In Which Cindy Has Lied to Her Teenage Self

“But you’re a star TV news anchor and everything!” teen Cindy exclaims to old, worn-out Cindy in today’s strip. “How can you not be happy?”

Last time I checked, Cindy was a former local news anchor, who had previously been a has-been national anchor, and who was now the news anchor for a semi-professional blog in Los Angeles. So the conversation these two selves had moments ago wasn’t exactly accurate, if you receive my meaning.

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22 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “In Which Cindy Has Lied to Her Teenage Self

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    Boy, I’m on the edge of my seat in anticipation for tomorrow’s episode of “Why Cindy Winkerbean Summers Life Sucks”.

  2. Guest Page Turner Author

    They still haven’t defined “Happy”

  3. Epicus Doomus

    More “Cindy is an insecure, vapid and rapidly-aging mess whose life is a big fraud”-centric humor, I see. Cindy-centric strips are approaching Dinkle-like levels of insufferability these days.

    And WHAT facade is she maintaining? For the last few years she’s skulked into Montoni’s and bitched to her ex-husband about every detail of her sagging career. It’s her entire persona now, in fact. If anything she’s FAILING to maintain a facade as her life hilariously shatters.

  4. So: the whole point of this arc has been revealed at last. We’re going to see Cindy disintegrate. Since she lost her New York anchor job, that’s been the entire point of her character–she wouldn’t date me when I was in high school, so I’m going to show her!

    …I’m pretty sure I didn’t mean to type that out loud…

  5. Also, the county health department should do something about that virus that turns everyone’s noses bulbous over the years.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    And why on earth is he spending this kind of time on Cindy? One day would have been more than enough. He has two Les’s, Lisa and Cayla AND bully and post-bully Bull together in the same room and he’s spending half the week on Cindy and her inane jabbering. The constant harping on Cindy being an insecure fading shallow narcissist is pretty damned weird if you ask me. Can’t he just do a quick gag about them running off to go shopping together or something and be done with it? Why is he forever beating that drum? What the hell is REALLY wrong with this guy?

  7. The more Batiuk tries to be empathetic to Cindy, the more I think he’s still really, really bitter about not being able to find a date to the junior prom all those years ago.

  8. Rusty

    I’m surprised these two have anything to talk about.

  9. Ah, yes. The nerd outcasts like Batiuk had to drag the cool kids down and insist that their lives are hollow and meaningless; you can set your watch to this sort of envy. It’s so nice to find a reliable source of this self-justifying bullshit now that Lynn Johnston has been forced to retire because her children live in fear of the image of her being found dead after a fall in her big, empty house in the middle of nowhere.

  10. Nathan Obral

    @oddnoc:

    Also, the county health department should do something about that virus that turns everyone’s noses bulbous over the years.

    I think it’s called tombatiukcantdraw-itis.

  11. Jim in Wisc.

    Meanwhile, over in Centerville, Crankie and his daughter have spent most of this week searching the basement for a 53 year old sack of cement. Talk about a scintillating story!!

  12. billytheskink

    And why on earth is he spending this kind of time on Cindy? One day would have been more than enough. He has two Les’s, Lisa and Cayla AND bully and post-bully Bull together in the same room and he’s spending half the week on Cindy and her inane jabbering.

    I’m thoroughly terrified this drawn-out conversation between the Cindys means we are trapped in the gym with the time pool super team through August while everyone gets a turn to talk to their young counterparts; the story arc ending with a whole week of two panel strips featuring young Lisa in one and the welling-up eyes of a different character in the other.

    On the plus side, today’s strip breaks Blondie’s monopoly of that shocked/disgusted hand-to-the-chest gesture, though I admittedly enjoy it more when it is directed at catering clients…

  13. Jim in Wisc.

    billytheskink wrote: “… the story arc ending with a whole week of two panel strips featuring young Lisa in one and the welling-up eyes of a different character in the other.”

    And when he finished those strips (since this dreck is drawn a year in advance), TomBat leaned back in his chair and imagined himself rounding the bases of a tiny baseball diamond … with the Pulitzer committee waiting at home plate with his prize.

  14. 1966tvbatman

    ooooh I like the masthead. this bodes well.

  15. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    I can’t tell if Batiuk is just trying to build up tension or he’s dragging this thing out for a couple of weeks. He can’t be blind to the fact that the only real dramatic meeting here is Old Les and Lisa the Slug, right? He can’t be that tone deaf?

  16. 1966tvbatman

    BTW this is Rembrandt36. Don’t know why it is using my other WordPress name.

  17. ooooh I like the masthead. this bodes well.

    Seriously, seeing what happens with Lisa is the only interesting thing that can really come out of this time-travel arc. Everything else is just the kids looking at the older versions of themselves and thinking “Boy, it’s going to suck to be me”. I can’t believe that TB would include Lisa in the time travel group and not have some kind of dramatic revelation.

  18. bad wolf

    FunkyFans remembering this as the anniversary of TB’s real-life superpal Tony Isabella’s appearance in the strip will be happy to hear Isabella’s one claim to fame-Black Lightning-is finally getting a reprint from DC!

    Isabella continues to pat himself on the back for his amazing amount of soul and groundbreaking strides in race relations for being ‘sole creator’ of the ‘first’ black superhero, while simultaneously cutting out any credit for the artist or editors of the character–even the black one. “An earlier version of this article credited Isabella as co-creator of Black Lightning; a position that Isabella disputes.”

  19. @bobanero I’d amend that to read “Boy, it still sucks to be me”

    And I agree, the masthead seems to promise what this arc was supposed to be all about to start with. All this Cindy stuff is just Tom Batiuk trying to pull one over on us.

  20. @bad wolf – according to the article, Black Lightning first appeared in 1977. I don’t know how Isabella can claim “first” on that, as I seem to recall both the Falcon and Luke Cage appearing before that year (not to mention the Black Panther).

  21. bad wolf

    @beckoningchasm–okay, first african-american superhero in DC comics? First one headlining his own title there? Something like that, although i think it’s still got a pretty inflated rep.

    Mostly it’s the bitter old white guy who thinks he’s got street cred part that cracks me up.

  22. If Batiuk is going with the Grandfather Paradox for this arc, maybe he could have it where Cindy becomes so depressed over her future, that she becomes the alcoholic instead of Funky.