Calico Banana Pants

Calico what? What’s with the title of today’s snark? It came to me when I realized by panel 2 that Tombat was basically stringing unrelated words together. This begs the question, what kind of mushrooms are on a Montoni’s pizza? If I didn’t know better and was eavesdropping I’d think these three were tripping their balls off on something.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Calico Banana Pants

  1. Epicus Doomus

    So it’s 2026 in the Funkyverse and we see Harry plant the seeds of rebellion against the tyrannical President Jenner’s sortware virus that’s stripped humankind of its ability to choose their own personal music playlists. Funky and that comic book weirdo appear poised to join Crazy on his quest to keep Emmylou Harris from f*cking up his serious-as-all-get-out playlist before it’s too late.

    Oh wait, I’m sorry. I forgot that we have to pretend the big time skip never happened, so it’s apparently just boring old 2016 and these three morons are still babbling like idiots about things and situations which don’t even exist in real life. Leave it to Batiuk to take a flimsy premise based on a mundane thought and flog a week’s worth of nothing out of it.

  2. Maybe we should get a computer to generate this strip. It could hardly do any worse.

  3. billytheskink

    Who accused Crazy of being a chauvinist? We only accused him of being a Luddite, which I think is more than fair.

  4. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    No, Crazy is a Hidebound Literalist. Get it right. Still, BatRamble makes an excellent point, worthy of several more weeks of discussion. Do we want Internuts and Twitter Tots to make our playlists?? Hells no, I say! Let’s take a stand! Grab your pitchforks and torches! We’re going to MyTunes Headquarters TONIGHT!!!

  5. SpacemanSpiff85

    I am so sick of John. He was a lousy character from the start, and has only gotten worse since his entire thing now is either sitting around Montoni’s commenting on what other people say, or sitting in his store commenting on what other people say. Why is he in Montoni’s all the time now, instead of Les? Does Batiuk think these storylines are beneath Les? It can’t be that he thinks his readers are sick of Les. No way is he that self-aware.

  6. Maybe I’m giving The Author too much credit for subtlety, but I wonder if he thinks this stupid arc is his way of criticizing the commenters who take issue with his genius. While the comment in panel two makes no sense it’s really just the set-up for Funky’s claim that there’s a “playlist gene”, whatever that could be. The whole thing has ended up with three guys with too much time on their hands making pronouncements about something they know nothing about.

  7. Playlist Gene wants you to listen to the great Punk Flood album Molecule Kidney Sister.

  8. What we have here is three irritating old white men with too much time on their hands rebelling against nothing at all. As I said, computers don’t know things and also, you don’t have to accept their suggestions. These idiots refuse to live in a world wherein it’s great being a white guy because they conflate a mild inconvenience with being the victim of all victims surpassing all others. Hmm. I wonder if Elly Patterson will show up, start throttling Crazy and tell him to stop stealing her bit.

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    John, like most characters in the strip, is just a dogpoo character. (Named after Dogpoo Petuski, a throw away character in South Park.)

  10. And Batiuk’s descent into opinionated madness continues.

  11. Rusty

    I’m 55 years old and never made a playlist. I now feel as if I’m not missing out on anything.

  12. This is a horse that was dead when the starting gate opened, and he’s continued to beat it all week. Just when you think the bar can’t get any lower, TB manages to squirm under it.

  13. billytheskink

    Over in Crankshaft, Kablichnick is getting more panel time than he’s gotten in quite a while in the strip he actually belongs to.

    This crossover would be a bigger deal if the timing was better. Despite working a year ahead, TB managed to put Kablichnick’s cameo just a week after Dick Tracy’s cameo-filled comic detective convention week and landed the same week that the Phantom’s mother-in-law showed up pensively riding on the back of an elephant while Mandrake the Magician teased her grandchildren with a gag gift of disappearing exotic sports cars.


    Dear God in Heaven….Batiuk get over it!!!

    I-Tunes made an error in recommending a tune. It’s ok it’s not the end of the world. I’m pretty sure it works most of the time. And if it doesn’t…………THEN DON’T USE THE EFFING RECOMMENDATIONS!!!

