Say My Name

Not only is Les Moore “filled with great wit but also tremendous melancholies”…sister girl, he is a tiger in bed! Yes, folks, today we are invited to imagine Les in the throes of the sex act. Of course, the “awkward moment” that Lisa’s referencing could be one of those occasions when “Little Les” refuses to, “uh,” stand at attention? And Les cries out “this never happened when I was with Lisa!”?

Advertisements

56 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

56 responses to “Say My Name

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    Does anyone involved here actually think that Les would cry out anyone else’s name at an “awkward moment”?

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Oh man, Batiuk has gone totally off the deep end this time. Lisa is impossible to follow as a wife, as a mother AND in the bedroom! Because of COURSE she is, as Lisa is magic. Witness the way this eighteen year old video recording has suddenly morphed into an actual “girl talk” heart-to-heart (albeit a strictly one-sided one) and the way Cayla is amused by it, as opposed to removing the DVD from the player and throwing down the nearest storm drain, which is what any sane rational person would surely do. BanTom is utterly enthralled by Lisa, always has been, always will be and he seems to think that everyone else is too. In his mind this is a deeply touching and moving look back on an iconic comic character and arc, not a sickening and frankly troubling display of appallingly self-indulgent Lisa fantasies. Which makes it all the more disturbing.

  3. Guest Page Turner Author

    This is , hands down, the absolute worst episode of this strip since he started making this strip.

    I have no idea how to post links. But somebody please post a link to Jesi Colter singing her hit country song from 1975, “I’m not Lisa”

    Same theme as today’s strip, but actually done with beauty and class.

  4. Ewwwww!

    Also, the only name Les cries out during coitus is his own.

  5. bigd1992

    What a narcissistic bitch.

  6. Batty Funkerbutt

    I just assumed Les would cry out the name SHAKESPEARE or FAULKNER during sex.

    “Trust me, he will..”? Oh man, Crazy Harry must be running wild blabbing that one to everybody at Montoni’s and Komix Korner.

  7. This should be grounds for divorce. But Cayla has decided she’s a carpet barely worthy of Les’ feet. So she’ll be all “Awww, Lisa is advising me! Awww!”

  8. The worst part–yes, even worse than having to imagine Les’ bedroom activities–is the wistful little half-smile Cayla is giving in the last panel, like she’s actually charmed by the notion of her husband being so hung up on his too-good-for-this-sinful-earth first wife (who, it must be restated, died ten years before Cayla even entered the picture) that he still fantasizes about her during sex. Does this woman have even the slightest shred of self-worth?

  9. Rusty

    @TheDiva: Yeah, that killed me. Why would Cayla smile at that?

  10. HAnzMFG

    Well, that’s it folks, it’s happened. I’ve finally felt violated by a comic strip. I had originally pegged “Pibgorn” to be the first to accomplish that, but FW surprised me.

  11. hankgillette

    Cayla is smiling because what Les actually said was “Oh My God, it was never like this with Lisa!”

  12. Mehe

    I… I… Don’t even have any shark. I give up on this strip. I honestly hope that at some point today someone runs to Batiuk’s home and confiscates all the paper, pencils, mice, tablets, computers, styluses, crayons, markers, and anything that could be a drawing implement. Lock him up like Benny Russell in that Deep Space 9 episode. Don’t even give him a piece of charcoal.

  13. Well, here we are. A reminder that, as Lynn Johnston would say, Les married his own ‘kind’. After all, Lisa was also a smug narcissist as well as being a passive idiot who hated discomfort, moral choices and understanding social norms but loved smirking at people with the will to dare and to do she lacked. She might have actually dug the idea of Les being a passive bystander who would do nothing with the foreknowledge of her death because it would mean that he’s reacting properly to the unkindness of the world.

  14. Funky Winkerbean and the Cleveland Browns have at least one thing in common. Both franchises keep finding new levels of rock bottom after you feel that rock bottom for either entity has already been reached.

