Spoiler Alert: She Fails

In today’s strip, old Cindy ’fesses up to self-loathing, and, astoundingly, tries to offer her previous self some good advice. Because she clearly doesn’t remember this encounter and hasn’t overcome her self-esteem issues, it’s clear that the advice will fail to take root in the past.

This takes place within earshot of the Funkies Winkerbean, so mortification, if not humor, will surely ensue.

Also, the gym has been replaced by a nondescript grey gradient for the last week. Has anyone else noticed that they’re enveloped in a dull miasma? Anyone?

23 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Spoiler Alert: She Fails

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    How is popularity a “mask”? It’s not something you wear, Batiuk. If you’re popular, you’re popular. I know you apparently still hate the popular people you knew in high school, and are telling everyone that they actually hated themselves, but I think you’d be much better off if you took your own character’s advice and just learned to be happy with yourself.

  2. Nathan Obral

    If this doesn’t end with the past 30 years being totally retconned out of existence and a total reboot back into early Act II (easy money on that not happening), this will go down as the dumbest storyline in a comic strip that was pretty dumb to begin with.

    FFS, Batiuk.

  3. 1966tvbatman

    Popularity is bestowed on a person by others. It is not a mask. Look at young Funky. How can he be looking at his older self and not saying “How the hell do I prevent this?”

  4. Epicus Doomus

    “Self-loathing”, eh? Is that like when you find yourself reading this comic strip every day even though you hate it and a deep sense of shame washes over you for doing so? Because then I understand…

  5. carriekube1

    Seems like Future-Cindy didn’t take her own advice. She’s just a very bitter and miserable person herself.

  6. Guest Page Turner Author

    Les has been the focus of this strip for so long! Whiny, self-loathing, I feel sorry for myself, Les! And as much as I loathe this character, I feel cheated, yeaa,CHEATED! that he has not yet been involved in this arc which has brought back Lisa.

    I can’t believe I am saying this:

    Give us More Les Moore this time, Battic!

    This is your potential in this story, not 80s Valley Girl meeting future Valley Girl. Duh.

  7. Because clearly it was Cindy’s self-esteem issues that led to her divorce from Funky, and not his raging alcoholism. Of course.

  8. 1966tvbatman

    Be careful what you wish for. We already know it will get to Lisa (hence the panicked masthead) but the question is… how long will her arc be? 3 weeks is my guess. I have to agree with a few others on the web. If this ends up rebooting them all to Act I wiser so the melodrama can be avoided (Lisa gets pregnant, blah blah blah) I will forgive Batiuk.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    I’d be utterly amazed if he actually tried pulling off some sort of “re-boot” at this stage of his career. Even this boring time pool claptrap is way beyond his grasp, as evidenced by this week’s drivel. And even if he did do a re-boot, he’d just forget about it after a week or two anyway.

  10. billytheskink

    It cost Cindy a lot to learn that, huh?
    I guess “a lot” = the cost of a Netflix subscription, because she pretty much just regurgitated the moral of Jim Carrey’s The Mask to her younger self.

  11. As I said yesterday, Batiuk needs to believe that popular people really hate themselves and really envy him. It’s the only way he can get through the day without having to face the terrible possibility that he wasn’t popular because he’s either not an especially appealing person or he’s a graceless twit.

  12. @The Diva: We’re heading into victim-blaming country on the alcoholism front, I’m afraid. Instead of Funky being a raging dickhole with a horrible character flaw, he’s the victim of her need to be popular and to ‘defy’ him. This is, after all, written by a misogynistic asshole who thinks that a woman is something a man is entitled to.

  13. Cindy’s self-loathing can’t hold a candle to my loathing of this story arc.

    Anyway, despite her “self-loathing”, Cindy’s managed to be the most successful member of the WHS class in a profession that requires a high level of self-confidence (and the ONLY member of the class who has aged gracefully at all). It’s not clear to me exactly what this “high price” was that she paid.

  14. TB has violated all (and I mean all) of the tenets of science fiction time travel. Like many have pointed out, this makes sense only if he is going to reboot his strip. And like many here, I don’t think that’s going to happen. That said, why not give “past” you some good advice to improve “present” you circumstances. I don’t mean like, “Cindy, don’t hate yourself.” I mean like “Lisa, avoid a guy named Frankie, don’t marry Les and enjoy Paris when you go there.” “Funky, don’t open that New York Pizza parlor. Instead take that money and move out of Ohio and pay more attention to your step-son.” “Crazy, buy Apple and Microsoft stock and hang on to it whatever the cost until 2015. Then sell it and enjoy your life.” At least, those are the things I think most people would tell their young selves.

  15. Spode

    I predict there will be some sort of memory-erasing device. The only reason Harry remembered the time pool was because he had dipped into it so many times. I also predict a maudlin scene where young Lisa is troubled by a sense of foreboding, and young Les promises he will alway be her friend, through thick and thin, etc.

  16. Well, TB totally pulled the Time Pool out of his ass, same as he pulled the last time travel arc out of his ass and the “Lisa phones it in from beyond the grave” arc out of his ass. So I have no reason to think that after a couple weeks of lame exchanges between past and present characters, they won’t just jump back in the pool, go back where they came from, and nothing else will ever be said about it ever again.

  17. Professor Fate

    Still waiting for the Single panel strip where young alive St. Lisa wordlessly stares at the reunion’s in memoriam to the Dead St. Lisa. It’s like the gun in the living room in act one – the puppy has to fired by act III.

  18. @bobanero: The high price she paid was having to kiss good-bye to a raging (and currently dry) drunk with entitlement issues who thinks that slinging horrible pizza and obsessing over a glorified music box is the apex of human existence. Just as Batiuk thinks that we secretly envy the pathetic drones at the comics shop ranting mindlessly about the House Of Asspulls, Funky thinks that she gave up a lot not subordinating herself to a muttonhead who sells 7-11 style pizza for a living…..and so does Batfailure.

  19. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    So why hasn’t Cindy evaporated out of existence, yet?

  20. The more I see of Cindy, the more inexplicable it becomes that she would marry Funky in the first place.

    Also, there sure are a variety of noses on display for just two people.

  21. Rusty Shackleford

    Batty sure has a crazy way of looking at people.

  22. DOlz

    @Paul Jones, “… Funky thinks that she gave up a lot not subordinating herself to a muttonhead who sells 7-11 style pizza for a living …”

    Whoa careful there fellow. You wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of a libel suit from 7-11.

  23. @Dolz: Nor would I want one from Georgia-Pacific for comparing the crust to cardboard.