    OR DON’T USE ITUNES!!! Or don’t use e-music whatsoever!!!

    It’s ok, it’s a free country you don’t have to use products you don’t want to.

    Much like readers can choose NOT to read your moronic comic strip!!!!!!!!!!

  15. HeyItsDave

    @Gerard Plourde – It’s pretty obvious that Funky will be up for a Nobel Prize in Genetics this year, much like The Author was up for a Pulitzer when he killed off Our Lady Of Perpetual Cancer Lisa.

  16. ComicBookHarriet

    @ Rusty, I’m 27 and I’ve never made a playlist. I KNOW I’m not really missing out on anything.

    The most interesting part of the strip was the use of the word Chauvinist. Which had gradually migrated in meaning from, “showing or relating to excessive or prejudiced loyalty or support for a particular group or cause.” to just plain sexism. I assume Batuik means the old meaning…or Harry is worried that complaining about playlists is some kind of white male micro-aggression.

  17. So, is the Komix Korner locked up, or are the kids just walking off with everything? The only employees are sipping coffee downstairs bitching about playlists.

  18. A HREF

    Is that a young Robert Plant in the header?

    Or is it Roger Daltrey?

  19. The whole “chauvinist” thing is just…. weird… off, in kind of TB-is-having-a-senior-moment-here way. As Harriet rightly pointed out above, the term has evolved away from its literal roots to imply male sexism, to the point where 99% of FW readers who encounter the term will stop and say, “Huh? What does that have to do with man versus software?” One supposes, however, that a presumed synonym that would have fit, was not available; obviously “humanist” won’t work, and I think “homoist” or “sapiensist” would have been even weirder head-scratchers. “Luddite” may be the only viable option.. So why didn’t TB use that, when most folks would then get what Harry was saying and not have to stop and think about it. This seems to fit a pattern of TB just tossing out the first text that comes to mind, regardless of whether or not this or that word actually serves the narrative, i.e., is a workable component within his storytelling. In fact, “chauvinist” is so off-balance here that it completely distracts the reader from getting the gag (term used loosely) about 3 old white guys complaining about just not fitting in to this modern world. He should have just gone with something like “If you like Robert Plant then you might enjoy Ray Davies’ klassic Kinks komposition “20th Century Man”… and then have Harry and Funky quoting the song lyrics to John… now THAT would have made for a fun arc. I mean, c’mon TB, even “Zits” has the teenager’s dad sporting the occasional non-ironic rock teeshirt (when he appeared in the strip wearing a Flamin’ Groovies tee I almost had a heart attack). Surely you could come up with something more pop-culture-ironic and a-fine-line-between-clever-and-stupid than this whole Plant-Harris pabulum.

  20. Jimmy

    @ComicBookHarriet: I really believe he originally wrote man, but an editor wanted a change…ah, who am I kidding? Editors don’t pay attention to FW.

    @HREF: Jessica Darling, daughter of John Darling who was murdered, is a harbinger. She expresses horror that her suggestion includes Silversun Pickups with Bruno Mars.

  21. Professor Fate

    In the header it looks like the wife of Boy Lisa to me – this bodes ill.
    This week reminds me of one of several Bob and Ray routines were there would be a totally inane discussion like why don’t people wrap sandwiches in wax paper anymore meantime there was a bank robbery or fire or something going on that they would totally ignore. It would seem in this case the Author has forgotten to supply the second part of the gag which is what made it funny.

  22. The Dreamer

    I guess Batiuk doesn’t use online music services like Pandora, which are very popular and with so many millions of listeners, has to rely on computer-generated playlists

    Wait this is Montoni’s we are talking about, where they probably still have nothing but pre-1972 45’s in their old jukebox. These guys wouldn’t have a clue about online music streaming

  23. Epicus Doomus

    HeyItsDave: Your parody strips are great and the font is fantastic. What’s it called (the font)?

  24. HeyItsDave

    @Epicus Doomus – I’m an old-school graphic artist…I cut and paste the actual FW font from the strips.

  25. Epicus Doomus

    HeyItsDave: Excellent stuff! There’s always room here for parody strips and no strip is more parody-friendly.