Today’s strip was either unavailable for preview, or I’ve been too caught up in the Swiss National Holiday. In either event, snark away!
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
I almost don’t want to read it when NJ.com publishes it at 12:01am. Because we pretty much know the ending, and that Batiuk will hide behind his insipid “writing” defense when he just executed a time-travel storyline that is so depraved and psychotic, it makes Marat/Sade look like wonderful family entertainment by comparison.
Whomever mans the editorial staff at King Features Syndicate… they are all as fucking worthless as a soccer bat.
I really dislike using profanity, but this strip is pushing me to the edge of my limits. There is no way this was written by anyone but someone living so far up their butt that they have to open their mouth to see. For a coda on this cluster F TB has managed to get below our already Journey to the Center of the Earth level we thought he would failchieve.
Check my comment from yesterday: once again Batiuk stuns everyone by going in a direction so lame and so inexplicable no one could have possibly seen it coming. This is so incomprehensibly bad it once again calls into question whether we’re all just being trolled here, as it seems impossible that anyone could have dreamed this up and thought it was anything but sub-idiotic. Gutless too, as he didn’t just avoid the whole Les/Lisa/cancer/Cayla conundrum, he actively cowered away from it, like how a opossum plays dead when threatened. But in this case, creativity was the big scary threat, as I have to assume that having readers and entertaining them scares the hell out of the guy. He does a time-travel arc featuring Lisa and all that happens is Cindy obsesses about her appearance and Les hides a book under some cardboard. Un-be-f*cking-livable.
What the he…?!?! We’re back to Shallow Cindy whining about her fading looks when she still looks 20 years younger than her classmates???
I didn’t know NJ.com loads at midnight, comics kingdom never does for me.
At any rate, nothing to see here folks. Cindy is appalled that she ages better than everyone else. The rest of the gang return to their present in their usual stupor. Holy crap what a waste of time this strip has become.
Tom Batiuk… next time just cut to the chase and draw variations of a middle finger gesture for nothing but a full month.
So, what could have been an edgy, unconventional, even poignant story arc ends not with a bang, but with a whimper. Even whimper is too strong a word to describe this flaccid denouement.
I guess we shouldn’t be surprised.
But hey, on to more Batiuk stories about comic books!
Well Cindy, you will look old in 25-35 years but you won’t look dead.
Why does Batiuk hate Older Cindy? Every time she’s appeared in the past several months has just been an excuse to mock her for being old, desperate for (male) attention, and selling her soul to the Debbil Interwebz. Did the co-anchor of Akron’s ABC affiliate turn him down for a date?
I do seriously ask myself why I continue to pay any attention to this comic strip. It has gone well beyond hating old Les or funny giggling of some good natured snark. This was a part of my childhood, and now it is just depressing. It is a study in miserable depression. I believe Batiuk must have been a flower child (he would be the right age) that lost faith in his ideals. I don’t get it. Why is he so miserable? He’s had at least 3 comic strips. in 7 damn years he’ll retire (probably). Why the constant jabs at pretty women? It’s getting to the point where we can’t even discuss this piece of dreck in a fun manner, as we all just stand here with our mouths agape at how retched everything has become.
The one person with the fewest regrets naturally has all of them.
I read Funky Winkerbean in 2015 because it helps me be a better man.
Oh, wonderful. Let’s distract people from the unfortunate implication that Les kills Lisa because he’s ascared of the bad future and can’t let Lisa face something he can’t by reminding us that popular girls are shallow because they laughed at his stalkeriffic love poetry pretty much the same time I was born. He’s inventing new ways to make me hate him.
And, as usual, we are left with nothing. Wow.
This ending is as good as any, as an attempt to distract from the fact that Les is a self-obsessed monster who cares more about his own success and the pity he gains thereby, rather than the fate of the woman he supposedly “loves.”
Yeah, Tom Batiuk, it’s those uppity women who’ve lost their looks, that’s the real issue to be addressed here.
It’s my fault, really. I poured back a few late-night bourbons a while back and sent Batiuk a bunch of emails telling him how great it would be to have a time travel arc, but I’d REALLY like it to focus on Cindy’s fading looks.
@beckoningchasm: This is not, of course, the end of this. Watching Batiuk defend immolating Lisa on the pyre of Les’s gutlessness and narcissism is going to an unpleasant little necessity that’s only relieved by the fact that it makes him look even stupider.
“But Old Les, you never once interacted with Alive Lisa! You never told either Young Les or Alive Lisa anything of value!
“Let’em buy my book.” he growled between shots of Crazy’s Electric Punch.
“This ending is as good as any, as an attempt to distract from the fact that Les is a self-obsessed monster who cares more about his own success and the pity he gains thereby, rather than the fate of the woman he supposedly “loves.” ”
He could have taken the book with him into the past……………….
I’m going to be really positive here and hope for the best. Were I writing this strip, all would jump in the time pool and we’d immediately look to the gym door to find Les handing Lisa her coat and saying as they were leaving, “You know, these school reunions are such a waste of time.” Fade to black. But ain’t gonna happen.
It might have been a standard Batiuk Arc Fail, if not for the repeated one-panel shots of Teen Crazy telling the cast the same thing, that a Time Pool existed in his locker, for SIX STRAIGHT DAYS.
The padding on this storyline was unbelievable, even by typical Batiuk standards. The last two years of Dick Locher’s tenure over Dick Tracy was just as bad, but at least SOME type of denouement happened over there.
I can’t figure out the point of this whole “Cindy is really old now” bender he’s been on either. It’s pretty obvious that he’s just writing this garbage for his own (completely cryptic) amusement now, as no one anywhere is laughing along with this drivel. What a botch-job.
Tomorrow Les and Funky will be jogging in the park as though nothing had ever happened.
Given that Holly grows to be a joyless, frumpy doormat; Lisa is pointlessly dead, Bull becomes an incompetent loser, Funky becomes an even bigger loser and Cindy becomes a bitter hag, I’ll be surprised if they don’t all commit a group suicide. Crazy Harry would probably be fine other than having a frumpy, no personality wife and looking like he’s in his mid 60’s at best.
It’s not your fault, @Jimmy. Mr. Batiuk is the one who took the idea and made it as lame as possible.
@Carrie Kube: To do that would require anything other than passivity in the face of an obligation. When they are required to act, these people duck their responsibilities and smirk about how they can’t do what must be done. Saving one’s wife, killing one’s self because one fails because motion is too frightening to contemplate, it’s all the same thing: do nothing and smirk about how you can’t.