  15. Ray

    Wow…just wow. I honestly don’t know where to begin. I’ve done a lot of living since I hit that magic time in my youth, and I’ve NEVER “cried out” another woman’s name. What sort of juju did she lay down on poor Lester that he can’t shake? Must have been a Rusty Trombone, or a Blumpkin.
    The scary part in all this is what is on that DVD for Les…I’m guessing Lisa is sitting in that wheelchair naked as the day she was born, just hitch hiking south.

  16. Mister Miggle

    So now we get to imagine Les Moore’s in the throes of passion. Isn’t that always the way. You always prepare for every punishment but the one you actually get.

  17. Saturnino

    ” But somebody please post a link to Jesi Colter singing her hit country song from 1975, “I’m not Lisa”

  18. @TheDiva: No. There’s a reason Lisa gave her a posthumous thumb’s up….she doesn’t have the spine to object to coming in second to a corpse.

  19. This is disgusting enough… and then you realize that Crazy Harry viewed all of this FIRST.

  20. sgtsaunders

    An “awkward moment?”… How about at the stroke of midnight at a New Years Eve party?

  21. Apauled

    I would not have thought it possible for this strip to be more disgusting than the episode about Harry Dinkle demanding that his elderly wife “put out” to thank him for throwing a cupcake party. Very sorry to see that I was wrong.

  22. Lisa has thus ensured that Cayla will never have sex with Les again..

    Anyway, the thing that bugs me is that these strips are produced a year in advance, and someone in the Comics Kingdom organization must have looked at them. The fact that there was not some sort of intervention performed means that CK management should be liable for criminal negligence. Between this and A3G (and probably other legacy strips that I’ve stopped reading long ago), what we are seeing is a really sad decline in quality of content coming out of CK, while there’s lots of other fresh new independent web comics that are struggling.

  23. While it’s probably a temporary loading glitch, there was something appropriate about there being no comments below the strip when I went to view it at the CK site. I said to myself, “oh all the commentators are in their bathrooms puking…”

  24. billytheskink

    An awkward moment?

    That describes the overwhelming majority of Les’ life, so Lisa should probably be more specific.

    On second thought, no, Lisa should not be more specific. This is why people become prudes.

  25. Jim in Wisc.

    MAKE IT STOP!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP NOW!!!

  26. bigd1992

    I could hope that Cayla’s smile is either wistful, or preferably a smile of satisfaction as her decision to run far away from this death cult is correct.

  27. ComicBookHarriet

    What I love is Lisa’s passive aggressive, “And he will.” If Lisa had intended this video to be shown earlier in ‘the other woman’s’ relationship, then she was determined to ruin their ‘first time.’

    This is sure an Easter Egg. It’s full of dead people who keep coming back, and sickeningly, disgusting and cheap ‘sweets”

  28. Here’s a recent Batiuk interview for Ohio Public Television. Not much to recommend spending 15 minutes of your time; all the standard TB milestones are covered: his teaching days, his rejection at the hands of Marvel and DC…of course he trots out the “quarter inch from reality” and even uses the phrase “in the main.” TB reads from the preface to one of his Complete FW collections about his early career, and in the background we see examples of his early art, including an “Amazing Mr. Sponge” comic drawn presumably during his boyhood.

    There are also examples (not very easy to see) of his early professional work. If these were part of his portfolio when he traveled to New York for a job in comics, it’s not hard to see why DC and Marvel laughed him out the door.

  29. Jimmy

    On the positive side, Les is no longer the character I hate most in this strip.

  30. DOlz

    Not-Lisa, you know you’re too much of a doormat when The Stepford Wives think you need an intervention.

  31. Merry Pookster

    Tom Batiuk cries out “Lisa” when he masterbates

  32. Saturnino

    Jessi Colter is still alive and not making tapes about Waylon Jennings……

  33. @bobanero:

    Lisa has thus ensured that Cayla will never have sex with Les again..

