Pulling One Off

Link to today’s strip

The fine art of Batiuksturbation in all its glory. See, Pete bought that ring not knowing Cliff sold it and (zzzzzzzzz), other stuff, (zzzzzzz) and here we are with “everything” coming full circle again. In a way, I mean.

It’s a celebrity Q&A session where no one’s asking or answering any questions, how very novel. Everyone’s apparently just standing around gawking at a guy who, until a few weeks ago, was utterly and completely forgotten by everyone. “So Mr. Anger, what in God’s name have you been DOING for sixty years?”…”So, Mr. Anger, why did you leave showbiz?”…”Cliff, how did you afford to live in NYC for six decades with no visible means of support?”…”Pete, isn’t it true that you whined about having to visit Cleveland and that you had no interest in even seeing that old SJ movie?”…”Mason, does the studio still pay you while you’re off doing these bizarre things?”…nothing.

But there’s plenty of time to discuss (sigh) decoder rings, as obviously they played a huge, huge role in TheAuthor’s upbringing. Perhaps someday he’ll release a FW decoder ring which FW readers could use to make sense out of his rambling incoherent “stories”. It’d have to be quite a large ring, though.

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14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “Pulling One Off

  1. Jimmy

    Bad news: the FW ring gives you cancer.

  2. Ugh, that guy in the foreground…the goatee, the insufferably smug smirk-mouth. Does Les have a “long-lost brother” storyline in the works?

  3. Rembrandt36

    I like how we completely missed the whole Pete-and-Darrin-got-their-shit-together-and-finished-the-storyboards-and-script story.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    So think about this from Anger’s perspective. Sixty years ago he appeared in some long-forgotten old sci-fi B-movies. Then he retired to his NYC apartment, packed his old Starbuck Jones junk in a suitcase and shoved it under the bed. Then he spent the next six decades sitting there being crabby.

    Now suddenly, just like that, he’s IN a new big budget movie and he’s being hailed as a hero by throngs of adoring fans. And he’s seems oddly as ease with it all, like it’s all just no big deal to not only be suddenly thrust into the limelight out of nowhere but to suddenly realize that you needlessly wasted nearly your entire life for no reason. Of course BanTom plays it all cutesy because old folks are adorable and all but really it’s kind of horrifying to think about. Sixty years of total irrelevance and now he’s forced to relive his youth which only further drives home how sad and pitiful his story is. He was never anything more than a guy playing an obscure comic book character in a bad old movie, it was the high-water mark of his entire bleak and meaningless existence. Just a sad old clown, dancing for the amusement of ironic hipster comic book collectors in his SJ costume one last time, facing the horror of the life he threw away. Pretty dark stuff.

  5. On this side, Batiuk not really thinking it through because he thinks that contrived coincidences are how a story is written. On the other, Les acting all hip and connected when we know that he doesn’t know what Amazon.com is.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    It seem that the point we’re overlooking is the fact that we have given more thought to Cliff Anger’s backstory than Batty apparently has. Every character in this strip at this point exists for the sole purpose of being a mouthpiece for whatever point Batty is trying to make. No thought is given to make them real.

    Take, for example, Holly Budd. This is a character who we know is a breast cancer survivor who has volunteered to “buddy” with patients combatting the disease (in her return to the strip she talked to Lisa during her first bout with the disease), was for a time a single parent, is married to Funky and works at Montoni’s (if Montoni’s were like most family-run businesses she would have a major role in its operation). With all of this to work with, what has she done recently? A demonstration of her “flaming baton” routine she did over thirty years ago in high school on the “Starbuck Jones” location shoot (also with no explanation how she would happen to be in Cleveland at that precise moment rather than Westview since there would be no reason for her to be on the trip to the Sceince Center).

    All of this is a long way of saying that we shoudn’t be surprised that Cliff Anger did nothing (except age) in the time between his role as “Starbuck Jones” (in the ’50s retconned to accommodate ’40s serials) and the moment Cindy trespassed into his apartment.

  7. Batiuk, if you’re not going to actually name for something, don’t you a soundalike name. That just makes you stupid.

  8. So I was wrong yesterday about TB ignoring the fact that Pete Ringading was one of the owners of the decoder ring. It’s still not at all clear to me why Pete’s idea was a good one – “Hey, let’s interrupt the filming of the movie, pay an arm and a leg to have a catered event at an upscale restaurant, invite people using some cryptic message printed in a dying communication medium on the seventh page, so we don’t have any idea how many people will show up, prop up a washed up film actor on a dais, and don’t bother to invite the journalist who is doing a feature story on said actor.” Since it’s probably going to be months before filming and editing are finished and the film is released, any media buzz that this event has generated will be long forgotten by then.

  9. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Great. Now Cliff Anger knows who to beat the shit out of for lowballing him on the offer price. You will NOT be receiving positive feedback,Pete!

  10. HeyItsDave

    Since we’re talking about the Silver Grille (IT’S GRILLE WITH AN “E”, BATSHIT, GET IT?) here’s a picture of their urinals.

    It’s from a site called urinal.net, which is a website you should check out if you want to look at seemingly endless pages of photos of urinals here and there.

  11. professor fate

    I know it’s a foolish question to ask but I have to: is there a point to all this? This gibberish isn’t even moving the story sideways.

  12. hitorque

    “Don’t touch the floral arrangements on your tables — Those are for the O’Donovan wedding reception which starts at noon… Sorry I couldn’t reserve the banquet hall long enough for you to get served anything other than glasses of water!”

  13. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Crankshaft –

    Again with this computer recommendation crap!! Jeez can Batiuk just get over this!! Tom Batiuk gets recommended the wrong thing on his Itunes and we the reader have to suffer for it!!

  14. I bet Wedgeman’s ring could decode this, just by being buried in the back of someone’s skull.

    This kind of Q&A stuff (assuming anyone gets around to Aing a Q) is always done after the movie wraps, not during production. Interviews during production are done on set, in between takes. This film will never be completed.

    Just as well, it saves Tom Batiuk from having to do anything outside of smirking and puns.