DOlz

    “I Jack-and-Jilled myself”, sounds like a sex act. I’m afraid to google the phrase, very afraid.

  14. Jack & Jill went up the hill, not down the stairs, then one of them broke his crown, not his ankle. So we can add nursery rhymes to the list of things BanTom knows nothing about.

  15. sgtsaunders

    What Bats seems to not understand is that outside the Funkyverse people use certain terms and phrases to actually shorten what they have to say. Further, such terms and phrases are not designed to confuse and enrage the listener. One example that comes to mind here is FUBAR.

  16. Jim in Wisc.

    @ Rusty: Is that who painted those? Apparently he must have used some pretty cheap paint, because they’ve all faded to a uniform shade beige over the years.

  17. billytheskink

    TB: …and then Funky invites Wade to see the repaired band box.

    Us: Wade? Who’s Wade?

    TB: You remember Wade. First appeared in John Darling, was homeless when he showed up in Westview, Montoni’s hired him as a handyman, the band box is apparently “his”, was Funky’s AA sponsor and heroically rescued Funky from the clutches of alcoholism.

    Us: Oh yeah, Wade. We remember him from… maybe one of those things. So what’s he up to now?

    TB: He was terribly maimed walking a flight of stairs.

    Us: Walked right into that one, didn’t we?

  18. Professor Fate

    “Yep it’s my band box – so if you’ll just take it down off the wall there – I’m going to get it appraised on Antiques Roadshow. Hoping to get enough to buy a plane ticket and get the hell out of here.”

  19. Jimmy

    @oddnoc: I am very concerned regarding Westview’s medical establishment. How does a man who busts his head open end up in a leg cast?


    –@oddnoc: I am very concerned regarding Westview’s medical establishment. How does a man who busts his head open end up in a leg cast?—

    When your overworked with cancer cases and failed suicide attempts, you have to cut ends somewhere.

  21. The closest thing they have to a medical system is Bull. That’s why Funky had to get on an airplane to get a prostate exam.

  22. “Jack and Jilling” as a verb sounds like a totally is something that soubds like a porn move. A brief, brave google search reveals that.

    Oh boy.