    Anyway, the thing that bugs me is that these strips are produced a year in advance, and someone in the Comics Kingdom organization must have looked at them. The fact that there was not some sort of intervention performed means that CK management should be liable for criminal negligence.

    One has to ask themselves if the Hearst Corporation actually cares about their King Features division anymore. Outside of Comics Kingdom (which pales in comparison to GoComics, itself a very good portal for independent web comics) there is a clear sense of disinvestment and disinterest over there. No quality control, poor editorial oversight, and a failure to either terminate or fire the people behind poorly performing properties (FW and A3G).

    It’s safe to say more people probably associate Hearst with their TV station chain than any of their newspapers, let alone any King Features property.

    In all seriousness, how long will it be until Hearst sells or spins off King Features? After all, Scripps sold off all of the United Features Syndicate and Newspaper Enterprises Association contracts – but not the copyrights – to Universal Uclick in 2011, and spun off their newspaper division outright in a merger with Journal Communications a few months ago.

    If that happens, it would be a significant monkey wrench thrown at Batiuk’s plan to scam the National Cartoonists Society into giving him a certificate of participation come 2022.

  34. Spacemanspiff85

    @TFHackett:
    It’s odd that Batiuk has named more than one character “Shaft”.

  35. Howtheduck

    My guess is that when Summer did her preview watching of this video, this is the point where she turned it off.

  36. hitorque

    I’m almost scared to think where this conversation goes for the rest of this week…

  37. Saturnino

    “I’m almost scared to think where this conversation goes for the rest of this week…”

    WE WERE WARNED:

    “But Lisa’s not done with us, folks. And while I am loathe to deliver spoilers, and try to dissuade my fellow authors from doing the same, I must warn you: this goes on into tomorrow and this week. “

  38. Are they still giving out the Arlo awards over at Comics I Don’t Understand? Because someone should tell them that Funky Winkerbean has now won all the Arlo awards, for ever, for the rest of time.

  39. Epicus Doomus

    I don’t think he realizes how deranged this is. IMO he sees this as a touching tribute to an iconic character, not a weird foray into madness and obsession. With the fifty other plot threads he has dangling there, THIS is what he’s focused on now…Lisa and Les’ sex lives. Just insane.

  40. @tfhackett – That can’t be Batiuk’s lettering. All the “L”s are unsquiggly.

  41. Charles

    I’m almost scared to think where this conversation goes for the rest of this week…

    “Almost”? I’m terrified! And fascinated!

    You know, ED, when you warned me on Sunday about how much worse this was going to get, I laughed at you, because I figured that it was all pretty much wallowing, where it would absolutely stay horrific, but it couldn’t possibly get worse. Lisa’s narcissism was so bad already that I wouldn’t be surprised by anything. I was wrong.

    But it’s so terrible it’s comical now. Before Batiuk just seemed like a guy who was out of ideas, so he just kept choking the Lisa chicken in hopes that he could recapture his self-assigned glory from a decade ago. But this… he’s no longer boring. He’s really kind of amazing. What’s going on in his mind where he thought this was appropriate and normal? That Cayla would react like that? That of all the things he could be writing about THIS is what he decides? Despite the fact that he, like most of us I suspect, grew up and lived in 20th century America, this is part of his worldview. It’s fascinating to me to consider just what brought him to this point.

    The number of boring topics he could go with in his little universe is almost limitless, and he goes with this…. Jesus MFing Christ.

  42. $$$WESTVIEWONCOLOGIST$$$

    This strip would be less creepier if Les dug up Lisa’s corpse and used her in a necrophilic three way with Cayla. Seriously, this qualifies as the most creepy comic strip ever written. I’m serious about this!!

  43. $$$WESTVIEWONCOLOGIST$$$

    Even worse part of this strip is that it makes me wish “The Defender” returned to attempt to justify this strip’s “warmth”!!

  44. Just when I think this strip cannot sink any lower Bat-hack comes through and ramps up the cringe factor. Bleeeccchhh !

