Chill de Wine

October 6, 2015 at 7:44 am
Cindy should be in her mid-50’s based on the old strip where Batiuk has them as the class of 78 at a reunion…

That’s how I had her pegged, too, but according to the FW Wikipedia entry, “[in] 1992, Batiuk rebooted the strip, establishing that the characters had graduated from high-school in 1988.” In any event, it’s doubtful that Batiuk knows or cares. So let’s split the difference and say Cindy’s, oh, 50. What’s never been estabished is Mason’s age. Come to think of it, about Mason we’ve learned very little, beyond the fact that he’s anxiety-prone, superstitious, and rather gullible. And today we learn that he’s also something of a philosopher, if not a wine snob.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

30 responses to “Chill de Wine

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Now I understand why BanTom suddenly abandons story arcs and abruptly switches gears, as well as why he wallows in old long-ago arcs. He’s just doing whatever he likes! See, I knew there was a reason.

  2. It’s not a bad strip, and not really a bad way to look at life. Which makes me wonder what it’s doing here in Funky Winkerbean. I mean, where’s the dread?

  3. Rembrandt36

    Wait – a decent strip today? A hopeful strip? What have you done with the real Tom Batiuk – and can you keep him? In other news, where the hell do the front straps of Cindy’s bikini top go?

  4. ComicTrek

    Still. Today’s strip could have been fine all the way if it hadn’t been for that extra panel. Cindy’s “oldness” has nothing to do with wine. At least, not the drinking kind! (*rimshot*)

  5. “Serving white whine with beef, though? An abomination!”

  6. Merry Pookster

    History Lesson: The “gang” had their 30th class reunion in 2008.
    So that makes them the class of 1978′ So today in 2015 they would be about 55 years old:

  7. SpacemanSpiff85

    The dread will come tomorrow, when Mason goes on to say “And if you like drinking three more bottles of wine with ice cubes after that…you should do it!” and it turns out that Cindy’s falling in love with another alcoholic.

  8. Talk about old! I remember when Mason had a neck!

  9. Rusty

    @merry pookster: There it is. It resonated with me because I was class of 79 and thought it odd that Batiuk was suddenly portraying characters my age as these doddering fatties.

    As for today’s strip, that’s what passes as deep in Westview.

  10. Rusty

    Of course, Batiuk may have frozen them at 48 even though their children age each year.

  11. billytheskink

    I honestly would not have bet on a character in this strip ever spouting a “live and let live” worldview. Not after spending decades wallowing in live and let die shtick. It’s a bit jarring to see, actually.

    Ugh, I’m sorry for that one…

  12. HAnzMFG

    So today’s strip is recommending that I drink Sangria? Gotta say, I like Funky Winkerbean’s new direction: instead of awful storylines about undead Lisa threatening people beyond the grave, we have characters recommending we just drink instead.

  13. Epicus Doomus

    Trying to really nail down the FW timeline is difficult, mainly because BatNard started ignoring the time jump right after he aged everyone way, way too much. Boy, when you look back on it now that time jump was a really stupid idea, you know? Half of Act III ended up being about Lisa anyway and the Summer stuff never went anywhere, so he might as well have just played it out chronologically instead of pretending it was ten years later.

  14. Guest Page Turner Author

    Drinking red wine with ice cubes is something that a very YOUNG woman would do.

    Old farts like sexy Cindy would be able to appreciate red wine.

    But no one drinks red wine on the beach, pass me PBR!

  15. Jon I Am

    I can’t help but feel as though the “live and let live” message is a passive-aggressive dig at people like us who criticize and make fun of this strip. “Hey…if I want to base my strip around an unlikeable sad-sack dweeb, as well as cancer and death, live and let live!”

    While I could very well be wrong, that was my gut feeling after reading today’s strip.

  16. I shouldn’t say this because my hopes will probably be dashed – Is it possible that Mason Jarr is going to be the “Starbuck Jones” to rescue this strip from its pool of misery?

  17. This is not really especially reassuring given that “younger man plus older woman” equals “bizarre taste”. Then again, what can we expect from an angry, tone-deaf man?

  18. Chyron HR

    “Our age difference doesn’t bother me at all. I mean, I look like Dale Gribble, so I can’t afford to be picky.”

  19. Rusty Shackleford

    If Batty wanted to be topical, he could have Cindy going crazy with the plastic surgery and have her come out looking like a space alien. We could see her on buddyblog doing stupid things in a desperate attempt to look young and in the know.

  20. What’s never been estabished is Mason’s age. Come to think of it, about Mason we’ve learned very little, beyond the fact that he’s anxiety-prone, superstitious, and rather gullible.

    Mason Jarr The Movie Actor Who Got Starbuck Jonesed isn’t a character. He’s a glorified plot device.

  21. This makes me want to pour out my $8 Sierra Nevada on the sand and go get a Miller Lite…

  22. Hannibal's Lectern

    In tomorrow’s strip we learn that drinking red wine with an ice cube in it turns the normally beneficial, cancer-fighting anti-oxidants into the most powerful carcinogens ever discovered. Mason Jarr The Actor will soon look like a bus-sized truffle.


    As a wine connoisseur …but drinking red wine with an ice cube is so wrong on many levels. In fact most people who aren’t wine enthusiasts would consider that gauche. Meaning that this whole metaphor basically tells us that the age difference IS an issue and these two shouldn’t get together.

    Thanks Batiuk, you just argued against your own point. Brilliant.l

  24. bigd1992

    Age difference? Maybe Blessed Dead Saint Lisa made a TAPE about it? Athens had the Oracle at Delphi, Westview has Lisa!

  25. Nice to see the trendy culture of the moneyed classes in Los Angeles hasn’t rubbed off on Mason a bit — He’s still the same small-town midwest rube he always was…

  26. bayoustu

    CliffsNotes for this strip: Cindy is old. Funky is fat. Lisa is undead. Les is insufferable. Crazy Harry has a beard. Dead Skunk Head John is creepy. Pete Rofelhooven is a mope. Dinkle was deaf- for a day. All teenagers are stupid and all technology is bad. Oh- and then there’s cancer.

  27. JerrytheMacGuy

    Poor Cindy Crawford is in her last “cute” decade. Even her famous mole fell off her face!

    Seriously, Cindy Crawford is still a lovely woman, not afraid of aging, and a lot less shallow and superficial than Cindy Winkerbean.

  28. @bayoustu: Aye, Funky is fat, and he’s an alcoholic, but he’s not an interesting alcoholic. It’s almost as if Funky was a regular guy just trying to figure out plane geometry, and then, out of the blue, alcoholism was grafted onto him, all urgently, as if a Pulitzer prize were at stake.

  29. Rusty Shackleford

    Yeah, WTF. How come 99% of the class got fat and frumpy overnight while Cindy still looks young?

    Ahhhh, who cares… Cmon Ativan, kick in and take me away from this place.

  30. Charles

    Gotta admire this strip’s commitment to its characters’ misery. Here you have Cindy, who has been a network anchorwoman pretty much her whole life. She’s still comfortable enough to traipse around in a bikini despite the fact that she’s over fifty. She has a movie star boyfriend. Said movie star boyfriend is young enough that their pairing together is considered unusual, but he doesn’t care. Her too-young-for-her movie star boyfriend essentially decided to get together with her the day they met. And despite the fact that most media people have hectic schedules and very little free time, she’s able to find time to go to the beach with her movie star boyfriend. To talk about how terrible things are for her. To talk about how unfair the world is to her.

    I don’t think there’s a single person in this sad little universe who’s capable of happiness. Hell, they don’t want it. They look for misery every day. Every silver cloud has a grey lining, I guess.