O Funkere! O Mortificatione!

How long,” old, mortified Cindy asks the Funkies Winkerbean, “have you two been standing there?”

“Since 1972,” neither Funky responds, because that would have been funny.

“What does self-loathing mean?” instead queries Funky the Younger, which makes me wish that he had left home in 1975 and headed west, to San Francisco, and never looked back.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “O Funkere! O Mortificatione!

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    Even with all the younger versions of the cast having travelled through time, two Funkys have nothing better to do than stand around creepily watching Cindy? I bet Holly loves that, wherever she is.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    I guess this is an example of BanTom’s wry, banter-filled “adult-contempo” style humor. I say “I guess” because I have no idea what’s going on in that head of his. And I doubt he does either.

  3. bad wolf

    Here we go–i was going to post the other day that if this stretches out Lisa’s reaction past the end of the week, it would have gone on officially too long. Congratulations, TB, you magnificent bastard. I still underestimate how far you can overstay your welcome.

  4. Fear and Self-Loathing in Westview – We were somewhere around the gazebo when the drugs began to take hold.

    If this whole arc is taking place because Crazy put acid in the punch bowl at the reunion, I could live with that.

  5. Our Unabashed Funky Dictionary defines “Mortified” as “taking up smoking and seeing an immediate improvement in health.”

  6. Nathan Obral

    I want to find a time pool. Just so I can go back to 1969 and visit the Elyria Chronicle-Telegram headquarters, and tell the Hudnutt family that Batiuk’s “Rappin’ Around” isn’t worth running on their paper’s teen page.

  7. Guest Page Turner Author

    Is this going to devolve into an examination of Funky and Cindy’s marriage? ?????

    Easy answer : he was a drunk

    Let’s move on to Les and Lisa, please.

    This is the most absurdly stupid arc Battic has written yet!

  8. Because your average teenager doesn’t know the first thing about self-loathing, no sir….

  9. Rusty

    Young Funky asks that question despite being friends with Les? C’mon now.

  10. JerrytheMacGuy

    This arc is like watching a train wreck in slow motion . . . nanosecond by nanosecond.

    And if Mr. Batiuk remains true to form, after readers have invested so much time following this storyline, he’ll cheat them out of the satisfaction of seeing the climax to it all – the poignant moment when Lisa discovers she will die an early and possibly preventable death.

    No, he will switch over to yet another inane arc, like Mopey Pete and Darren in the cynical, superficial, sinful hellhole that is Hollywood.

  11. HAnzMFG

    So this is just going to be a dream right? Otherwise it changes all the wonderful things that happened to the characters in this strip, and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?

  12. Yeah. I can dig it. “Avoid self-absorbed and damaging idiots like Funky who assume that slinging horrible pizza is the be-all and end-all of existence. They’ll make you hate what you see in the mirror and drive you to date C-list actors.”

  13. Rusty Shackleford


    Batty calls this writing. I call it laziness.

  14. Merry Pookster

    I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue…..

  15. What really depresses me is that Batiuk honestly thinks that anyone under twenty can’t work out what self-loathing means.

  16. Epicus Doomus

    I assume that poodle-haired Lisa in the masthead means that something is finally at long last going to “happen” (so to speak) but so far this is all just hardcore Batiuksturbation. Will he play Lisa’s death for giggles or will he go all maudlin with it or (gag) both?

  17. Nathan Obral


    That of course is based on the premise that anyone really gets emotionally invested in Funky Winkerbean. Which is simply not the case, as, outside of the immediate members of the Batiuk family, no one reads Funky Winkerbean unironically.

  18. @Nathan Orbal:

    That’s for sure. Why else would the writers for the Simpsons view it as low-hanging fruit in their quest to remind us how out of touch Marge can be?

  19. Nathan Obral

    And that was back when The Simpsons was one of the best shows on television.

  20. ComicTrek

    Funky, just stick to trying to figure out plane geometry.