  45. Professor Fate

    Oh god – really? Does he think this is charming or is he just trolling the snarkers? One does wonder.
    Still – thinking about you- you have to wonder just how does Lisa know that Les will call out her name? She’s dying and while it isn’t unrealistic for her to imagine Les getting married again, how can she be so sure about this that Les will remain utterly obsessed with her to the point of crying out her name when he’s with another woman? I mean, we, the readers, know he’s like this because we’ve seen it. Lisa hasn’t. So unless she was a far better judge of people than she ever showed or she’s making this tape from beyond the grave (which would at least liven up the arc a bit)

  46. Epicus Doomus

    Charles: It really is incredible. He simply can’t stop gloating about “Lisa’s Story”, even eight years after the fact. For a while there I thought the worst of it had passed, maybe we’d get a yearly reminder on Mother’s Day or during the annual cancer fun run, stuff like that. But now, just completely out of nowhere, he has Lisa video chatting with Cayla from beyond the grave. In one way it’s almost like he’s admitting that he made a huge mistake by killing Lisa off. I mean “LS” could still exist with Lisa beating her cancer and aside from the cheap shock value he gained from it killing her, it wouldn’t really be all that different. But he made his choice and now he just can’t accept it, he’s finding even sillier and more contrived ways to keep Lisa relevant, all just to stroke his own ego and make himself feel better about it. And he apparently has no idea how weird and insane it is. There’s absolutely no earthly reason for this, it might have made a little sense back when Cayla was having trouble dealing with Les’ Lisa issues but they’ve been married for years now, it’s just completely random and out of place.

  47. sgtsaunders

    Lisa may be so confident that Les will “cry out” her name because when she was engaged in coitus with Les, he would scream: “STATION WAGON SUSIEEEEE”!!!

  48. SpacemanSpiff85

    This strip almost makes Les looking at that actress’s website “not in a weird way” seem charming by comparison.

  49. Rembrandt36

    Sorry fellow readers. I read this last night and my brain fell out of its casing. I cannot even fathom the words about this dreck. I got nothing.

  50. Charles

    how can she be so sure about this that Les will remain utterly obsessed with her to the point of crying out her name when he’s with another woman?

    That’s the purpose of these video tapes: to ensure that Les never moves on from Lisa. There is apparently not a single significant event in Les’s post-Lisa’s-death life where she didn’t have a videotape where she could address said event. (Let’s include Summer in there as well) She always wanted him to be beholden to her memory, to be inserted into every experience, milestone or accomplishment that Les has for the rest of his life. She WANTED him to scream out her name whenever he was having sex with another woman, and she made all these video tapes to ensure it. Look at this most recent one, where she’s basically telling Cayla that Lisa has Les mindscrewed cold, so much so that when Cayla and Les are involved in quite possibly the most personal and intimate moment of their relationship, Les is thinking about Lisa instead. And Cayla has to accept it. She has to find it charming, because Les is just that wonderful. And no wonder Lisa thought that, seeing as how Les is still devoted to her eighteen years after her death, moreso than any living person in his life. Even dogs that would defend their owners to their death aren’t this loyal.

    So that’s what Lisa wanted. She never wanted Les to get on with the rest of his life. She always wanted him mourning her, and remembering her every single time he would reflect on something in his life.

  51. Congratulations, Tom Batiuk–you’ve taken the one element that some might say was kind of nice and touching–Les and Lisa’s relationship–and turned it into a creeping nightmare. (“Some” doesn’t include me, but I’m sure there were those who defended the strip based on that relationship. I hope they’ve moved on.)

  52. What’s even more troubling is that this arc was preceded by the “time pool” arc that had high school-age Lisa asking “Where am I?”.

  53. MKay

    I’m not sure my stomach will ever stop churning.

  54. I’m not surprised, I can so see that happening.

  55. ComicTrek

    She’s warning you, lady! Leave! …Now! (*disgusting*)